sick of being stuck in a housing rut!

abi-em-mum83

neas wrote: »

Lol, the typo speaks the truth... your family is being heavily subsidised at the moment, Take away all the tax credits, benefits and child support and your partners 23k salary wouldn't go far enough.

What i dislike about people who are benefitting from the benefits system.. its great its paying for you to live the way you do, you arent in debt, and you arent on the streets therefore it helps you. It isnt perfect though as your situation desribes but things could be alot worse.

Maybe you arent expecting people to pay for your family but the fact remains they are, significantly so.... and without it without the social system as it is you'd be up a creek without a paddle so to speak.

We receive child benefit for our 2 children, and £9 per week tax credits. I receive no benefits for my disability as of yet. The way we got out of debt was from me and my partner having 2 jobs and WORKING our butts off to pay it. I worked 2 jobs, did Avon,sold on Ebay, we did not have a holiday, I had one pair of shoes and 1 pair of jeans so every penny we EARNED went to pay those debts. Now we have credit, we have a loan and a credit card that is essential sowe can live on one income. When I say debt I was talking about loans that my ex had taken out in my name to buy cars and take his bit on the side for fancy meals, that I was in arrears with and in the hands of debt collection agencies.
I DONT EXPECT THE LOCAL COUNCIL to house us, maybe its not clear in my posts but we are looking for ways to help ourselves!
We pay all of our rent, my daughter is wearing a school jumper that has holes in it, our weekly food bill for us all is £50. We manage because we have no luxuries, we scrimp and pay for it all ourselves, except for the child benefit (which everyone earning under ££40k receives) and as I say £9 a week child tax credits. Hardly a subsidised living!!

babyemily

I too have STP but its managed far better then yours which is strange! I have never heard of it being managed as a chronic illness on painkillers? Physiotherapy is brilliant and the physio clinic will make you a belt type thing which pulls the pelivis back into alignment - I know its not the most glamorous of attire but it definitely works :-) Also exercise especially in water helps loads. I cant swim but you can still do water yoga etc... I know its off topic but I just feel that you are not getting the best help or advice for your condition. x

hcb42

Just a point on the mortgages, as I dont know a lot about council renting...no one will get a 100% mortgage any more - those days are gone.

With sciatica, (which I also have) is moving not advantageous? It can be agony, but I work with it, and was driving 110 miles round trip until recently - now got a job nearer home..phew. Are you getting the right treatment/advice?

ruggedtoast

I dont think you have to justify yourself. It isnt unreasonable to have children when there is meant to be a benefits safety net to help you look after them.

Its unreasonable to have children so you can spend the extra money on beer and fags, which clearly isnt what you want to do.

Most average earners cant really afford to have children without free healthcare, free education, tax credits and child benefit.

I dont really see why it should just be the Ruperts and Henrietta's that get to have kids when they themselves are beneficiaries of a system that is frequently unfair and rewards people financially by who their parents were.

abi-em-mum83

sonastin wrote: »

...erm, typo?

I agree it wasn't a great reply. Any ways you can boost your income working from home?

Lol yes it was a typo bloomin painkillers mean Im not the sharpest tool in the box! I sell everything on Ebay, and my partner often tries to sell at boot sales. I do a lot of the survey websites to try and earn a few more pennies. But because Im not able to get about much I cant do things like Avon/Betterware etc. Im not able to do any of te phone line things yet because I have a loud 2 year old around the place and they wont take me on! My oh works long hours but then does some food delivery, but to be honest when you factor the costs of petrol and wear and tear on the car its maybe an extra £5! Id be really grateful to hear anyother ideas for earning more pennies! We have already cut everything waaay back, cant remember what alcohol tastes like, and would kill to buy a pair of new shoes,even just Primark ones! Unfortunately because we pay for everything ourselves, full housing and council tax, school uniforms and meals,child maintenence,dental treatment,transport costs to my hospital appointments etc, we have no money left over to start saving for a deposit etc.

neas

obviously if there was some way you could get around your illness would be brilliant. Shame houses are so expensive in your area. for me £550 or £600 would get a 3 bed house worth 150k

darkpool

abi-em-mum83 wrote: »

I DONT EXPECT THE LOCAL COUNCIL to house us, QUOTE]

but in your first post you say you live in a local authority flat?

abi-em-mum83

hcb42 wrote: »

Just a point on the mortgages, as I dont know a lot about council renting...no one will get a 100% mortgage any more - those days are gone.

With sciatica, (which I also have) is moving not advantageous? It can be agony, but I work with it, and was driving 110 miles round trip until recently - now got a job nearer home..phew. Are you getting the right treatment/advice?

Hi thanks for your replies. I have ongoing physiotherapy which includes sessions in the pool and I do the exercises daily. I actually found the pain improved with doing some very light pilates (I have a friend who comes over and instructs me) and so trying to align my spine and build my core strength. I also found cutting all sugar,especially fizzy drinks meant the pain improved.)I have always had a slightly curved spine which is aggravating the pelvis, and they cant say if i will ever regain feeling in my leg (from hip to toe I only have sensation in my big toe, the rest goes from being numb to feeling like its on fire which is excruciating). That numbness means that leg is quite weak and Im a bit unstable on it, like when your arm goes dead and it sorts of flops around lol.
I dont know if Im getting the right treatment, I do sometimes feel like Im just thrown painkillers and told to get on with it. My consultant has said after 2 years of constant physio with no improvement it was just a waste of time, but I demanded to carry on incase it improves. It was the same consultant, along with my own gp and health visitor that have said Im in no position to work and should be applying for DLA. I dont know if its just laziness but they seem to have just given up on ever getting me better, and just trying to manage the pain now. I have recently joined a support group for women who have never recovered from SPD, some are in wheelchairs 10 years after having their children! However they have given me some great ideas on types of therapy, which I have googled and printed off so I can go into my next consultant appointment armed!lol x

abi-em-mum83

darkpool wrote: »

abi-em-mum83 wrote: »

I DONT EXPECT THE LOCAL COUNCIL to house us, QUOTE]

but in your first post you say you live in a local authority flat?

Yes we live in a council owned property flat, what I meant is that Im not of the opinion that I should just snap my fingers and the council should move us just because we've had unplanned children and my health has deteriorated. Im looking for ways we can improve our situation ourselves.
I do apologise if my posts arent coming across clearly, Im on a strong concoction of painkillers which make me feel like a zombie,so Im not always able to get what I want to say across. Im also sorry if Im snapping at anyone. Everyones entitled to their opinion, and based on limited information of course people are going to judge and jump to conclusions. I just feel like we really want to help ourselves and its frustrating that increasingly we are depending on help, be it financially with the DLA, or with Home Start etc. We dont want to depend on anyones help but we feel like theres no reward for trying our best and working our butts off. Despite spending many years working,paying taxes, 2 jobs, we cant get ourselves out of this rut.
I could say I should never gotten into a relationship with a man with 2 children, and therefore no responsibilities but we cant choose who we fall in love with and hes an amazing hard working,kind man. And we should never of had children, but at the end of the day we were trying NOT to have them!lol. I did consider abortion because we were not in a comfortable enough position,I wanted to own my own home and have savings in place before ever having more children. I just couldnt bring myself to terminate either time. Some people may say that was stupid, but I could never do that again (was sexually abused as a teen,fell pregnant,terminated and had to deal with years of depression and suicide attempts). At the moment the state actually pays less for my children then if I worked, as we would be claiming for more tax credits etc.
Im sorry if Im rambling, Im in tears while I type this, and while I may come in for a hard time its actually cathartic to get it all off my chest. We want to be able to improve our own lives. But I cant see any way. Thats why I posted,sometimes a fresh pair of eyes can see things we never could and give great suggestions.

Oldernotwiser

abi-em-mum83 wrote: »

It was the same consultant, along with my own gp and health visitor that have said Im in no position to work and should be applying for DLA.

DLA isn't an out of work benefit; many people receive it and work part/full time.