peoples true colours when theres money involved!

Sambucus_Nigra

If you find out that she is entitled to the DIS payments [which I believe does go to the widow/er], will you apologise to her for thinking she is money grabbing?

rpc

paddy's_mum wrote: »

If his Death in Service payment is due to his widow, then they cannot refuse it and she is entitled. Sorry if that upsets anyone but that is the legal and lawful position.

We do not know the terms of the pension agreement, and this is not necessarily the case. In every pension scheme I know of (not very many!) the trustees decide who receives death benefits. I make an "expression of wish" but it is non-binding - exactly as mountainofdebt explains. The trustees can ignore it, and perhaps this is one situation where they might be persuaded to (if it is the same arrangement).

If the pension is arranged so that a seperated spouse must receive the benefits, then the pension scheme would have to do this although it sounds rather an odd arrangement. There might still be some claim against the widow, if not the pension company.

This is not a simple issue and in the place of the OP I would be making an appointment with a solicitor and probably getting them to write to both widow and pension company if they agree that the death benefit is covered by the deed.

deedee71

A woman is married to a man for 27 years, perhaps going without so contributions can be made to her husband's pension. Perhaps even at the expense of her own pension?

Who do you think his pension should be payable to? Did your dad leave behind any financially dependant children?

Not sure it's your stepmother who is the money grabber here.

SandC

The death in service payment is separate to his pension -as you say they had written up clauses within their legal separation to cover this. The death in service payment is basically life assurance - often it's dependent upon being a member of the company pension scheme but it's a different thing.

Where I work we have a pension scheme and the provider requests that members complete a nomination form for who they wish the fund to go to in the event of their death. We also have life assurance which is the death in service element. We have separate 'expression of wishes' forms which cover this payment, which is a lump sum of 3x the yearly salary of the employee concerned.

I think your father probably forgot that this was a different issue - it's certainly happened here where I work. And in the few cases I've seen the payment has had to go to the named beneficiary. It is not part of the estate unless no form has been completed, as far as I'm aware.

Sorry but I think she's entitled to this payment and that the pension has been dealt with separately.

I am sorry for your loss.

Bambywamby

Sorry for the loss of your dad. x x

The best thing to do is probaby seek legal advice - then you will know for sure what she is and isn't entitled to.

betty_d

Sympathies for your loss. My dad died some years ago and his Death in Service payment was split between myself, my siblings and his current partner of 5+ years. My mother (his wife of 20+ years from whom he was separated but not divorced) got his pension. It was all pretty difficult at the time and there were various other issues to do with not having a valid will that complicated things, but in retrospect it was probably a reasonable division reflecting the fact that both women had been important parts of his life while he was contributing towards the pension.

andy.m_2

Death in service has to be nominated specifically otherwise it is automatically paid to the next of kin.

As they were not divorced then as painful as it may be were they not still man and wife at the time of his passing?

His estate is a totally different entity to be divided up as per the wishes within his will.

mumof3kids

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

If you find out that she is entitled to the DIS payments [which I believe does go to the widow/er], will you apologise to her for thinking she is money grabbing?

sorry but i'll never apologise, she waited until my dad received his navy pension, spent thousands on an extension on the house then told him she was sleeping with the next door neighbour!
mumof3

mumof3kids

deedee71 wrote: »

A woman is married to a man for 27 years, perhaps going without so contributions can be made to her husband's pension. Perhaps even at the expense of her own pension?

Who do you think his pension should be payable to? Did your dad leave behind any financially dependant children?

Not sure it's your stepmother who is the money grabber here.

certainly not me being the money grabber, his so called loving wife never put her hand in her pocket once for any of the funeral costs, i was left with the £3,500 bill, not that i wouldn't pay
mumof3

deedee71

mumof3kids wrote: »

certainly not me being the money grabber, his so called loving wife never put her hand in her pocket once for any of the funeral costs, i was left with the £3,500 bill, not that i wouldn't pay
mumof3

Funeral costs come out of the estate I believe, of which you are a beneficiary, not her.

I feel sorry for your stepmother but also for you as your bitterness will only make you even more sad.