Feeling sad - 25 weeks pregnant

Racheldevon

At the sure start children's centre I work at, we run antenatal groups for people. Maybe check out the website for sure start to find your local one - all services are free, and there's often a range of counselling services/family support workers who can be useful to help with offloading/providing you with support to make sure you're taking care of you in all of this.

Perdi

I may have missed it but I don't think you said if you told your midwife all this?

I got in a bit of a state around the same date you did, and my midwife kept a close eye on me - you can get pre-natal depression. Luckily I had a good support network. Maybe your midwife can put you in touch with some good local groups.

Personally, I'd tell your mother some home truths and let her know that if she is going to be that toxic she won't be allowed to do the same to your daughter.

Men often need things spelling out. You said your OH does do nice things for you, just let him know what would really help, tell him in terms of 'I'm struggling with this, please could you help me get through it' rather than criticism and he might surprise you.

Just don't keep it bottled up x

AmandaD28

Ohh bless you turtle (((((hugs)))))

In my first pregnancies with my ex it was like this and I remember being knackered noone ever mentioned my weight though I was massive before i got pregnant anyway ! I was almost 20 st with my youngest DS :eek::eek::eek::eek:

This time around is a whole different ball gameI'm about 5 weeks so very earlier days with a new OH his first and he is amazing he is running around looking after me I came in yesterday from work (and he was going to work on nightshift) and he'd reorganised our hallway the whole house was tidy and he confided in me that he was really geeky and sterilised all of the door handles in the house :rotfl::rotfl:
Bless him

He works full time in a fast paced environmentand never stops when he is at work and I am a nurse working in a unit for people with Disabilities which is fast paced and challenging and I am at risk of being belted one if they don't like what I am saying I work full time there too.

I lost a hell of a lot of weight almost 3yrs ago and I am now a size 12 and I watch what I eat but if I put weight on in this pregnancy like someone else said it will just come off after and this is from someone who now freaks out if a couple of pounds go on !

I'd tell your mother to but out tell her your weight is your concern and will continue to be so after the birth of your baby if she doesnt want a fat daughter tell her if your size upsets her she doesn't need to see you anymore until youve finished your weight loss afterwards I bet that will shut her up and yeah I would blame your rant on the hormones !

Your OH go for a meal together away from home and tell him how you feel I'm betting he probably hasn't even noticed how shattered you are and he will change he sounds happy about the prenancy and particularly with the garden i'd tell him you can't do it in case there is cat poop in it as that is dangerous !

As for your best friend try and get in touch and talk to her I lost my first ever baby to still birth and one of my lasting memories is that everyone disappeared on me people who i thought were close to me stopped talking and involving me in their lives including their pregnancies it hurt like hell and I've never been able to forgive them so please be careful not to cut her out she may not want to be involved and that is fine too but she may want to and if she is cut out she may not forgive you for it have a girly day with her invite her round and pamper yourselves and just see how it goes

Lastly please don't beat yourself up you will make a fantastic mummy and babies don't really care they simply want their needs met we all make mistakes and our children are none the wiser parenthood does not come with a manual unfortunately

Chin up chick take it easy on yourself

xx

Agutka

Hey Turtle, how are things this week? Have you had time to follow any advice? Hope you're feeling better x

Turtle2010

Hello

Things are a little better thanks. Hubby is still as self obsessed as ever (spends all day golfing and complains he's tired, even though i've been working all day and making dinner as he complains!), but he has been pulling his socks up with regards to being a bit more proactive. He's fixed the back step (was crumbling away) done all the little jobs that I had asked him to do before baby arrives and has been reading daddy style websites for tips and ideas. He's also started singing to bump which is really cute.....and he's asked his work for the NCT weekend off, so fingers crossed!

Mum on the other hand is another matter altogether and I have to admit to being a massive wimp. Although the comments are not so direct, they're still there! I overhead her downing my brother the other day in front of family saying his flat is always a tip (it is always immaculate - so he had 2 cups on a draining board - big deal!!) and I jumped to his defence and told her that wasn't fair, especially when he wasn't there to defend himself! Sticking up for myself however i'm not finding so easy!

Hubby is ready to lynch her but I don't want to start WW3, I promised I would sort it and I will....more than likely I will snap at some point! She's not the kind of mum I can sit down and discuss feelings etc with, she dismisses everything as being nonsense. Labour for example, is nothing. PND does not exist (in the 70's they just got on with it) and any talk of lady parts she goes red and changes the subject. I can only imagine my grandma was like that with her, so she doesn't know how to talk to me about these things. It does hurt though.

Anyway.....I also had some girly time with my mates this weekend and it did me the world of good!

Thanks again to everyone for their support and advice, I really appreciate it

Agutka

Yey, so the man is alright, nagging works.

Did you talk to your best mate?

You should write a book about your mum's antics, make her into a caricature and have a good laugh every time she opens her mouth. Stop spending time with her!

Hope the bump is growing nicely! x

My mum is a bit of a dragon, but everyone sees through her within minutes and they take what she says with a pinch of salt. She's fun enough if you want to tear me or anyone else apart :eek: