Any tips on keeping the costs down in a long distance relationship?

andy.m_2 · 2 June 2011 at 9:58AM

A balance of probabilities is just that.

It's like buying a lottery ticket, some see the sense, keep the pound and move one, some do not, they believe that someone has to win it and it just may be them.

OP needs to get over themselves really rather than tirade into all sorts of defensive comments as per previous response getting all high and mighty, this is the internet winkle, you wont like all of it.

lostinrates · 2 June 2011 at 10:16AM

OP, I am in a long distance marriage. For various reasons it works for us. We are a very lving couple and find the weekdays we are apart ''lonely'' but the weekends more than make up for it.

Good phone contracts and skype are essential. We try and be the first person and the last we speak to each day. This sometimes means dh calls me VERY late at night.

re moneyaving its worth noting it was cheaper for dh and I to weekend together when I lived -45 mins from an airport and he flew home from Italy. ATM he uses train, and peak fares are a nightmare but unavoidable usually.

serious_saver · 2 June 2011 at 10:31AM

Are either of you in a situation where you can work from home one day a week. I had some friends who had a LDR for a few years. She lived in London and would 'work from home' every Friday. It meant she could travel on a Thursday night (can be much cheaper than a Friday) and would work from his house during the day on Friday. It also meant they had a bit more time to spend together.

danothy · 2 June 2011 at 12:53PM

andy.m wrote: »

A balance of probabilities is just that.

It's like buying a lottery ticket, some see the sense, keep the pound and move one, some do not, they believe that someone has to win it and it just may be them.

Firstly, as it happens, I don't play the lottery (despite the fact that someone does have to win, as enforced by the organisers should there be a lack of natural winner for a certain amount of time).

Secondly, a relationship, long distance or otherwise, is not like buying a lottery ticket. If you enter relationships to see if you can win something then you have a serious problem in my opinion.

As I said before, a probability is not intrinsically the same as a demographic statistic in it's meaning. The proportion of all relationships that survive is a measured entity (a statistic). If a given couple were to relive their relationship over and over again, each time separately from the last time, it is not likely that couple would have a success rate that conformed to that overall success statistic, unlike the fact that someone playing the lottery over and over would have success a proportion of the time that is determined by the probability of winning.

andy.m wrote: »

OP needs to get over themselves really rather than tirade into all sorts of defensive comments as per previous response getting all high and mighty, this is the internet winkle, you wont like all of it.

Since as this is appears to be getting Ad Hominem I will address this in a trite manner.

I may need to get over my insecurities/concites (and some of them may even be things you perceive in me), but I feel you need to be accepting that your opinion can be challenged first, especially when you give one that is unsolicited, of a nature that has personal implications for who you give it to, and outside of the topic of the thread you give it in.

It seems to me that it is just as high and mighty to assert and opinion on a situation with no consideration to the particular circumstances (in this case that someone end a relationship ubiquitously) and then back it up as if it were justified with an equally non tailored argument when called to account for it.

I don't like everything I find on the internet. You may not either. If you don't like the thought of someone holding you to account, disregarding your credibility or thinking less of you for what you say I suggest you don't say it.

As I said before, it's not your opinion on long distance relationships that bothers me (although I disagree with it and have given my reasons why in relation to your justifications for it) it is that you aimed it at my relationship with no apparent thought or regard for whether it applied, and did so in an instructive way. This is either malicious or lacking in thought, and that is what I don't like.

andy.m_2 · 2 June 2011 at 3:36PM

danothy wrote: »

it is that you aimed it at my relationship

No, no, this is perhaps where the confusion has come from, you are as guilty of not reading the text as you claim I am.

I was saying that all people in a long term relationship should get out, not just you

If it works for you then great, fill your boots

jetta_wales · 2 June 2011 at 4:19PM

andy.m wrote: »

No, no, this is perhaps where the confusion has come from, you are as guilty of not reading the text as you claim I am.

I was saying that all people in a long term relationship should get out, not just you

If it works for you then great, fill your boots

Your experience of a long distance relationship is teens being together and then moving away and trying to hang onto things.

This is a completely different kettle of fish to adults meeting from afar and building their relationship while apart with the aim of it not having to be long distance for too long.

I met my other half (through playing Gears of War on xbox actually lol) and we became close very quickly to the point that soon after we first met we couldn't go more than the weekdays apart and were taking it in turns to travel every weekend (yes quite costly). Six months after that he took the leap and moved across the country to live with me and my two girls and 3 years on from that we own a home together and very very happy indeed.

MariaTo · 2 June 2011 at 4:34PM

maybe you could find out about travel companies who offer loyalty points or something? Good luck.

danothy · 2 June 2011 at 4:38PM

andy.m wrote: »

No, no, this is perhaps where the confusion has come from, you are as guilty of not reading the text as you claim I am.

I was saying that all people in a long term relationship should get out, not just you

If it works for you then great, fill your boots

Your original post in this thread, with the wording I clearly didn't read bolded and the more likely source of the alleged 'confusion':

andy.m wrote: »

give it up now before you become too attached.

As I understand it, peoples opinions regarding relationships (be them long distance or long term as you seem to be extending this too) are formed from their experiences. This leads me to wonder about your experiences as you position seems to be a fairly staunch anti-companionship one with the reasoning you have given thus far being a high risk of lack of success.

Personally I am not so afraid of loss that I feel it is better not to have something in the first place than to have it and risk loosing it, which seems to be your reasoning based on your claims about heartache and infidelity etc.

You also appear to feel so strongly in this way that you have ended up giving me blanket instructions on what to do regarding my relationship (or, as you now suggest, by telling everyone what to do, and therefore by extension me). You then had the cheek to pass judgement on my reaction to this (unsolicited) instruction by telling me to get over myself.

The following still stands:
If you have any money saving tips then please feel free to share them.
If you are that broken up inside that you feel you need to warn everyone else off a relationship then I suggest some serious introspection on your part.
If you are just trolling then I was right about the stupidity/maliciousness on your part.

pinkduvetdiva · 2 June 2011 at 4:47PM

My ex and I each bought a Buffy the Vampire Slayer box set, and would watch the same episode at the same time on our laptops while commenting on MSN about the on-screen action. Obviously the choice of DVD would be up to you and your OH! :rotfl: