Any tips on keeping the costs down in a long distance relationship?

danothy

A pure money saving question about the issues arising from a long distance relationship conducted from two (non-remote) mainland UK cities more than 100 miles apart with a westbound toll road between them

The aim would be to see each other as often as possible in person and to communicate every day. Work sometimes causes me to travel, and currently only I am licensed to drive.

I look forward to any suggestions any of you may have.

Caroline_a

Skype, get 2 webcams. PC to pc it's free, so you can chat to your heart's content. As far as seeing one another though, that's a hard one....

Kittendreich

Book train tickets far in advance for at least a weekend a month so you always know when you will see each other again (and booking in advance keeps costs down). For 100 miles the bus is probably ok - I spent many hours on the Megabus when I first met my now-hubby (again book as far in advance as you can). I also used to travel for work and could sometimes work it to my advantage so that they ended up paying for my weekend travel too (although at no extra cost to them if that makes sense).

Good Luck - it is hard, but possible. We survived nearly 3 years (5 hours apart) and this was before mobiles / skype / webcams were affordable like they are now which I'm sure makes it easier & cheaper.

andy.m_2

give it up now before you become too attached.

lisawood78

No advise on the monetary side of it i'm afraid, but the people saying give it up, why? Just because it is more tricky than seeinh someone who lives up the road? Take a chance in life!
My husband lives 800 miles away, he flies home most weekends, not remotely MSE but it is doable.
Good luck op

Saturnalia

Megabus or National Express - book a few weeks in advance and you can get £1 each way fares. And even at full price the tickets don't cost very much, it's the cheapest way to travel by a long shot.

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Bo_Nidle wrote: »

Perhaps just end it and find someone 1 mile away.

andy.m wrote: »

give it up now before you become too attached.

Well aren't you two joyful this morning!

danothy - Trains - as far in advance as you can ;-) Do either of you drive?

The main question you need to ask is WHAT is going to happen in this LDR? I was in one - 237 miles! and it IS doable. We say each other every other weekend, I'd go down fri and stay till Sunday, sometimes he was able to come back with me Sunday and catch a train on Tuesday when he was off work.

But in our circumstance, we always knew one of us would move (in the end, he moved as I had the house and better job)

Trainline is good - but sometimes check if its cheaper to get a ticket direct OR break the journey up (see martin's tip!)

oo - do the citys have airports that fly to each other? easyjet maybe?

I'd try buses too - sometimes cheaper.

And for those saying give in - I loved my LDR - I got some space and we always made time for each other "special" lol

Nimeth

I have to wholeheartedly disagree with the people advising the OP to give it up!

I was involved in a long distance relationship myself for two years, me in the USA and my OH in Britain. I'm now married to said fella and have been living in Britain for nearly 8 years, so it does work!:D

Skype and a good basic webcam each is probably going to be your best bet for daily communications. Put a little money aside every week/month for tickets/petrol to be able to see each other. This is what I did and my OH did when we had to pay for plane fares (though it was a lot cheaper back then and you obviously don't need to fly:cool:)

Hop on down to the motor section of this site too and ask for advice on cheap train fares, etc. Someone there should be able to give you some helpful tips.

I know you asked for money saving advice, but I would also advise that if you're both determined and are happy with each other, you can make it work if you've got the drive and determination, even if you don't have that much money. Money is no obstacle to love! I wish you all the best.:)

danothy

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

danothy - Trains - as far in advance as you can ;-) Do either of you drive?

The main question you need to ask is WHAT is going to happen in this LDR? I was in one - 237 miles! and it IS doable. We say each other every other weekend, I'd go down fri and stay till Sunday, sometimes he was able to come back with me Sunday and catch a train on Tuesday when he was off work.

But in our circumstance, we always knew one of us would move (in the end, he moved as I had the house and better job)

Trainline is good - but sometimes check if its cheaper to get a ticket direct OR break the journey up (see martin's tip!)

oo - do the citys have airports that fly to each other? easyjet maybe?

I'd try buses too - sometimes cheaper.

And for those saying give in - I loved my LDR - I got some space and we always made time for each other "special" lol

I drive, this is how I've been travelling, she has been travelling by train, although usually only booking a week or so in advance. It's not really far enough to fly to be honest. As for the where it's going thing, I think that is answered below.

Nimeth wrote: »

I know you asked for money saving advice, but I would also advise that if you're both determined and are happy with each other, you can make it work if you've got the drive and determination, even if you don't have that much money. Money is no obstacle to love! I wish you all the best.:)

To be honest it's not like we can't see each other due to financial constraints, it's more work commitments and logistics with our respective home lives that is the limiting factor, but I thought it would be good to apply the MSE philosophy to it anyway seeing as we're starting to talk about saving for a mortgage. (Incidentally, this isn't a new relationship).

Bo_Nidle wrote: »

Perhaps just end it and find someone 1 mile away.

And what if everyone within a mile of me is a munter?

andy.m wrote: »

give it up now before you become too attached.

I suppose the same could be said to you about your life, but that might be considered a vicious thing to say ...

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

"Munter" lol i thought only use midlands folk used that slang :-)

hm . . . Driving is probably going to work out cheaper (well, it did in my case!) - My OH used to pay half my petrol when i went to see him

**confuzzled**

As everyone else has said, plan wayyyyyy in advance if you can. Obviously not practical all the time but try your best
Or you could just move in together now...me & hubby did this 6months into our relationship and it turned out we spent less on the monthly rent than we did going back & forth visiting each other as we never took into account the activities we did, the cost of eating out all on top of the travel.

we rented to begin with as a mortgage for us wasn't viable as you need to be in 3 months employment before you can apply for most so figured we'd rent til I was settled and working in DHs hometown(I moved as he had the better paid job) also gave me an adjustment period, if I'd known I was tied to a mortgage I'd have found it harder but knowing I could up and leave with 4 weeks notice was easier for me to deal with(btw I'm not a needy idiot:p just very close to my family and moving away from them and friends was difficult)