I feel so !!!!!!.. Having a moan.. :(

Darlyd

And unhappy

I am so overweight (like 4-5 stone), I am unable to do healthy eating as I just over eat, and can't help it, I am always hungry, and feel week if I don't eat, I have to have chocolate in my car for work just in case I feel week. (I been tested for diabetes many times, all fine). Only diet I can do to lose weight and not feel hungry on is low carb and meal replacement (such as lipotrim/cambridge). But I get an increase in palpitations, and I have a fear of being rushed to hospital for gall bladder surgery Or something and when in ketosis it's dangerous. urgh

I get constant boils, under my boob's, down sides, inner thighs, and now recently my tummy uchy.

I have rosacia terribly on my face (just red face, and many broken veins), I have cover up foundation on prescription from gp, but it takes ages to put on, and I am still yet to find a good powder to go on top of it as it's very pale. So I been using liquid foundation from boots, been advertised on the tv, lasts a long time, but just covers it does not take the redness away completely.

I love my husband to bits I really do, I would not of moved nearly 300 miles away to be with him, but we never have sex, he has such a low libido, I could walk past in stockings he would just smiles and carry on playing his online games drinking his beer. . I can not change our sofa (this one is so uncomfy) without his permission, and he won't let me, I can't decorate living room as I am not allowed. It's all his own house. I wanted a rescue dog but he getting a puppy, We need to either move to a bigger house or extend as my 12 year old is in tiny room next to us, and he blames that for the reason he don't want sex. Hence me wanting to move out. hmph

My 12 year old is a nightmare child, she disrespects everyone (she is not my husbands), tells teachers where to go, causes trouble in school, out of school, youth club called to not sent her again as she is at it there too, she is racist, untidy, dirty, and is nasty to my husband calling him a c**t, wishes he was dead and buried with his dad (who passed away yr today), she also smashed our front door, where we got police involved to scare her, but it not worked. arghh. We are seeing CAHMS & CAFF for this, can't come quick enough.

I love my job, I love what I do, but pay is so rubbish, and I have to work myself into the ground to even have enough hours to pay for what I need. So I done my training for another company in same field, but I do not have the guts to leave this job as i love everyone and I adore my clients, so been thinking I will tell my present company I will do just 4 calls (2 hours an eve 5-7pm for my regulars i adore) and no weekends, and work alternitive weekends and days with my new company, But I need to find child care for 12.15 (picking little one up from playschool) untill 2pm when I finish day shift. (until DD is in full time school September) As MIL is unreliable as she goes away a lot. Hubby won't help financially with childcare he reckons he does not have it spare.. (liar liar bum is on fire). I won't earn enough to pay for the shift's nursery's offer I would only be working 9.30-11 then 12-2 (would miss from 7am-9.30am as trying to save on child care). I may as wel move out least tax credits would help me, and I could have a career I have always wanted.

Also think I am turning into an alcoholic I am always drinking in the evenings, to aid in sleep, as I just toss and turn, my whole body aches .

God I am so unhappy, and am being horrid to DH, And I just don't want to be here anymore, But don't know if I could cope alone with the kids, I am such a !!!!!. I miss my Mum she is nearly 300 miles away, and she not to good herself, My nan has start of Dementia. urghh I could not move back there though, nothing down there only my close family, never really had friends. And my and my Mum don't really get on, cat and mouse relationship. Left home as soon as I turnt 16, 15 years ago!

OK I think I feel better now. :eek: you now have my life story lol.. Any advice ?

penelopedee_2

Hun, I couldn't read and run - I know exactly how you feel tonight. But its up to you if you want to make any difference (and I mean that in the nicest possible way) x

Try to change one simple thing first. I have awful roseaca acne at the mo (suffer from time to time with it). Get some cream prescribed from the doctors to help clear it up - takes weeks and weeks but it eventually works. Don't chuck loads of gunk on your face, try and find something really light. But to be honest, give yourself a bit of credit and a bit of slack with it. Don't be too harsh on yourself or your face x

With regards to your weight, again take it one step at a time. Try doing one heathly food swap a day and find 5 minutes to do a bit of movement. I walk twice a week with a friend (actually plod to be honest). It does start to show in your skin and in your posture and body and it doesn't take a lot of time or effort.

Be nice to yourself, you are a mum and a wife. Its hard, tiring work. Do something for you each day. Even a coffee out in the garden in the first bit of morning sun can help x

Please don't feel so bad about yourself. You are not the only one who feels like this, I promise .

Meant to add: if you can do a bit to try and feel better about yourself then perhaps the other issues will start to feel less. It might make it easier to see what is really upsetting you. Was going to witter on about 'picking your battles' but I guess you understand what I mean.

Darlyd

penelopedee wrote: »

Hun, I couldn't read and run - I know exactly how you feel tonight. But its up to you if you want to make any difference (and I mean that in the nicest possible way) x

Try to change one simple thing first. I have awful roseaca acne at the mo (suffer from time to time with it). Get some cream prescribed from the doctors to help clear it up - takes weeks and weeks but it eventually works. Don't chuck loads of gunk on your face, try and find something really light. But to be honest, give yourself a bit of credit and a bit of slack with it. Don't be too harsh on yourself or your face x

With regards to your weight, again take it one step at a time. Try doing one heathly food swap a day and find 5 minutes to do a bit of movement. I walk twice a week with a friend (actually plod to be honest). It does start to show in your skin and in your posture and body and it doesn't take a lot of time or effort.

Be nice to yourself, you are a mum and a wife. Its hard, tiring work. Do something for you each day. Even a coffee out in the garden in the first bit of morning sun can help x

Please don't feel so bad about yourself. You are not the only one who feels like this, I promise .

Meant to add: if you can do a bit to try and feel better about yourself then perhaps the other issues will start to feel less. It might make it easier to see what is really upsetting you. Was going to witter on about 'picking your battles' but I guess you understand what I mean.

I don't have the dry skin type roasacia, No need for tablets etc, I think it is mainly broken veins, my Mum and Nan have it too. Doctor referred me to british red cross who tested many foundations till they found the right one, but because it covers my redness it makes my face one color but pale, hence needing to find a powder to make my face a little darker, the ones I have used (collection 5000) blows off after a while. hmph

Exercise I do loads, am forever doing house work and am always on my feet, sweating etc in my job. And I go on the trampoline for atleast half an hour (all I can handle lol) that we waited years for hubby to let us as he going on about it ruining his grass. :eek:

thank you so much for your reply, I feel a little better already, I have so much thinking to do, but I am going to explode (literally). :A

meritaten

darlyd - you have recently had a bereavement havent you? seen it up on pets, I think I posted on it. hun, please stop hating yourself - from what you posted up there you are one hell of a good person! that mirror you are seeing yourself in is distorted - so you are overwieght? many good people are, alcoholic? so? lots of us like a drink in the evenings - do you wake up craving alcohol? NO? then you are probably not an alcoholic!
you have problems yes, but you are not a bad person for having those problems! some of them you cannot do anything about - concentrate on those you can! your OH for a start - ask why you dont seem to turn him on and ask for an honest answer! if its your weight then ask him to start a healthy eating plan with you.
small steps hun - and its ok to grieve for your pet.

penelopedee_2

darlyd - sorry couldn't be much help with the rosacia.

Just wanted to send some hugs cos you sound like you are having a hard time. Take it easy on yourself x

msb5262

Hello OP,

Just wanted to send you my best wishes - you aren't alone. It sounds as if you have lots of issues making life quite difficult at present. You also mentioned that today is the anniversary of the death of your ex.

It's not surprising you are feeling angry, sad and all sorts of other things.

Cut yourself a little slack!

Posting here is a great start to feeling better, making a few changes and taking control. You've done the hardest thing, which is to say you're unhappy. Now it's time to start thinking how you can improve matters.

All the best

MsB

babyb06

darlyd wrote: »

And unhappy

I am so overweight (like 4-5 stone), I am unable to do healthy eating as I just over eat, and can't help it, I am always hungrY

I get constant boils, under my boob's, down sides, inner thighs, and now recently my tummy uchy.

I love my husband to bits I really do, I would not of moved nearly 300 miles away to be with him, but we never have sex, he has such a low libido, I could walk past in stockings he would just smiles

I love my job, I love what I do,
Also think I am turning into an alcoholic I am always drinking in the evenings, to aid in sleep, as I just toss and turn, my whole body aches .

God I am so unhappy, and am being horrid to DH, And I just don't want to be here anymore,
OK I think I feel better now. :eek: you now have my life story lol.. Any advice ?

I read your post and it reminded me so much of me. I have quoted the bits above from your post that resonate with me (I hope it has worked as I am rubbish with quoting!)

I know how low you must be feeling - my wieight really gets me down and I now get joint pains from being overweight, but when I feel rubbish because of these things, I comfort eat. I know I shouldn't but I do and I will have a glass of wine to accompany my snack - more calories!

I am trying to diet, but not got the staying power.

I know this post won't help you and I can't offer advice to you, but just wanted you to know you are not alone! I think some of the earlier posts about one change - be it a food swap or 5 minutes of movement are good (and easy) ideas.

But as you sound so low, maybe for now concentrate on doing something to make you smile - a bath, a dvd - have some you time to relax and focus

Hugs! x

happierdaystocome

OP as others have said small steps will make big diffrences in the end.

There are two way you could approach this at this time A) concentrate on the things you can do something about on your own i.e you weight or discuss how you feel with your OH to see if you can save your relationship.

I would suggest that you discuss your issues re: loosing weight with your GP.

I get quiet red cheeks and use Clinque Redness solution under my normal foundation and this works for me may be you could get a sample off the clinque counter and try this for yourself.

globetraveller

(((()))))
I've just had a sneak at some of your other posts and what a nice person you come across as. You have given a lot of advice to others. Look through your posts- see what I mean. You are so much better than you seem to think you are.
First of all- join something like Slimming World. I think this would be the best diet for you. You can eat loads- especially on the Green Days( if its still the same as when I went!) The best part of SW was the meet once a week. We had a lot of fun and also went out for meals( with the leader who showed what you could eat without going overboard) Some had been members for years, and loved the social aspect so much they couldnt stop coming back!
If you have to have chocolate- have something like a jaffa cake once a day. But wouldn't your complexion be better without chocolate? Not sure- just asking.
You don't portray your OH in a good light. Is that just tonght when you feel so down- or would you say the same thing tomorrow morning? I'm not sure if you are strong enough to tackle that one yet. Or perhaps its what you should tackle first? Others will know much better than me.
Perhaps its time to just put your foot down about one decision your OH seems to think he should be taking.
Its easy to give out advice though- what I've suggested may not be what you think you can do. But you seem such a nice, caring person I just send you positive vibes for your future. Good luck

Outpost

I'm so sorry, sweety.

I really wish I could offer some useful help or advice other than just giving you my best wishes. Somehow you have to get yourself out of the situation, I know that's very easy for me to say but unfortunately only you can do it.

Don't give up hope, things can and do get better.

X X X

gravitytolls

Globe Traveller, rosacea is probably not affected by choc. I suffer with it, I use Rozex and it helps, it really does.

I agree with GT about your other half though ~ not ALLOWED to change the sofa or decorate. His house? Is it really? Surely it's the family home?

Perhaps your physical anxieties are caused by emotional ones.

The weight you can tackle, slimming club, low carbing with medium complex carbs, weight drops off slower, but does go. 30 mins trampolining is loads, well done. Wonder if it's worth a thyroid test as you can't shift the weight, might explain your unhappiness too?

The drinking. who buys it? You? Then buy some delicious fruit juices instead. OH? Ask him to buy delicious fruit juices. If he says no, ask him why and explain your reasons.

Your daughter. Difficult age. How long has she been horrid? Only since you moved? Since you've been with OH? What do her school say about her? Has she always been aggressive? How does OH treat her? Does he talk to her? Or does he leave parenting to you?