What would you do? Pay or not pay ...

Mojisola

JodyBPM wrote: »

In any case, I would have avoided all these doubts at this stage of the game, because I would have been mortified that my child had been involved in the breakage of someone else's glasses, and on the day I heard, I would have rung the other parent to apologise and offer to come to some solution regarding repairing/replacement, and I would have discussed such things as whether they were repairable, the cost of the existing frames etc directly with the childrens parents.

Like others have said, if the glasses had belonged to my child there's no way I would have expected the other parents to pay for them unless their son had deliberately damaged them.

Kids play and things get damaged.

JodyBPM

Mojisola wrote: »

Like others have said, if the glasses had belonged to my child there's no way I would have expected the other parents to pay for them unless their son had deliberately damaged them.

Kids play and things get damaged.

But surely you would have expected them to apologise and perhaps offer?

I appreciate that kids play and things get damaged. But if my child had broken something accidentally or not, I would feel responsible and offer to pay or towards the replacement or repair.

I find it sad that others don't feel this way

Mojisola

JodyBPM wrote: »

I appreciate that kids play and things get damaged. But if my child had broken something accidentally or not, I would feel responsible and offer to pay or towards the replacement or repair.

I find it sad that others don't feel this way

But the OP's son didn't break the other boy's glasses. They were play fighting and the glasses got broken. The glasses may have fallen off and been stepped on by the other boy, for all we know.

peardrops_2

Gosh JodyBPM - you don't think very much of me do you? OK, I'll try and explain the nature of the incident.

I was completely unaware of the incident at the start. My son and other lad had their play fight - the glasses broke in the other lads hand, they weren't dropped, kicked, knocked whilst on is head or anything like that. They play fighted, the glasses slipped off owners head and the arm fell off whilst in the owners hand - witnesses have confirmed this.

The owner of the glasses laughed the incident off and stated that it "doesn't really matter as they are only NHS freebies anyway" also witnessed by others. They then returned to lessons and the owner of the glasses explained he couldn't do his work because his glasses had broken and could he go to the office to ask them to contact his parents.

He then went to the office and they contacted his parents - whether that was to ask for a spare set or just to tell them I don't know.

The following day the owners elder brother started picking on my son - saying "you will pay for those glasses" and "I'm going to get you" sort of accusations and kids being kids, others around him started joining in and my son got very upset and scared. This continued for a couple of days (without me being any the wiser still) until my son started with the "I've got tummy ache" and "I'm too ill for school". We sent him in and he rang me at break time in tears saying he was really ill. I told him to go to the office and I would come and fetch him. A particularly nasty incident had happened at break but I still didn't know this.

That same day the glasses owner's parents had rung the school to say that they weren't happy with the glasses being broken and they wanted "compensation" (their words not mine). My son was then interviewed by the school and a statement taken. The other lad had been interviewed earlier that morning and admitted it was noone's fault and that his glasses were old and free NHS ones anyway.

I arrived at the school and was taken into a room with my son and the teacher and I was informed of the incident that had happened a week or so earlier. My son didn't mention the bullying to me or the teacher at that point, just that the glasses had been broken and he got all upset again. I said that there wasn't a problem, if there was a cost implication I would obviously be prepared to recompense the parents.

I would also like to point out that the teacher would not confirm who the student was that was involved in the incident with my son (due to student confidentiality) so there was no way of me getting any contact information to ring the parents. My son told me the lads name but he didn't know where he lived or anything like that.

We then left and when we got home my son broke down and told me about the bullying with this lads brother. I rang the school again updating them and they took this Year 10 pupil into the office for a chat. My son returned to school 2 days later and nothing more was said about this. I had NO intentions of contacting the parents one way or another after that as I was very upset about their child bullying a lad 3 years younger than him - whether that is right or wrong I don't care to be honest.

Now 3 months later I get a bill for a pair of designer glasses with a snotty note. When I spoke to the school today about it, they were surprised that it had taken them so long to get the student another pair as he has been without glasses for weeks now. They were also surprised that there was a cost implication due to the other pair being NHS freebies.

Regarding you thinking their scam is a silly one - perhaps so, I can't comment on them only what I've been asked.

I hope this goes some way into you thinking that I'm not the scum of the earth - I'm trying my hardest to raise my children in the best way possible way - I'm only human afterall.

JodyBPM

Mojisola wrote: »

But the OP's son didn't break the other boy's glasses. They were play fighting and the glasses got broken. The glasses may have fallen off and been stepped on by the other boy, for all we know.

And they may have been stamped on by OPs son, we don't know.

I can't be bothered to trawl back on the thread, but I believe OP said that the school said it was an equal fault issue. Equal fault = equal responsibility, therefore as a parent I would feel some responsibilty in this situation.

ashleypride

JodyBPM wrote: »

And they may have been stamped on by OPs son, we don't know.

I can't be bothered to trawl back on the thread, but I believe OP said that the school said it was an equal fault issue. Equal fault = equal responsibility, therefore as a parent I would feel some responsibilty in this situation.

I'm sorry but the biggest responsibility here is by the school themselves, by allowing play fighting.

JodyBPM

peardrops wrote: »

Gosh JodyBPM - you don't think very much of me do you? OK, I'll try and explain the nature of the incident.

I was completely unaware of the incident at the start. My son and other lad had their play fight - the glasses broke in the other lads hand, they weren't dropped, kicked, knocked whilst on is head or anything like that. They play fighted, the glasses slipped off owners head and the arm fell off whilst in the owners hand - witnesses have confirmed this.

The owner of the glasses laughed the incident off and stated that it "doesn't really matter as they are only NHS freebies anyway" also witnessed by others. They then returned to lessons and the owner of the glasses explained he couldn't do his work because his glasses had broken and could he go to the office to ask them to contact his parents.

He then went to the office and they contacted his parents - whether that was to ask for a spare set or just to tell them I don't know.

The following day the owners elder brother started picking on my son - saying "you will pay for those glasses" and "I'm going to get you" sort of accusations and kids being kids, others around him started joining in and my son got very upset and scared. This continued for a couple of days (without me being any the wiser still) until my son started with the "I've got tummy ache" and "I'm too ill for school". We sent him in and he rang me at break time in tears saying he was really ill. I told him to go to the office and I would come and fetch him. A particularly nasty incident had happened at break but I still didn't know this.

That same day the glasses owner's parents had rung the school to say that they weren't happy with the glasses being broken and they wanted "compensation" (their words not mine). My son was then interviewed by the school and a statement taken. The other lad had been interviewed earlier that morning and admitted it was noone's fault and that his glasses were old and free NHS ones anyway.

I arrived at the school and was taken into a room with my son and the teacher and I was informed of the incident that had happened a week or so earlier. My son didn't mention the bullying to me or the teacher at that point, just that the glasses had been broken and he got all upset again. I said that there wasn't a problem, if there was a cost implication I would obviously be prepared to recompense the parents.

I would also like to point out that the teacher would not confirm who the student was that was involved in the incident with my son (due to student confidentiality) so there was no way of me getting any contact information to ring the parents. My son told me the lads name but he didn't know where he lived or anything like that.

We then left and when we got home my son broke down and told me about the bullying with this lads brother. I rang the school again updating them and they took this Year 10 pupil into the office for a chat. My son returned to school 2 days later and nothing more was said about this. I had NO intentions of contacting the parents one way or another after that as I was very upset about their child bullying a lad 3 years younger than him - whether that is right or wrong I don't care to be honest.

Now 3 months later I get a bill for a pair of designer glasses with a snotty note. When I spoke to the school today about it, they were surprised that it had taken them so long to get the student another pair as he has been without glasses for weeks now. They were also surprised that there was a cost implication due to the other pair being NHS freebies.

Regarding you thinking their scam is a silly one - perhaps so, I can't comment on them only what I've been asked.

I hope this goes some way into you thinking that I'm not the scum of the earth - I'm trying my hardest to raise my children in the best way possible way - I'm only human afterall.

I don't think that you are the scum of the earth, and I'm sorry if I've made you feel as if I do:(

There is a LOT of information given in the quoted post which hadn't been given before, and I couldn't possibly have been expected to know from what you had posted.

On the face of it, from what you had previously posted in the thread, it seemed to me that the only decent thing for a parent to do would be to ring the other parent to apologise and discuss a repair/ replacement - and I stand by that.

Seriously, if they are scamming you, then they are few sandwiches short of a picnic!

JodyBPM

ashleypride wrote: »

I'm sorry but the biggest responsibility here is by the school themselves, by allowing play fighting.

Actually, I agree with that too!

ashleypride

JodyBPM wrote: »

And they may have been stamped on by OPs son, we don't know.

I can't be bothered to trawl back on the thread,

At least have the common courtesy to read what the OP just wrote before posting. They do know what happened!

JodyBPM

ashleypride wrote: »

At least have the common courtesy to read what the OP just wrote before posting. They do know what happened!

I had read it, I just couldn't be bothered to re-read it to pick out a specific fact. I knew it was equal responsibilty accepted, but not who exactly determined that - a fairly minor point.

Jeez.