What would you do? Pay or not pay ...

peardrops_2

About 2 or 3 months ago I was called into school because my son had got himself into a bit of bother with another lad the same age (both Year 7). They were play fighting and the other lads glasses were broken.

The school questioned both my son and the other pupil and they admitted they were being stupid but there was no malicious act done. They both made a statement to this effect.

The following day the other pupil's Year 10 brother started bullying my son about the glasses saying "you're going to pay for them or else" etc etc and my son got very upset and was genuinely scared, especially when all of the other kids started joining in. A few days later it all blew over and became "old news".

We've had a phone call today from the school to say the other lads parents have sent in an invoice and want us to pay 50% which is £25 towards new glasses. The pupil readily admitted his broken glasses were very old (had since Year 5) had been broken and fixed several times already.

What would you do in these circumstances? Any advice welcomed.

hitatotatus

I would pay. It seems a reasonable amount and will also calm things down at school with your son being taunted.
Even if things are an accident someone has to take responsibility, and in this case it seems the boys were each equally responsible. I teach my son that even though he doesn't mean it, if someone has been hurt he should say sorry. He once spilt a big tub of sweets in a sweet shop all over the floor - I said we would pay for them but the shopkeeper wouldn't take any money, so we popped back with a bunch of flowers for her understanding nature - good karma all round.

the_cat

My first thought is that glasses for children are available without cost via NHS. There are a decent range of frames available nowadays and therefore the parents had the option to replace them without cost to themselves or anyone else. It was their choice to get the more expensive ones so morally I wouldn't feel obligated to pay

However you have to balance that up with the hassle that your son may endure if it all kicks off again. Assuming you can afford to, it may be worth stumping up just for this reason and perhaps taking a (very) small contribution from his pocket money or suchlike to ram home the point about being careful and paying for ones mistakes

onlyroz

Yes, I would pay. They were both fighting and so the "blame" lies 50:50, and so 50% of the replacement cost seems reasonable. The fact that the glasses were old is irrelevant.

pigpen

Having paid £130 for my sons frames and they got broken the 1 occasion he took his games kit.. totoal accident.. someone kicked a ball to him, he has no coordination went to catch it as it hit the side of his head.. it is unlikely the parents were charged to replace them by the optician.. tbh if he had had them 2 years they should have been renewed after 1 year anyway so the chances are he optician refused to fix them and they had to get a new prescription so this would be a routine eye check which should be done yearly...

Again, there are some lovely free frames.. the family chose the ones they knew they would have a charge for which was their decision.

Given that info.. no I would not pay for the child to have his glasses changed when they were long overdue replacing.. though.. it is worth arguing over the £25? I would write into the school explaining why I would not pay.

I'd want to see the new prescription was the same as the old ones.. replacing like for like is one thing replacing a new lot is not.

One of the lovely little yr 1 beasts grabbed the glasses of a little classmates snapped them in half and stamped on them then threw them over the gates into the road... that bill the parents would be getting!!!

Barneysmom

I would pay but I'd ask for a copy of the receipt For My Records.

*Louise*

If the fight was 2-3 months ago....why has it taken them so long to get new glasses for him?

As stated previously, glasses can be free on the NHS. I would be wanting to have a look at the invoice before I paid anything.

Kaz2904

I wouldn't pay it. I would explain to my son that if he wanted to do so then I would allow him to part with his pocket money to pay it but that I would not be paying for his actions out of my money.
I would then let him decide. If the glasses are two years old, they should not be getting repaired agin. There are only so many repairs a pair of glasses can take. That's the reason that free glasses are provided for children. My DD needs a new prescription every time she goes to the optician so there's no way that I would be paying out £50 every six months. That's madness.

Naf

If it was £10 then sure, its worth just to save the hassle. But they've clearly decided to get a very nice new pair for him as they think they can get them for half price; I'd probably refuse on principle that there's no need for them to have spent that amount.

melancholly

i would have said just pay up for an easy life, but 2 to 3 months later?! that's mad. i don't particularly like the fact that the parents are dragging the school into the middle of this - they could have easily enough got hold of your address/phone numbers by other means. if they were just using the school as a way of passing on the letter, why on earth do the school know all the details?

i'd ask the school to pass on the details and make it clear this will be a private arrangement between two sets of parents... they don't need to be in the middle and shouldn't have been put there over this aspect of who pays. then get in touch with the parents directly. keep the school way out of it - i'd imagine it's the last place they want to be anyway. once you've spoken to the parents then judge if they're being reasonable.

balletshoes

I think its very fair to pay half - both the kids were mucking about, it was an accident, but your son was involved. As your son has been picked on by the older brother, do you really want to be going into the whys, wherefores, hows and whos with the kid's family as to the reason for paying £50 for his new specs? By all means ask for a copy of the bill for your records, but I would pay the £25.