Moving in with someone who's in debt???

Carry_Fisher

Hiya

I'm pretty sure you will be financially linked, someone more experienced will be along in a mo who can give you more advice, did not want to read and run.

Drama xxx

dramaqueen1973

Hiya

I'm pretty sure you will be financially linked, someone more experienced will be along in a mo who can give you more advice, did not want to read and run.

Drama xxx

meritaten

well, I am no financial expert - but I dont think credit card debts and loans coupled with mortgage arrears are bad luck - more like bad judgement. I sympathise with being out of work and perhaps falling behind on payments - but do you know exactly how much this man is in arrears? was it ENTIRELY due to the recession or was he racking up debts before that? What I am saying is - was this man in debt BEFORE the work fell off - or after? I think I would be very reluctant to give up my home (yes you can rent it - but if the relationship failed you would have to give tenants reasonable notice) and move in with him.

whitewing

When I was a single parent I would never have moved in with someone with a lot of debt. However, now I am married I can full appreciate the joys of being a 2 parent family. I think it will depend on whether he and you can sit down and have an absolutely honest discussion about his debt, how much it is, exactly how it arose and exactly how you would set up home together. If you get a belief that between you it could be managed (I don't mean you paying any of it, just that it won't get worse, there won't be any deceit, he's got a good grip on it and isn't making excuses) then I think you could go for it. People do make mistake and you would always have to adjust to each other, but I would feel quite optimistic about how motivating it could be for him to have a supportive live in partner and a family to build a future for together, rather than as two single parents getting by.

balletshoes

hmmm - a lot of relationships fail due to money worries. In your shoes I'd be happier to move in together if I thought I could manage the rent/household bills for a while on my own, if my OH was struggling and wasn't working/contributing.

One thing does concern me from your post - if you think you're only going to be able to contribute a little to the rent/mortgage if you all start living together, how is your OH going to manage to pay the rest?

As I understand it, if you have a joint mortgage or any kind of joint bank account in the future, you will be financially linked.

soup

I'd not bother if I was you. He may drag you down with him. He may have his eye on the equity in your house and talk you into selling it. Either way, put your own kids first. 6 in one house will be a warzone.

Any

Address does not affect your credit rating. Having financial products together link you though! So no joint accounts etc and you are safe.

thefishdude

his credit wont effect you in any way at all just by living with him, it will only effect you if you get a joint mortgage or joint bank account then you are financially linked. just lving at same address has no effect

pigpen

Could he not also get a part/full time job so he would be contributing more financially? that would make a big difference to your incomes.

Could either of you claim maintenance for the respective children.. I am just thinking if you don't already a litle more income wouldn't go amiss!

I would give it 6-12 months and see how his debt is coming on and how focussed he is with the new training etc and reassess it then.. I know it is hard. I would also keep everything financial separate for the sake of your home. The rent from that is also seen as income to some extent, I don't think it is all taken into account though I may well be mistaken.. so would have to be considered.

Yes I would move in with him.. in a few months time when I have seen the debt reducing and him making a concerted effort to get rid of it and put the family needs first.. his and yours!

diable

Stay as you are as your children come first.

dark_lady

An ex of mine many years ago wanted me to move in with him but i refused. Not just because he was in debt but because he refused to discuss it. I asked him how long it would take him to pay off. He just kept shrugging his shoulders and saying he didnt know and he refused to show me any paperwork. I found out he didnt have contents insurance and he said he would sort it. By this time we had been dating for six weeks so it was too soon for me to move in anyway as far as i was concerned. Then a couple of weeks later he said he had insured the contents of his council flat. I still said i wanted to wait before moving in and he did get a bit stroppy cos i wouldnt move in straighaway.
He said he was paying for the contents insurance by the insurance man calling at his sisters to get the money.
Later that summer i went to a family barbecue with him and got talking to his sister. She was going away for a month so i asked her what she wanted her bro to do about the contents insurance.SHE DIDNT KNOW WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT. I wasnt happy about being lied to and decieved and after this and other incidents i knew i would be used and disrespected even more if i stayed with him so i ended it.