advice

spider125

I really need some advice here from you guys, basiclly my MIL has just passed away, my husbands brother is next of kin but they havent spoken for years, we attended funeral and left, can he legally disposs of his mothers possessions without our knowledge? dont know if there is a will, can he give treassured possessions to his children? ie jewelrry no property involved as was sheltered housing, we were treated with no respect at the funeral and no mention !! I feel very angry regarding this and my husband is now saying he wants nothing thats the end of it but surely he has some rights his mothers laast words to him " dont let him bully you or push you around" i also beleive she had organised and paid for her funeral many years ago

shellsuit

If your husband wants that to be an end of it, you should respect his wishes.

If there is a will and your husband is named, he will get what is due to him.

spider125

He has said that as he has no fight left, we have 4 daughters 7 grandchildren and live 150 miles away, visited when we could ( he is also disabled) telephoned twice a week, his brother has 2 children, sister in law is warden to sheltered housing where she lived so had access to all her affairs,I know my MIl would want my husband to get what he is entitled to

CH27

If there is a Will your husband will get what he is entitled to.
The Solicitor will contact your husband.

NAR

I have to agree with shellsuit. Your husband is grieving and you are trying to push him into taking action that he has no particular desire to do. I know you are doing it for the right reasons, you want to make sure he gets what he is entitled to, but surely it has to be your husband's decision.

spider125

thanks for comments he has now decided to put it in my hands, had time to think about things he now realises this is not what his mum would want, but where do I start!? is it worth speaking to the funeral director?? tried phoning his brother but no answer? can I complain about the warden ?just so many questions and little answers

melancholly

i don't know what he can legally do but it would make him a really nasty person to get rid of possessions and take everything of personal value for his family without considering that you'd want something to remember her by.

shellsuit

What would you be complaining about the warden for?

If there was nothing to complain about before your MIL died, what could there possibly be to complain about now that she has died?

Funeral director wouldn't be able to tell you or do anything I don't think ~ they've done their job now.

What exactly is it you want?

If there was a will, you should find that out soon enough.

spider125

shellsuit wrote: »

What would you be complaining about the warden for?

If there was nothing to complain about before your MIL died, what could there possibly be to complain about now that she has died?

Funeral director wouldn't be able to tell you or do anything I don't think ~ they've done their job now.

What exactly is it you want?

If there was a will, you should find that out soon enough.

not to go into too much detail we were told the wrong time for service, no offer of accomadation ( guest room availabel) no where to freshen up after 3 1/2 drive, we had to go to local supermaket to wash freshen up, made to stand outside the unit, verbally abused do i need to put more! is that how other people are treated! I have in the past witnessed them listening in to residents units,

BitterAndTwisted

Honestly, in my opinion there's nothing to be achieved but a lot of heartache, resentment and disappointment by getting involved in this situation. I'd be tempted to keep a dignified silence about it and get on with my life. Poisonous people have a tendency to poison and bring out the very worst in all those round them and for no other reason than that I'd stay well away.

spider125

we never made a fuss whilst MIL was alive as she was a resident and her life would have been made hell, what we have seen in 17 years has not been nice, but we kept silent, residents have left because of her, she was being paid to look after her own MIL but all she did was complain that we didnt do enough! we live 3 1/2 hours away so to visit in a day ( which we did regulary) was was a 7 hour round trip!!! I dont drive so OH has to drive and he reg disabled ( COPD) can you see why I am angry !!! I would do anything to have my MIL back