OH has just walked out

themull1

My husband left me in January. We had been together 13 years, its much better now!! I'm not saying its easy, but there's no arguments.!

make_me_wise

Sadme wrote: »

We had a row and a while later he came down with a backpack and basically said if there's any more of this I'm off. After a few more words he walked out.

This has been a pattern of his during all the time we've been together, I think he expects me to run after him (which in the early days I did) to reassure him I love him (which I do, very much).

I don't have close friends as he didn't like me spending time with them, so cyber space is really my place for venting and discussing how I feel.

You dont have close friends because your OH doesn't like you spending time with them? What is that all about? He takes you for granted and packs a ruck sack when things dont go his way and walks out. Expecting you to run behind him like some desperate, loyal wife and beg for him to come home.

Stop crying over him love. He sounds controlling, selfish and self obsessed. Id be thinking very carefully how you want to handle things when he comes back. How much more of this kind of crap can you really put up with?

WASHER

MrsE wrote: »

Sadme, I've got much the same going on, except I asked my husband to leave nearly 2 weeks ago. Doesn't make it any easier, I'm still gutted & my heart aches.
Don't let him treat you like an idiot. If he wants to come back you make him work for your marriage.

:grouphug:Hugs Mrs E.x.

dundeedoll_2

make_me_wise wrote: »

You dont have close friends because your OH doesn't like you spending time with them? What is that all about? He takes you for granted and packs a ruck sack when things dont go his way and walks out. Expecting you to run behind him like some desperate, loyal wife and beg for him to come home.

Stop crying over him love. He sounds controlling, selfish and self obsessed. Id be thinking very carefully how you want to handle things when he comes back. How much more of this kind of crap can you really put up with?

I don't think we need to make you wise at all

Spot on post!

Yes, it's initially a HUGE shock and maybe difficult for the 1st few months but it does sound as if you would be so much happier without him.

WASHER wrote: »

:grouphug:Hugs Mrs E.x.

For sadme and Mrs E

LilacPixie

OP If he wants to come back then he must work to save your marriage.

zoesmummy_2006

hun my ex was exactly like that- we had 2 small children and a huge labrador that moulted for britain and he moaned constantly that the house was never tidy, but he never did anything to help, he created as much mess as the kids at times. He'd come home, his tea would be ready most nights, then i'd have to wash up, get the kids bathed and into bed, then come down and tidy up whatever they'd had out-the ex was generally either asleep on our bed after 'pretending' he was helping with the kids, or asleep/sat on the sofa. But i put up with it for the kids-til he decided that i wasnt enough and walked out.

He tried to make out that it was all my fault, that i never did enough etc etc, but i realise different now. Me, im happy on my own for now, whereas the ex went from one girl to the next within 2 days, he cant be on his own cos he cant do it all on his own. yet he's now in the situation he was as his girlfriend is pregnant. He wousd love to come back, i know that for a fact as he asked me to try again when i served him with divorce papers (oh boy was that sweet lol), but i refuse to go back and be treated that way again-nobody deserves to live life like that. i look back now and realise that i wasnt happy, and numerous times i thought i'd be better off on my own cos i was basically a single parent, but couldnt do it to the kids and my marriage vows were important to me. Now its about making me happy, me and my kids.

Huge hugs hun xxxxx

Sadme_2

Thanks for all the support and positive suggestions. He arrived back after a couple of hours, said not a word and went upstairs. Sulked for the rest of the evening and quite frankly didn't have the energy to start a discussion.

Wanted to wait until I was calmer and could discuss this without getting uptight. There are going to be changes though - I simply can't go on like this any longer.

Thanks again for all your help.

seabright

Let us know how you get, keep posting here to vent & get support.

diable

My GF's ex did this years ago, after two weeks he said he had made a mistake and wanted to come back, she said "No" and that was it and this was about 8 years ago but then again she is strong willed and sticks to any decision that she makes.

CH27

Sadme wrote: »

Thanks for all the support and positive suggestions. He arrived back after a couple of hours, said not a word and went upstairs. Sulked for the rest of the evening and quite frankly didn't have the energy to start a discussion.

Wanted to wait until I was calmer and could discuss this without getting uptight. There are going to be changes though - I simply can't go on like this any longer.

Thanks again for all your help.

Well done for not running after him.

Let him sulk. He has to start behaving like an adult.