mum's saying she will top herself....

anguk

My OH also take a lot of medication and insulin, he's happy to take everything but would forget if I wasn't there reminding him! I bought a weekly pill container and once a week I make up all his medication for the week so he just has to open the pot each morning and take the lot (plus this way I can see if he's taken it). Also every mealtime I ask him if he's had his insulin.

My OH has an annual review at the GP for his medication, does your mum's GP not do that? It's complicated with my OH because he also sees various consultants at the hospital who change medication.

I don't mean to be harsh but it sounds like your mum is more self-pitying than depressed. My MIL was a bit like that, she spent all her time talking about how hard her life was looking after FIL, even complete strangers got her life story! Then when FIL died it's as though she decided she wanted all the attention now, she took to her chair and just expected everyone to run about after her and visit every day.

I'm sorry I can't offer any advice and I don't really know what you can do to help her. Unfortunately I think some people actually enjoy wallowing in their own self-pity, especially if it makes them the centre of attention and everyone else's lives have to revolve around them.

patchwork_cat

The chemists will make up dosette boxes (weekly pill contaner as described by Ang) for some people. Worth asking if they will do it. It is important that she takes her medication as no doubt she has been informed poorly controlled diabetes has devastating consequences. If you really think your mother might kill herself ring the crisis team. Severe pain can be very debilitating mentally, if she took her meds the pain might improve and so might her mood.

It really is vitally important that she takes her drugs, I can not stress this enough it may turn her life around.

Would she qualify for a carer?

make_me_wise

CH27 wrote: »

You've defo made the right decision about your daughter.

Try ringing the GP & asking to speak to the Practice Manager.
Explain your concerns & ask for their advice.

Good luck. You are in a horrid situation.

I completely agree with this. Unfortunately her gp surgery wont discuss her medical condition with you but they should be made aware of what is happening. Maybe a community nurse from the practice could arrange a visit to discuss things with your mum. Her condition can only worsen if she is taking her medication in such an erratic manner.

Huge hugs to you OP, I could sense the unbearable strain you must be under whilst reading your post.

scooby088

I can understand where you are coming from all the stress of you mother is wearing you out, i would put your own family first and leave your dad to take of his wife, i know how it feels when someone has got depression it can drag you down with it. My uncle is clinically depressed and everytime i come away from his flat i feel like crap. My only option was to not go down for a while and then when i did go down just limit the amount of time i stayed there.

lizzywig

Sounds to me like you just need a rant and know exactly what you're talking about! As I was reading your email I was coming to certain conclusions which you came to later on in your post - e.g. the psyciatrist being more of a friend.

My husbands mother died in 2009, she had bipolar, depression, diabetis, ceoliacs, spinabifida and a long list of other things. She was hugely unwell and in the end discharged herself from a mental hospital and never came back. Sometimes when we went to stay at her house she would keep us up all night saying she wanted to die. Once we took her to hosptial at 3am because we were so concerned - the hospital did nothing. She like so many others stopped taking her medication, it's a huge factor and unfortunately you can't make someone take it. His mother was 46 when she died and there was still helping her until it was too late - but your mum is stuck in her ways.

From what you have said I think she's used to this routine, I think a lot of it is genuine feeling but I also think she's used to being like this. The least you can do is call the doctors surgery and if they won't talk to you then ask for advice, perhaps even your own doctor could offer some advice. I would also try calling 'Mind' and seeing if they can offer any advice. I agree that she should see another psyciatrist and perhaps that's something that Mind can help with. However, by the sound of it getting your mum to agree will be a challenge in itself.

I would just like to add that I can't imagine her GP advising so loosing what medication she should take to end things. I imagine if they were going to do that it would be a much more official process - although I am not a professional. I think perhaps this could be more of a wishfull thought on your mothers part and perhaps it's attention seeking...

elff

Just had calls from2 aunts and my dad this morning - my mum has convinced people that there is a problem with me at the moment and she is really worried.... I think this comes from me not visiting her yesterday and saying that she couldn't have my daughter after school today.....

I love the fact everyone is 'worried' about me... but no one bothers to visit or offer to take the twins for a couple of hours

With hubby's support i have decided just to concentrate on my own little family for the time being, obviousley this is made tricky as my brother really enjoys seeing the kids but he will have to make do with phone calls for now(i wouldn't put it past my mum to ask his care home to refuse me contact - not sure if she can do this?). I hate how my family can make me feel and to be frank am better of staying away from them for my own mental health.

Off to enjoy the sunshine with my boys and forget about all these issue's will dirvert mobi and home tel to answerphone for a while as well then i dont have to listen i can just press the delete button:)

Thankyou for the support it really does help!

1more?

hi elff
my mother has bipolar and i have had to step away from her before i ended up ill & before my children started to think that the way nan is was normal
my mother is the most selfish, bitter, jelous 46yr old i know so when she threatens to harm herself i know she wont shes to selfish shes going to out live us all

some people wont understand why you need space from your mother but tough, a friend of mine once told me after seeing my mothers behaviour that she used to think i was awful for not helping out or bowing down to her every demand but that she was thinking of her own mum who would never behave like mine !
hope you are ok its a hard choice to make but it will be better for you & your children in the long run
xx

whitewing

Sounds like your husband is a good 'un.

I totally agree with your stepping away from your mum for the moment. I am doing the same from my parents and feel so much better for it. They have to learn their are consequences to their behaviour and they should be treating family the best, not the worse of everyone they encounter.

margaretclare

elff wrote: »

Just had calls from 2 aunts and my dad this morning - my mum has convinced people that there is a problem with me at the moment and she is really worried.... I think this comes from me not visiting her yesterday and saying that she couldn't have my daughter after school today.....

I love the fact everyone is 'worried' about me... but no one bothers to visit or offer to take the twins for a couple of hours

With hubby's support i have decided just to concentrate on my own little family for the time being, obviously this is made tricky as my brother really enjoys seeing the kids but he will have to make do with phone calls for now(i wouldn't put it past my mum to ask his care home to refuse me contact - not sure if she can do this?). I hate how my family can make me feel and to be frank am better of staying away from them for my own mental health.

Off to enjoy the sunshine with my boys and forget about all these issue's will divert mobi and home tel to answerphone for a while as well then i don't have to listen i can just press the delete button:)

Thank you for the support it really does help!

I think you've made the right decision.

Amazing how you get these very selfish attention-seeking emotionally-blackmailing people who manage to make everyone's life a misery. By not taking her prescribed medications your mum is shortening her life whether she intends to or not!

I love the fact everyone is 'worried' about me... but no one bothers to visit or offer to take the twins for a couple of hours

I had to smile wryly at this. It reminds me of when DH was in Critical Care in the autumn of 2008 fighting septicaemia and almost died. Arriving home in the evening and just wanting to put my feet up and watch some silly mindless TV to relax, I had his bro on the phone saying in sepulchral death-bed tones 'I'm concerned about you...how are you coping?' If he had been all that concerned he would have got his a**e over here and at least visited the hospital, and maybe done something practical for me such as seeing I got a meal - tended to forget about eating at a time like that. I'm afraid I gave him short shrift on the phone and he didn't try it again.

nicolax

with regards to the insulin injections. not taking that is very serious as im sure you know (type 1 im guessing). my mums diabetic too and once she wasnt taking her insulin (not purposefully, the glass tube of insulin has cracked without us knowing so she was injecting but wasnt going in) and it will only take a couple of days before its a serious situation and youll have ambulances involved