let down by family again

CH27

p_joker wrote: »

thanks for your replies, maybe I'm just to touchy. My dad always wants to support us in anyway he can but my husbands family all seem to be out for them self. When we go round his mums with the kids she after a time starts packing up the kids toys and makes it clear its time for us to go, she said she would have our boys one saturday when we were both working and my husband put something on facebook about me being ill and she didn't ask if I was o.k she just said make sure you tell me if i still have to have the kids, that's another thing we have 2 sons and she wont have them both over to stay the night she will only offer to have 1.

Count yourself lucky she will have them overnight at all.

shy-but-need-help

I think he should have applied for the job anyway, although the manager may have automatically discounted him because of his relationship to his brother. With how hard work is to find these days though he shouldn't let someone else put him off applying.

As everyone else said families are odd things- my family are close but yet my sister is still very much the person who'd throw others out of a life raft to save herself and not think twice. My husbands family fluctuate, his parents are definitely not the same type as mine and that was really bewildering to me when we first got together, parents that didn't expect to be part of everything we did, mine are wonderful but a tad overbaring at times. (MIL puts herself first after their father left when DH was 7 and his father they speak but he will only acknowledge my 2 sil's kids and not ours... not sure what it is about me that doesn't match with his family but "meh" - I don't miss having to be nice to him and the kids probably wouldn't recognise him if they tripped over him in the street) his sisters are fiercely close to him though because of the fact their parents were so bad at raising them they learnt to stick together and both his sisters see him as head of the family. They're the type of family I could call at 3am and they'd be here... I get sad sometimes my own sister and I aren't that close but it's just how she is- everything is a competition with her.

I think part of marrying into another family is accepting they probably won't work like your own.

We not operate on the system where we do everything ourselves, provide everything for ourselves without borrowing off anyone and that we ask for nothing- that way we don't owe anyone anything and can't be made to feel guilty when they want to make someone else feel bad.

p_joker

CH27 wrote: »

Count yourself lucky she will have them overnight at all.

she wont tho thats my point she will have my eldest but not my youngest never has and he's 2 now and will only have him in the day time if i need help when im at work

Kimberley82

p_joker wrote: »

she wont tho thats my point she will have my eldest but not my youngest never has and he's 2 now and will only have him in the day time if i need help when im at work

she does have them then, just not when you want, they are your children, your responsibility. You sound very entitled. Grandparents do not have to have their grandchildren over night, sounds like you want everyone to do everything for you.

You want gran to let you live in her house, brother to get your OH a job, and MIL to have your children over night.

pigpen

p_joker wrote: »

she wont tho thats my point she will have my eldest but not my youngest never has and he's 2 now and will only have him in the day time if i need help when im at work

In that case.. count yourself lucky she wants either of them ever.. noone has ever volunteered to look after mine.. in any quantity or at any age.. though I can understand most people not wanting all 9 lol.. but noone wants any of them.. and my mother would rather chew off her own limbs and stab herself in the eyeballs than look after 1 of them.. she had DD1 once 15 years ago.. for about an hour while I took DS2 for a hospital appointment..

and why should they? They are my children I had them therefore I look after them.

CH27

p_joker wrote: »

she wont tho thats my point she will have my eldest but not my youngest never has and he's 2 now and will only have him in the day time if i need help when im at work

Why should she have both?
They are your children. You look after them.

Any help you get is a bonus not a right.

CH27

pigpen wrote: »

In that case.. count yourself lucky she wants either of them ever.. noone has ever volunteered to look after mine.. in any quantity or at any age.. though I can understand most people not wanting all 9 lol.. but noone wants any of them.. and my mother would rather chew off her own limbs and stab herself in the eyeballs than look after 1 of them.. she had DD1 once 15 years ago.. for about an hour while I took DS2 for a hospital appointment..

and why should they? They are my children I had them therefore I look after them.

Nine?:eek:

pigpen

CH27 wrote: »

Nine?:eek:

pmsl... and a half! lol

CH27

pigpen wrote: »

pmsl... and a half! lol

wow:eek:

What are their ages?

pigpen

CH27 wrote: »

wow:eek:

What are their ages?

19, 17, 15, 13, 12, 10, 8, 6 and 9 months

And we are now way off topic...