living with someone who would have to contribute more financially

catkins

74jax wrote: »

If money is joint, how do you buy each other presents? or surprise them? I'm taking my OH to Rome in a few weeks as a surprise for our 6th anniversary, there's no way he wouldn't spot a grand or two missing from 'our' account..

My OH rarely checks our account - it's me that pays bills etc and I check the bank account online every day. If I saw a large amount gone from the account as long as we were in credit I would not worry or ask about it and that way if it were for some sort of present/suprise for me he would not have to tell me about it or make an excuse about the money. The same if he were to check the account and saw an amount "missing".

I agree that obviously it is what suits a couple best just find it a bit odd to have separate accounts. I personally could not bothered with looking after more than one account and I like the fact that any money either of us earns is "our money".

I now don't work and would hate to have to ask OH for money.

My parents in law were married for nearly 60 years and so many times I heard conversations between them along the lines of "I paid for the milk but you paid for xxx so you/I owe £xxx". I just could not cope with that sort of arrangement and to me it does not seem like a marriage

lostinrates

Mojisola wrote: »

Personally, I'm glad we went down the joint money route because my poor health has seriously affected my earning ability. If we'd chosen another route, I'd be broke all the time!

This is my situation too.

Our choice has always been to have joint money (all savings and income, and outgoings) belong to both of us, but we arrange this to include our own accounts.

This makes it easier to budget for us...for lots of reasons. e.g. DH is a higher tax earner where as I am not. It would be harder to make sure I' not paying to much tax and he's paying enough if we monitor accounts separately (it would be possible with joint but we find this easier). similarly at one point before we bought, we had a large deposit we wanted in the bank with whom we were going to take a mortgage out with (for reasons of expedience). By have separate savings we were less at risk of bank difficulties by going over ''safe'' threshholds while we held all our savings in one institution for a short time.

when_will_it_end

thanks for all the responces

he is coming over for dinner tomorrow so im going to have a chat

from reading i think what may be best for us is what i suggested in my last post, a joint account that more than covers bills ect... also leaving extra for things that may need replacing or even a holiday

when i was married many moons ago we had one account, a joint one, but as i have a child i still feel that i need to be supporting her rather than my OH, i have never and never will have any kind of finacial or emotional suport from DD dad, OH is fantastic with her and the cats...lol

maybe our first investment may be a big bed with an even bigger duvet

whilst im scared i am also quite excited about fully sharing my life with someone again, some i trust, some one who has also become my best friend (i hope my female best friend does not see this...lol)

if the arrangement does not work we can review it, he is easy going, so i know that hopefully we will not let finances try to cause a huge problem as i know it does in some relationships

he does treat me occasionally, buys me little inexpencive gift, im hoping that will not stop, its nice

thanks all

ska_lover

Ahh I am glad you are sorted with this, when will it end. The joint account thing seems the best way to go.

It has been an interesting read, seeing how other couples run their finances.

Hope all goes well with you and your man