bezman wrote: »
This is my first post on this forum, apologies if I speak out of turn.
As a mental health patient thats been dipping in and out of hospital stays for the last 20 odd years I feel qualified to throw my opinion into the debate.
Stop bringing the gifts. Take something cheap and simple like a newspaper or a packet of his favourite biscuits. The cd's,slippers etc will always go missing. Either due to theft or your son genuinely losing them. The gifts offer a very brief temporary distraction, what really counts and makes a difference are your visits. These provide him with love, one-to-one attention and a valued break from the monotony / routine of a mental health unit. These visits will do far more to aid his recovery than a cd. This has always been the case for me and the vast majority of my fellow patients.
Just be there for him as a loving non-judgemental stable figure and he will get through this.
I wish him all the best.
annie123 wrote: »
Savings are there for, amongst other things, emergencies and what you have at the moment is an emergency.
If it were you in the hospital you wouldn't want your husband saying, "I'm sorry I cant visit you or buy you little things, those savings are for emergencies/holidays etc and you're not worth more than them" would you?
bobthedambuilder wrote: »
This topic rang so many bells for me. 5 years ago, our daughter, then 17, was badly injured in a car accident, and was rushed to hospital in a coma with serious head injuries as well as other physical injuries. When she came out of the coma (after about 3 weeks) she could do nothing - could not recognise us, move, eat, talk, read, walk etc. Only through intensive therapy and rehabilitation over an 8 month period was she able to partially recover some of her facilities and leave hospital (for which we are eternally grateful to the medical staff).
During that period my wife and I visited her every day, often twice a day, travelling 30miles each way. Her mental condition during much of that period was that she had lost all of her learned behaviour, had no memory, short-term or otherwise, and was in many respects an infant and then child again. She frequently lost things and demanded others, and she absolutely depended on our presence for any peace of mind at all, or to make sense of what she was going through. I can well imagine a similar situation for patients having suffered mental breakdowns.
So my response to the dilemma is this - time and money should not be a factor you should consider cutting back on. You have to do all that you can for your loved ones. Yes, take the precautions suggested by others here, but don't stint on the visits or support. In the long run, it will be worth it.
the_leg_end wrote: »
what should you do?
how about have the grace to leave your husband so he can find someone with some decency?
a forty mile round trip is nothing for a hospital visit for a son who is mentally ill and slippers are not extras!
let's hope you are never ill in hospital and looking forward to one ray of sunshine a day in the form of a visit from a close relative.
utterly utterly selfish to a ridiculous degree you should be ashamed of yourself !
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