Breastfeeding and Peer Pressure

pigpen

threemuttleys wrote: »

I have a 7month old, and I am still breast feeding, I got a lot of "when are you going to stop" "formula is easier" blah blah...great response to that is "opinions are like !!!!!!!s, everyone has one"

IMHO I dont see how ff is easier that bf (purely because I am lazy) boobs dont need sterilising, measuring, cooled boiled water, dont get forgotten, nor do they go off if you dont put them in the fridge

You don't have to back home in time for the next feed, there is zero initial outlay it doesn't take up room in your fridge, cupboards or worksurfaces, and you don't spill it all over the floor and self when getting lids off and on, it doesn't spill in your bag.

BF are (supposedly!!) less possetty reducing laundry, have fewer digestive disturbances such as colic.. but Gosh is it tying!!! I just want to go out and get hammered.. but the baby wouldn't approve!!! lol

And as the laziest person on the planet I am all out for an easy life so FF is out of the question.. maybe your friends also need a LOT more educating!

I'd go find some new friends (in addition to these) who supported me and didn't question or judge me.

meritaten

You carry on breastfeeding hun! Formula feeding ISNT easier, in fact its a faff! I would be avoiding these judgemental jealous people from now on! I wouldnt dream of telling someone else how to raise their child!

ailuro2

I fed my DD till she was 9 months old, even though I went back to work when she was 3 1/2 months ( different maternity leave back then)

It was great to be able to feed her by lifting her over me in the middle of the night, then giving her a wee cuddle before putting her back to her cot...or letting her sleep next to me if DH was on nightshift.

Bottles are a pita, one more thing to sterilise which means more work for the parents.

Tell your "friends" to leave you alone, that you'll be feeding her until she is old enough to feed herself / go to school / you've reached your target weight / you can afford to shell out for expensive formula / whatever excuse you fancy.

Good on you for breastfeeding, there are plenty of overdefensive Mums out there willing to feel persecuted because didn't breastfeed - perhaps they feel they could have made more of an effort or just didn't fancy their baby suckling and are scared to admit it - BFing doesn't work for everyone, but it's amazing how you'll get to know which women it's not going to work for even before they have the baby.;) My heart goes out to people who it didn't work for, but there are others who latch on to that as an excuse ( pardon the pun!) for not doing it themselves.

mwa

It sounds to me like they are feeling guilty about giving up and want you to give up to make themselves feel better. In my experience pregnancy and bringing up children brings out this kind of weird behaviour and one-upmanship with women, I have been guilty of this type of behaviour myself I will admit!! Now mine are a bit older I have a bit more perspective but at the time 4 of us had babies close together and this sort of thing was rife.

Stick to your guns, you will never ever regret breastfeeding your baby for however long you do it for!

Miss_Ladybird

I was going to say like freebiequeenie (?) could you find a breastfeeding cafe/ group nearby? They have one at our local children's centre and it is nice to meet other people who are bf-ing. Your friends sound v rude!!

My little boy is 6 months next week and only just starting on solids, and healthy and happy as can be! I was aiming for 6 months breastfeeding but now it is so easy I am carrying on (but need to start some formula too as going back to work when he is 9 months and expressing doesn't work for me)

Stick to your guns!

msb5262

Hello OP,

Another one here to say you've had great advice ^^^!

It would be interesting to know if anyone ever says, "I really regret breastfeeding," because I have often heard people say, "I really regret NOT breastfeeding."...

You're obviously doing a brilliant job. Don't let other people hurt you - I'm afraid they are probably jealous. I breastfed each of mine for a year and don't regret it for a second.

HTH

MsB

sarahevie

I had a bit of this with my first, many who started as 'breast feeding fanatics' then changing to say combination feeding.

I breastfed DD1 til 14 months, first 6 exclusively.

DD2 currently 10 months, still breastfeeding though not as much as DD1 did at same age, but exclusively for first six months.

I don't regret it and would recommend it:D

Zenoka

All of mine have been breastfed and quite a few of my friends gave up too easily on it and went onto formula. The thing is for some, BF is a real challenge and they dont always gets the support that they need.

Just carry on as you are safe in the knowledge that you are doing what is best for baby, and just as importantly what you choose to do, not what your firends tell you.

Zingarakj

You're doing really well, and don't listen to anyone who tells you otherwise! With a 7 week old baby you're bound to be tired, they're pretty much a 24 hr/7 days a week job to start with!

Recent research suggests that breast feeding mothers get more useful sleep than either mixed feeding or formula feeding mothers, due to the fact that they produce hormones to get themselves back to sleep quicker and that they need to wake up less to pick baby up and feed it, compared with having to bottle feed a baby.

And breast feeding gets easier as time goes on, with instant food available to your baby at all times, no preparation necessary.

With dd1 we did the traditional puree led weaning as we hadn't heard of any other way. But with ds1 who is now 14 months old, we did baby led weaning at around 6 months (gave him fruit and veg finger food to play with at meal times earlier than that so he could eat when he was ready). I read a book on it I borrowed from the local children's centre called "Baby Led Weaning" that made total sense and gave me the confidence to try it. And it is/was so much easier for us than the purree way. He's been eating family meals all the time, so no extra preparation.

As for your friends, does your area have any breast feeding support groups you could go to, to be with like-minded people? Maybe your children's centre or health visitors could point you in the right direction. At least that way you would broaden your group of friends.

As for nutrition, your baby is getting the perfect food for him/her, and also protection of your immune system. And if offered food at around 6 months will eat what she/he needs (sorry for he/she thing, can't remember what you put in your post - I blame it on being a mum!).

I have done a fair amount of training being a volunteer peer supporter, and it's pretty amazing what is being learnt about breastfeeding and breast milk. When I had ds1 (my 2nd child) I again really struggled with pain and tiredness whilst breastfeeding in those 1st few weeks, but everything I learnt meant I had to get through it, and I had great support and discovered he had tongue tie!! Personally I find those 1st few weeks (and even months) really tough with the sleep deprivation and resulting tiredness!

Breast feeding or not, seems to be as risky a subject to discuss as religion or politics! In fact I'm a bit apprehensive about posting in case I unintentionally offend anyone, especially telling people I do voluntary breast feeding peer supporting. I'm obviously pro-breastfeeding, but I understand how difficult it can be and the barriers we face (many of them social).

As to being a Mum, now I've had my 2nd child, it's easier as I'm more relaxed and know a bit more what I'm doing. But I do remember the whole first time mum thing of who's baby is sleeping through the night, sitting, crawling, walking 1st (which I no doubt contributed to). I think sometimes Mums need reassurance they're doing it right, so get a bit competitive at times, and want others to do what they're doing to reinforce their choices. Your friends probably aren't trying to pressurise you intentionally, but in their minds they've made their decisions and think everyone else would be better making the same decisions.

Wishing you all the best, and hope you can expand your friendship group so you can get some positive support. I didn't have any friends with children the same age, so have made loads more through our breastfeeding group and other toddler groups. And it can be a bit daunting to start with, getting to know new people, especially when feeling so tired, but most mums are in the same boat!

Savvy_Sue

pigpen wrote: »

BF are (supposedly!!) less possetty reducing laundry,

well I wish someone had told DS1 that! :rotfl: He was the pukiest baby on the planet ...