Breastfeeding and Peer Pressure

shellsuit

If it works for you, stick with it.

As for your friends, just tell them you don't have a problem and won't be stopping on their say so.

FatVonD

I had exactly the same problem, people regularly complain about how those that can't breast feed are made to feel guilty by all the 'breast is best' stuff but it's rarely mentioned how much pressure breast feeding mums get to stop :mad:

My 'friends' (for friends read friends I made in the ante natal group) seemed quite happy for me to breast feed up until 3 months but after that it was like I was doing something indecent. Every single time I breast fed *someone* would ask me when I was going to stop (my mum was actually the worst.) I used to say when he was one but when I got to his first birthday, he was still happy and I was still happy i realised the only reason I was even considering stopping was to appease people that were uncomfortable with it and just thought 'stuff you' and carried on.

It still makes me quite angry to think of all the pressure, not once did I even think to suggest that *their* babies weren't getting the right nutrients or that the smell of their bottle-fed babies s*it could clear a room or that my DS seemed to be the only one that didn't have nappy rash or excema yet they seemed to think they had some right to comment on my decision :mad:

Stick with it, it might not be for everyone but your baby is clearly thriving on it

daska

I came in for a lot of pressure to give up BF DS2 because I have ME and, obviously, being exhausted before you even start isn't great. My 'wanting' to BF for all the right reasons wasn't good enough for them. Eventually I said "yes, you're right, I would be less tired, but I'm also at risk of developing diabetes and research shows that BF may reduce that, so I'm going to stick with it". It did help my case that he wouldn't take a bottle (or a dummy, or a finger). He eventually agreed to take a bottle at about 9 months and by that time I was quite glad to reduce the workload.

WeBeBroke

I had the same attitude from my mum and MIL. They didn't even like to to be in the same room as me when I BF - just walked out in disgust! My mum kept saying my son looked underweight etc. etc. but he was fine, he's just a skinny min and still is 7 years later. Was never an issue with my second as he was a big babba! (although skinny now due to his extreme busyness!)

You're going to have to contend this throughout your child's life. Well-meaning but annoying people will constantly tell you how to do what for your child, it doesn't end here unfortunately;). You've still got weaning, potty training, discipline, rules etc. etc. all to go:p

So it's good practice to just learn to fend them off, say this is the way that suits you and your lifestyle etc.
Personally I felt lucky to be able to breastfeed - especially at night as it was so much easier. I learnt to bf lying down with my boys as we had a bedside cot. Sometimes I would actually fall asleep and wake hours later to find he'd latched on again all by himself and was happily feeding...:o

puddy

the words 'shut up' need to exit your mouth and enter their ears

Alleycat

Another one wholeheartedly agreeing with everyone on this thread. It is surprising how much pressure there can be to stop breastfeeding. The slightest mention of tiredness or problems seem to be met with so many people suggesting formula as the only option.

New mums are tired regardless of how they are feeing, it's natural to be when you're not getting much sleep and having to contend with all those hormones settling down. Just because you are breastfeeding, doesn't mean you are not allowed to be tired. I felt that with my friends (none of whom had breastfed for more than a month or so) the only support I got was suggestions on switching to formula. Sometimes I just fancied a moan, which we are all entitled to.

I haven't got any suggestions on how to deal with I'm afraid as I just ended up avoiding those sorts of conversations with them and 'appearing' fine and happy even when I was ready to drop or burst into tears.

Just remember that you are doing a fantastic job for your little bubba and he sounds like he's absolutely thriving on your lovely mummy milk.

fannyanna

I'm not a Mum but I think it's such a shame that women are presured either way. I think it's outrageous for Mum's not comfortable breastfeeding to be made to feel guilty or inadequate. I find it ironic that breastfeeding Mum's are also pressured.

I wonder whether your friends are a bit jealous. I'm sure they've been made to feel bad for not breastfeeding at some point and perhaps seeing you happily breasfeeding is bringing out a bit of the green eyed monster.

Ultimately you need to do what is best for you and your baby. If you're content with what you're doing then you carry on with what you're doing. You're clearly doing a sterling job x

onlyroz

If it's all going fine, you're not in any pain and the baby is gaining weight at the right rate then why stop? I'd have a few words with your friends and tell then that it's none of their business.

CL

Sounds like they are feeling guilty at their decision and seeing you reminds them of this, so you stopping BF would make them feel better about themselves. Tough luck for them. I'm BF my LO who is nearly 6 months and am a little bit proud of it. My DH says thank you to me at least once a week for giving our daughter the best start although I find it inconvenient and have done every night feed for the whole 6 months.

Just smile and say "I'm happy giving my baby the best possible start, thanks". They will soon shut up.

ETA: People ask me all the time when I am going to stop BF, but I have never once taken it that they are suggesting I should stop. I thought they were asking because they don't have any experience of BF and are genuinely curious as to how long people BF for.

brians_daughter

Tell them to do one! I had my dd 9 weeks ago and i could not bf due to medication i take. I feel /felt sad that i cant bf like i did the boys, but i would never suggest to anyone that the way they are choosing to feed their child is 'wrong'.

How would they like it if you started telling them you disapproved of their choice to ff? They would be in uproar!

I know how hard bf can be, and i take my hat off to you!

A lot of it is jealousy (imo) when i bf ds2 til he was 6 months old i got lots of negative (ish) comments the best one was 'ooohhh, you will regret bf'ing when you have saggy knockers and have to have a boob lift' i sh*t you not!

Well done you! And well done on being able to express and donate - what a wonderful gift to give someone!