Breastfeeding and Peer Pressure

**Rosie**

Hello everybody, long time reader first time poster

I had my baby girl 7 weeks ago and have been happily breastfeeding ever since. I am expressing milk for days out and can produce 5oz in 15 mins, so am in full flow hubby does feeds on Fri/Sat nights and when I have a nice long bubble bath (not often!!) I also donate extra frozen milk to my local milk bank for a lady with breast cancer so she can feed her premature baby.

The issue is not with peer pressure to feed - quite the opposite.

I have three friends who have all given birth within two weeks of me. All started to breast feed but all have since given up as they were finding it painful, or they found it inconvenient. That's their choice and I would never judge.

But they are pressurising me into using breast milk replacement feed whenever I mention I am tired, suggesting my daughter isn't getting enough nutrients from breast milk and I can get my husband to do night feeds. But my husband has a full time stressful job so I'd never ask him to do that (I'm on mat leave from the same job, we work in the same office).

It's getting to the point where I don't want to meet up with my friends, they are trying to be helpful but I've said repeatedly I prefer to breast feed and I get the impression they are almost trying to get me to stop just because they did. My health visitor says I am doing well and baby is 11lbs at 7 weeks which is a good weight. My friend is feeding her 3 month old baby porridge but I don't want to go to solids until 6 months, again she is telling me my baby wont be nourished on milk alone and to give her rusks. I am getting really confused now as I am only doing what I think best and I am starting to doubt myself.

Life *is* hard and I am tired but surely formula feeds are just as tiring at night? Am I doing the right thing standing my ground?

pigpen

Do you think you are doing the right thing????

Say to them..

'I did not tell you to stop. I like feeding my baby, I like knowing she is thriving on my milk. Now I would appreciate it if you would by happy with your decision and let me be happy with mine. I support you in your decision to give formula and you should support me in my decision to breastfeed'

blue_monkey_2

Only you know your baby, this is just the start. For the rest of your life you will meet people who will be telling you they can do things better, longer, more nutitious, how you should try organic, natural, omit meat, go veggie, not give this that or the other ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, etc....

Just smile, nod and say you'll give it a try. Then say you have but the baby didn't like it and you missed the closeness of BF.

They'll never know and it'll shut them up.

I fed mine from 14 weeks on solids because I just knew the time was right for them and they needed more than just milk. But my friends did not. It is all about how YOU feel. In 7 weeks time you might feel your baby is ready for more but your baby is only 7 weeks, not 4 months - that is a long way off yet.

This is the start of a very long road to the playground - it only gets worse there, LOL, believe it or not your friends are breaking you in gently.

Enjoy your baby and that time with you BF, they grow up so fast and one day will not sit there for long enough while you want to feed and it makes you feel a little sad when they do, but it's just the next step.

Tropez

You have no reason to doubt yourself. You're doing things the way nature intended for you to do them. There's plenty of positive evidence that breastfeeding is better than the alternatives. If you ever have any questions about your baby's nutritious requirements then you can always ask a local health worker. You shouldn't feel pressured by your friends, and in fact, your friends should not even be commenting on the way you're going about things.

**confuzzled**

Do what PP said!
babies are absolutely fine on breastmilk alone! Your baby will be getting the nutrients she needs as you will produce the exact amounts for her, your friends who are now formula feeding can't do that!

you can express 5oz in 15mins???:cool: go you:D:T:T

Of course its hard, anything worth doing isn't easy, if baby is still waking at night times for feeding then bfing is the easier option, you can just whack 'em on;) no faffing with bottles and formula and remembering to sterilise it all before going to bed etc etc I waited til DD was sleeping through the night before switching her onto formula and I only switched her because she wasn't gaining enough weight and was too nosy to feed for long, felt like she was permanently attached for weeks and it was mentally draining for me:o but once she was on formula I really missed bfing....you can't win either way:p
So long as your happy to breastfeed and neither of you are suffering then carry on:D

peachyprice

Oh just tell them to bog off.

There's isn't a right way or wrong way, there is the way YOU feel comfortable with.

LittleMissMPB

11lb at 7 weeks is a great weight!! My little man at 10weeks was 10lb 7 and we are breastfeeding too.

I get the same sort of pressure but not just from friends, from family too. I have chosen to just be proud of what I'm doing, enjoy the special time and you could always say that she doesn't take bottles very well? Even if she does... (well it sounds like she does with the expressed milk). I just tell people I'm too lazy to bottlefeed lol, too much hassle cleaning and sterilising bottles each morning and evening, preparing feeds, waiting for them to cool down/warm up while you have a crying baby. Getting out of bed at night. So much easier when you can just breastfeeding whenever, wherever you are, no real preparation needed aside from a feeding bra/top if you want

So just be proud of what you are doing. You are doing what is best for your baby, not what is best for other peoples babies. They are doing what's best for them. It's an individual choice at the end of the day. I decided to be proud and not care what others think after we managed to carry on breastfeeding through a tongue tie (which was snipped), which meant my son had a shallow latch, causing lots of pain (there was blood... not pretty) and at one point I had a problem with supply, none of these issues were helped by my family who would tell me to give him a bottle, apparently it would help him settle quicker, it would give me a break... I think some people just don't understand.

ETA - breastmilk is all most babies need until they are 6months old. If particularly hungry before then, then you can start weaning but not before 4 months as their little bodies just may not be up to breaking down the food properly before then.

whitewing

Keep up with the bf. I couldn't bf, but I understand now that milk production is linked in to seratonin levels so that may be why. It may be that your friends don't understand that you do genuinely find it pretty easy. Your 'tired' but happy, may be different to their tired and fraught.

We didn't do solids for 6 months and I'm pleased that we chose not to. I wanted to follow current advice even though I know that 'current advice' may only be best efforts at the time. I felt it was right for us now, and it fitted in with what we were doing.

OrkneyStar

Are they perhaps secretly envious of how well you are doing (which you are by the way!) ?
Tell them, nicely, that you are happy with your feeding choices, and if you ever need advice in the future about formula feeding you know where to come!
Some times breastfeeding can be draining, but it is also such a positive thing to do, so why should anyone try to deprive you of that ?
I breastfed, and although I am not anti-formula feeding, I would encourage you to continue as long as you feel happy about it!

ellay864

Your baby...you do it your way and ignore them. Like you said, they may feel slightly guilty that they gave up...especially now they'll allegedly put their child at risk of behavioural problems lol
I breastfed both of mine and loved it...aside from the convenience and the health benefits I just loved that closeness. Back then we were encouraged to get them on solids around 3 months starting with baby rice but I fed both of mine to 6 months at least. And that was despite issues with reflux and my milk supply reducing (later I was told I could have had a blood text to show that was really happening instead of being told I was imagining it!!)
You carry on with what you're happy doing and if it means standing up to your friends and asking them to stop trying to pressurise you then so be it. This time doesn't last that long - I'd savour every moment of it while you're enjoying it

MadDogWoman_2

I agree with all the above, could you go to a local bf support group then you get to chat with lots of like minded mums?

How you feed your baby is nobody elses business, ignore them. You're happy baby is happy so carry on.

My favourite time of day for feeds was nighttimes, it was just me and dd having a lovely cuddle whilst the rest of the world slept - I got annoyed if DH woke and intruded.