Should I charge DS rent?

PolishBigSpender

Why would you charge him rent if you don't need this money? It's your son, after all.

sueeve

Things balance out over the years. I had one daughter leave school at 16 and straight to work, so she made a small payment to household. I think I let her off the first month to buy clothes suitable for formal work. The 2nd daughter, A levels at independent school and uni. But I mad it clear to number one from the start that if she decided to go back to education the support would be there. I think that was the most important thing to make clear. Then we were able to help her when she wanted a mortgage, with a gift to up the deposit so that she could manage house instead of flat. This was 10 years later. Never had any grumble from either that it was unfair. Different offspring need different help at different times.

bluenoseam

No i wouldn't. He's going for an apprenticeship, which as you rightly point out will incur some costs, but if he's only bringing home apprentice's wages the chances are he will be spending a chunk of those wages on said "costs", i know this is going to sound soft & not to taste, but once you add on travel, lunch & work gear he'll be lucky to have anything left for himself with the price of things these days. If he was going to university as opposed to going for an apprenticeship you wouldn't ask yourself this question when the reality is he's going to earn a trade out of this, making it every bit as important if not MORE important than going to Uni where he'd build up thousands in fees/loans etc for a chance at a qualification & possibly a better job out of it.

Once he's fully trained & working for real, then i feel it would be fair to broach the subject, until then he should be considered as a student.

Mojisola

I would feel uncomfortable during uni vacations when one son could be paying housekeeping and the other living at home for free.

We've been in this situation and gave the non-uni son the extra years of living for free at home but he is a great saver and also does his share of household jobs. If he was spending up to his income, I might have considered taking housekeeping off him.

LondonDiva

Charge him a third - £30 and increasing with his income.

Don't save it for himm unless you fell the need occasionally. He's not a guest, he's family and so needs to know that he should pay his way at all times, whatever his income.

Ignore the posts about not being fair,a son at uni and another bringing in £100 a month are two different things - if he doesn't have the maturity to understand that, you need to have a conversation.

sammatty

I was in the same boat as your son, when I started a modern apprenticeship.

I was charged board, but given that my parents were in a similar comfortable position as you, my mother saved the board in a savings account for me. 4 years later on, when moving out for the first time, the amount that was saved up was match by my parents and I got a very nice (and unexpected) cheque to help me the costs of buying and furnishing a house.

May kill two birds with one stone, helps your son to learn the value of money, whilst also allowing you to provide the same sort of financial support your other son at University will be getting from you.

Claire_Bear

Have you asked the son who is going to uni what he thinks? Just to add a bit of personal experience, my brother went to uni a year before me, after the 3 years he returned to live with our parents. He had a decent job and was earning. While I was in third year of uni and my brother was living at home he was paying a minimal amount of housekeeping to my mam, think it was about £30 per month, yet he complained about why he had to pay rent if he was living at home :eek: It was infuriating for me because although I was happy to be supporting myself and pretty much financially dependent (I still got money gifts from my parents as a treat once in a while), I was paying about £350 per month rent, plus food shopping and bills, plus I had to do all my own washing etc, and my brother was whinging about a measly £30 to live in a lovely house, supplied with food and heating and electricity for free, and have his washing etc done for him :mad: So if you don't charge your DS rent/housekeeping, will the son at uni learn to resent it? How is your son's attitude to doing his own housework etc?

Chakani

Who will be paying rent and bills for the son at uni? Will he be paying them himself (as most students do) either by working or from loans that he will have to pay back later? Or will you be subsidising his living costs? I would say that whatever you are doing for one should be the same for the other - after all, they are both working hard to build their futures, just in different ways.

the_cat

Chakani wrote: »

Who will be paying rent and bills for the son at uni? Will he be paying them himself (as most students do) either by working or from loans that he will have to pay back later? Or will you be subsidising his living costs? I would say that whatever you are doing for one should be the same for the other - after all, they are both working hard to build their futures, just in different ways.

Not got quite that far in the prep yet! DS2 is only 14 atm (although nearly 15) I would guess if our circumstances remain broadly as they are now, he will have to take out all the loans/work etc available to him but that we would help him out with day to day money (and obv he would live at home expense free between terms). They also both have a fund we have built up over the years designated for 'the future' which they can use for uni costs/house deposit etc dependant on their life choices - the same amount for each of them

I guess it all boils down to whether DS1 will save for his own future or not. We wouldn't keep any rent money long term whilst we can afford not to, although it may help for him not to know that and to think that he is taking responsibility for paying his way a bit.

I like the idea of not charging either of them properly (and keeping it) until they are the same age. I might officially charge them both from the age of errrrr 21? Good/bad idea??

Money_maker

How about having this discussion with both of your boys? They may well have points of their own to raise.