Should I charge DS rent?

bagginslover

Once I'd left school, and was working (supermarket wages) I was expected to contribute to the household finacially. It was never called 'rent', instaed Mum called it 'house keeping' and it went towards my food, washing, and other general round the house stuff, which mum still did for me. I paid £30 a week to begin with (though I was on about double your DS's pay at the time), and as my wages went up, so did my house keeping. It wasn't much, but it helped Mum and Dad out (they actually saved up my money for their holidays!), and I never resented giving it.

Mojisola

In your situation it's more difficult because of one son starting work and the other possibly going to uni. If you're going to financially support the son who wants to go to uni for another three or four years, it seems a bit mean to take money off the one who has started work.

To even things up, I would be tempted to give the apprentice another three years of support on condition that a proportion of his money is saved each week. It would also be worth having some discussions with both of them about how much it costs to run a household - do a break-down of all the household bills and let them see how much you're paying out.

I would also expect them to do their share of the household chores, as they would have to if they were in a flat-share with other people - not "Put out the bins for Mum" but "Our mess, we all clean up".

Darlyd

Yes defo charge him £20 a week for "housekeeping". Could you possibly match that out of your own pocket? SO when it comes to him buying his own home/renting etc then he could end up having a great lump sum at the end of it? As you will be helping your younger son with uni, it would only be fair. At the end of the third yr you could have 8k there?

Lunar_Eclipse

It's up to you.

Personally I wouldn't, but I would expect him to save a fixed amount/percentage of his income to save for a home of his own. If I thought he could be trusted to do this without intervention, I'd let him get on with it. If not, I'd charge him rent which I put aside for him. £40/week is my suggestion, I would happily carry on feeding him. Really depends on how responsible, grateful and nice to have around he was tbh.

onlyroz

I would charge him a rent of (e.g.) 25% of his income. If you don't need the money then maybe you could save it up and give it to him as (e.g.) a wedding present in a few years.

pigpen

I'd charge him £20-£25... as others have said he needs to realise it costs money to be a 'grown up' and there are responsibilities.. He will still eat and wash and cook and want to be warm and it doesn't come free!

Lunar_Eclipse

The more I've thought about this, the harder I think it will be to treat both your sons fairly, unless you plan to offer them both the same amount of financial support for the same length of time. Presumably, supporting one child through 3 years of university is much more expensive than offering the other free board and lodgings at home for the same duration?

The son that goes to university also theoretically has a higher earning power for life than your eldest. Not something that will necessarily pan out in reality or that you can or should attempt to balance out, just highlighting how tricky this is.

jamsandwhich

My OH's first job was a YTS in the late eighties on £35 a week - his Mum charged him £10 rent a week, he saved £10 himself, ran a car and still managed to go out with his mates - he is as [STRIKE]tight[/STRIKE] good at saving now as he was then:rotfl:

He did get it all back when we bought our first house though as his Mum had been keeping it in her savings account bless her:)

If he is paying his own travel expenses I would take him shopping and let him start learning about the cost of food and maybe contribute monthly to the family grocery bill - this is something your other son will have to do in uni and I think rather than just take money gives them a sense of how it all works too. Also leave strategically placed phone/utility bills in view!!!

the_cat

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

The more I've thought about this, the harder I think it will be to treat both your sons fairly, unless you plan to offer them both the same amount of financial support for the same length of time. Presumably, supporting one child through 3 years of university is much more expensive than offering the other free board and lodgings at home for the same duration?

The son that goes to university also theoretically has a higher earning power for life than your eldest. Not something that will necessarily pan out in reality or that you can or should attempt to balance out, just highlighting how tricky this is.

Exactly what I have been going over in my head, round and round in circles! Plus on the flip side, the son in uni will have a huge debt by the end of it (we can help but not afford to fund the whole lot:eek:) and there is no guarantee he will even get a job. DS1 might get further ahead by working anyway and will be able to save over those 3-4 years out of his wages. I am fully aware that it is a problem I'm very lucky to have though. Just sometimes the more choices you have, the harder a decision is to make.........

Thanks to all who have responded so far. Keep 'em coming, I'm far from decided yet!

pinkclouds

He's your son, living in the family home. Personally, I would not charge him "rent". However, I would expect him to save a good amount of his meagre wages for his future benefit, when he eventually leaves home. (Do you present your family and friends with a hotel bill when they come to visit you?)

If you needed some contribution due to personal circumstances then I think it should be explained to him as family pulling together and making individual contributions to supporting the family as a whole. Or, the very least, call it something pleasanter and less emotive like "housekeeping". Rent is a commercial charge that you pay to a landlord - it just doesn't sound right for your mom to treat you as a business customer. Maybe it's just semantics but it sounds horrid.