Should I charge DS rent?

the_cat

Quick background...... DS1 finishing A levels and now wanting to get an apprenticeship to start working life (1st interview next week - fingers crossed!)

He will obv only be getting around the £100 per week and will have some travel expenses. He is a sensible lad with money and is likely to save for himself out of that

If we were struggling it would be an easy decision, but thanks to a small mortgage, we are comfortably off. His younger brother will almost certainly want to go to uni, so will be financially dependant on us for longer

So do I charge rent? I'm struggling because if he had decided to go to uni, we would happily have helped him. It feels like we would be unfair to charge him from a training wage because he would, in effect, have had less help from us than his brother. My overriding feeling has always been to treat them the same and show no favouritism

All opinions gratefully received!
Thanks

Norman_Castle

Should I charge DS rent?

What is DS ?

Winnie_in_Pooh

Perhaps instead of charging rent get him to do something that he would have to do for himself if he'd gone to uni, like buy his own food, pay electric bill etc? Then both brothers are getting the "same" treatment IYSWIM?

the_cat

Norman_Castle wrote: »

What is DS ?

Dear/darling/dratted Son (delete as appropriate!:D)

martinthebandit

Yes, definitely. It will let him know what its like in the real world.

What you do with it is a different matter, if you don't need it put it away in a bank and then when it comes round to him deciding to getting a mortgage it will be a welcome help to his deposit.

jetta_wales

I would charge him rent maybe £20 a week just for the sake of learning responsibility and his brother will be having to learn a lot of money skills in uni too with budgeting for food plus partying out of money that's not much more than enough for food :-)

If you feel that financially you are having to contribute much less Tobin than his brother then save the £25 a week that he gives you if you don't really need it anyway and if it's a 3 year apprenticeship then by the end you'll have nearly £4k to buy him his first car maybe instead.

No guilt because the other brother knows he's costing you a lot more anyway and at the end of the day it was his money you saved.

money_saving_diva

Ds = dear son

I think if I were you I would wait until he was trained and in a 'proper job'. An apprenticeship is training so I would wait until he is out of education/training. I think he should be expected to do practical stuff around the house though if he doesn't already - like his own washing etc to help the household.

cabbage

DS = Darling Son

I would charge him rent. I know where you are coming from but you don't do your kids any favours by protecting them financially. He needs to know that things cost money and you are preparing him for when he leaves home. I charged my son a nominal rent of £20 per month when he was an £80 per week apprentice. I saved the money and if he had any emergencies like his car broke down or needed expensive repairs I would "lend him" a lump sum from the money I saved and he would pay it back in instalments - if you know what I mean. Basically it was his money that I lending back to him.

He had a teenage strop when he was earning £12k and I put it up to £100 per month after about a year of earning - prior to that it was £20 pcm.

Another good lesson is to encourage him to save. If he can, he can save the same amount he spends each month. Getting into a good saving habit is a must even if its £10 per month. Lots of banks/building societies do great rates for monthly savers.

When my DS moved out aged 20 into his own place he was still shocked how much everything costs. It was a real eye opener and I think if I didn't charge him board it would have been an even bigger shock.

nikki1520

Yes, I would charge him rent -maybe £20 a week. However, if you dont need the money, then save it for him, but don't tell him.

Then when he comes to move out/buy a house/buy a car etc, look at the lovely surprise you'll be able to give - help with a deposit etc.

I think it's vital that youngsters learn early to pay their own way. While £20 a week certainly doesn't cover the costs of keeping him, it will get him used to paying a regular bill.

Like you say, he's a sensible lad, so hopefully he'll appreciate that what he gives you doesn't even cover the cost of his food, let alone the in house washing/ironing/cooking service you no doubt provide - it's all about the principle.

That's my tuppence ha'penny anyway! Good luck

clairec79

Ds - darling son

I would likely take a small amount off him, even if it was to put into an account for him to have later.
Alternatively is there something you currently pay for him (ie car insurance/phone) which you wouldn't automatically pay for him brother due to difference in their needs and give him the choice of you continuing to pay that and him pay rent or he stay rent free and pay that himself.

Treating your children equally doesn't automatically mean treating them the same

Mupette

Yes charge him, the sooner he learns what it is like in the real world the better.

It has already been said if you don't need the money put it in savings for him for when he leaves home etc