I don't know what to do..( about OH)

sassyblue

Hi mum, sorry to read your post. It all boils down to one thing....

Do you want to put up with this forever?

Because if you don't you need to let hubby clearly know you WON'T put up with this and things have to change. If he's unwilling to do so then you know what you have to do.

What's making you stay is what your children will think if you leave and l agree he's using your worry about leaving to make you stay. Firstly can you have a quiet word and see what your daughter thinks? Can you trust her to keep that conversation away from hubby? You might find she's behind you, we were with our mum but she never found the courage to leave.

Sorry to be blunt but your hubby sounds like a spoilt brat, if you decide to stay then you need to put him in his place, sink to his level if necessary - everytime he starts say 'oh dear have you got your periods again?'

Padstow

So he dotes on the youngest one now. What I've noticed about controlling men is that is the case with their young children.
However once the child shows any sign of independence, it becomes a different scenario altogether. I predict he will treat that child later exactly as he does your daughter now, as his control will be threatened.

Having just recently divorced, I can tell you that getting out is a lot easier in your present situation than if you marry.

teabag29

You might wanna sign in as your new username chick, think you've accidently used your other one x

Darlyd

Hmmm For one I think you know what you want to do but are scared, I think you should give samartins a ring, they are so helpful. Don't worry about being on your own, your not really going to be on your own as you have your children. You need to be happy, and your kids need to be happy, when your little one grows up she will pick up on the animosity. Ask him to move out, it's your home. And never put him or any other man on your lease!

Good luck with what ever you decide. xx

Mojisola

Don't your older children come home to stay during the holidays?

Sadlonelymum

Mojisola wrote: »

Don't your older children come home to stay during the holidays?

Yes, the middle one quite often. They actually get on pretty well, as middle child is turning out to be a bit of a high flyer, works hard etc, and so my OH respects them more...although he did complain like mad over easter that we'd be eaten out of house and home... yet MChild only stayed here 4 days!
Both the ones who are at Uni have said they think it's good we are still together, as it means theor little brother won't grow up without a father like they did.:huh:

Sadlonelymum

teabag29 wrote: »

You might wanna sign in as your new username chick, think you've accidently used your other one x

Thank you... having a dim moment there!

Sadlonelymum

Mojisola wrote: »

Added to this - are you in your own home? If you marry and then split up, he will have rights to a share of the property.

Yes, we rent from HA, and it's in my name x

Sadlonelymum

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

It is interesting that your other children have left home already - in these economic times the majority of kids are hanging around at home for as long as possible. Did yours feel they had to move out?



.

no, they went to Uni x

pearl123

Do you think he wants to push your older children out of the picture?

"I asked him to stop picking at me, stop moaning about everything, as he moans a lot bout little things, a sock found on the carpet, the lawn needs mowing, I bought something without asking...and I said it has to stop." Do you know I've got a man like this at home -a 50's man. Find your voice - if he not happy about something (picking/nagging/bullying)- then tell him he should fix it himself.

I'd have told him if he wanted the lawn mowed - he should get the mower out himself. And so on. Everytime you think he's treating you unfairly or like as servant - tell him to do it himself. Unless he frightens you - don't be a pushover.
You need to be frank with you partner - he probably would not welcome it. But I don't think texting him is going to bring about radical changes in your relationship.

He is not your parent, so he should stop telling you what to do. Unless you are very timid - find your voice.

Above all, keep your older children firmly in the picture. Don't let them be pushed out.