Husband coming for money

lilab_2

My husband walked out on me after 14 years of marriage in mid December last year.

When we first got together I was about to separate from my first husband with whom I had two children.

My first husband and I divorced fairly amicably and I the house was signed over into my name and I was granted a fair maintenance. I also got a job to pay for a few extras. ( I had worked previously but not for the two years prior to divorce)

Before my second husband to be moved in with me I asked him if he had any debt. He said he owed about £200 on credit cards. I asked him to pay it off before he moved in.

I later found out that he hadn't paid it off and that he had a bank loan which he didn't tell me about. My maintenance payments had been worked out on the household bills with nothing extra. Therefore within a year, I had to sell the house. As the equity in the house belonged to me, I felt it right and proper that husband number 2 who I shall call S, be responsible for the payments of a £60k mortgage which we took out in joint names.

Within a 3 years he was sacked from his job. He got bits and pieces here and there but no secure work. I by this time was running a small business, although not earning a great deal in take home pay. We had one holiday which I paid for.

We soon had the mortgage company phoning to say he hadn't made the payments, so I took charge of making them from my bank account. I also was paying (and have ever since) all the bills, utillities, food etc. I even gave him my car which I paid £8k for. It was written off in an accident and he received the insurance cheque. He bought a replacement for £350. I don't know what happened to the rest.

Soon more phone calls were coming to the house. One day I found piles of bills and discovered that he owed about £25k in credit card bills and was robbing Peter to pay Paul.

He made an arrangement to pay the credit card companies a certain amount each month. However, I then discovered that he had taken out loans and that his total debt was actually about £40k.

I decided that we needed to move home so we put the house up for sale and I bought a house in my name only with no mortgage. This freed up some cash as well to pay some debt off. He continued to pay more off and had secured a fairly well paid job.

After two years in our new home he lost his job again. However, he soon got another one. For the last year of living with me, he gave me about £1000 per month to help with bills etc, Last June I told him that he had to stop his spending, it appeared to me that he had a problem which he couldn't control.

By August I discovered that he had started to see other women. He told me that he didn't want to live with me anymore. I put the house on the market and we agreed that he would stay with me until the house was sold as it made economic sense.

He, however decided to move out. Without telling me, he rented a flat and hired a car to move out his belongings.

He has made no contribution to the household at all since then. The house is in my name.

I told him that I have a buyer for my property and today he has phoned demanding money. He tells me that he is entitled to half of the property and the furniture. He tells me that I can get a mortgage. (Which of course I can't as both my age and my salary would not be adequate security against). He still has £25k credit card debt which he thinks I should pay off. He also owes the tax man and thinks I should settle that bill.

I have exchanged contracts my house and booked all my belongings to go into storage as I can't yet exchange on the flat I am hoping to buy. He has threatened to have the assetts from the sale frozen to prevent me from buying the flat I want.

Please can anyone give me advice?

Thank you

Sambucus_Nigra

What does your solicitor say about all this?

lilab_2

Haven't seen one yet. I know I should have, but I have just been so stressed with trying to sell the house in this climate that I've been unable to cope.

elvis86

lilab wrote: »

My husband walked out on me after 14 years of marriage in mid December last year.

When we first got together I was about to separate from my first husband with whom I had two children.

My first husband and I divorced fairly amicably and I the house was signed over into my name and I was granted a fair maintenance. I also got a job to pay for a few extras. ( I had worked previously but not for the two years prior to divorce)

Before my second husband to be moved in with me I asked him if he had any debt. He said he owed about £200 on credit cards. I asked him to pay it off before he moved in.

I later found out that he hadn't paid it off and that he had a bank loan which he didn't tell me about. My maintenance payments had been worked out on the household bills with nothing extra. Therefore within a year, I had to sell the house. As the equity in the house belonged to me, I felt it right and proper that husband number 2 who I shall call S, be responsible for the payments of a £60k mortgage which we took out in joint names.

Within a 3 years he was sacked from his job. He got bits and pieces here and there but no secure work. I by this time was running a small business, although not earning a great deal in take home pay. We had one holiday which I paid for.

We soon had the mortgage company phoning to say he hadn't made the payments, so I took charge of making them from my bank account. I also was paying (and have ever since) all the bills, utillities, food etc. I even gave him my car which I paid £8k for. It was written off in an accident and he received the insurance cheque. He bought a replacement for £350. I don't know what happened to the rest.

Soon more phone calls were coming to the house. One day I found piles of bills and discovered that he owed about £25k in credit card bills and was robbing Peter to pay Paul.

He made an arrangement to pay the credit card companies a certain amount each month. However, I then discovered that he had taken out loans and that his total debt was actually about £40k.

I decided that we needed to move home so we put the house up for sale and I bought a house in my name only with no mortgage. This freed up some cash as well to pay some debt off. He continued to pay more off and had secured a fairly well paid job.

After two years in our new home he lost his job again. However, he soon got another one. For the last year of living with me, he gave me about £1000 per month to help with bills etc, Last June I told him that he had to stop his spending, it appeared to me that he had a problem which he couldn't control.

By August I discovered that he had started to see other women. He told me that he didn't want to live with me anymore. I put the house on the market and we agreed that he would stay with me until the house was sold as it made economic sense.

He, however decided to move out. Without telling me, he rented a flat and hired a car to move out his belongings.

He has made no contribution to the household at all since then. The house is in my name.

I told him that I have a buyer for my property and today he has phoned demanding money. He tells me that he is entitled to half of the property and the furniture. He tells me that I can get a mortgage. (Which of course I can't as both my age and my salary would not be adequate security against). He still has £25k credit card debt which he thinks I should pay off. He also owes the tax man and thinks I should settle that bill.

I have exchanged contracts my house and booked all my belongings to go into storage as I can't yet exchange on the flat I am hoping to buy. He has threatened to have the assetts from the sale frozen to prevent me from buying the flat I want.

Please can anyone give me advice?

Thank you

To be honest, it all sounds pretty insane to me and I can't believe that a marriage with so little trust and honesty lasted 13 years, but especially the warning signs highlighted in bold!:(

What kind of relationship did you have where he crashed your £8,000 car and you had no idea what he spent the insurance money on?! And furthermore you didn't demand to know?!

BitterAndTwisted

Get that property sold and quickly before he can get a charge put on it or something. Let him see you in court for any money that he think he's entitled to from you.

See a solicitor immediately!

jetta_wales

elvis86 wrote: »

To be honest, it all sounds pretty insane to me and I can't believe that a marriage with so little trust and honesty lasted 13 years, but especially the warning signs highlighted in bold!:(

What kind of relationship did you have where he crashed your £8,000 car and you had no idea what he spent the insurance money on?! And furthermore you didn't demand to know?!

Completely agree.

Go and see a solicitor and maybe they'll have some hope of sorting out the mess you've let yourself get dragged into. Better make it a good one too.

lilab_2

Yes it was a crap relationship, but I wanted my two girls to not have to see another broken marriage whilst they were still at school. I'm not as stupid as I must seem in my post, and I would be saying the same to someone else, but when you're in it, it's sometimes hard to find the way out.

Thank you, yes I will see a solicitor asap. House is sold - completion next Wednesday. Just very frightened at the moment.

the_cat

Agree on the house sale. Complete straight away even if your flat is not ready. Fob him off a bit if you can without agreeing to anything concrete to stall just until you get the money in the bank.

It will make it much easier for you to get rid of him if the house sale is not hanging over your head

ETA cross posted! Good! Only a few days to stall him for. Does he know when completion is? If not, DON'T tell him! Sounds like you might be guilty of giving him a little too much info to shaft you with (ie telling him you had a buyer) Although be warned, he may have a case for some money out of the house sale. Just because it was in your name, it doesn't automatically mean it is yours alone. See that solicitor pronto!

lilab_2

Thank you the_cat

Sambucus_Nigra

Aye, keep your head down, don't aggravate him at all and collect your money as quickly as you can and try to only communicate afterwards through a solicitor. And try not to tell him any of your plans at all!

BitterAndTwisted

lilab wrote: »

Thank you, yes I will see a solicitor asap. House is sold - completion next Wednesday. Just very frightened at the moment.

Please do not be frightened. Once you have the money in the bank he will need to take you to court to see a penny.

Strictly, any assets that you went into the marriage with became jointly owned, so even though the house was in your name and was bought with the proceeds of your first marriage, your current husband does have a claim on the funds from the sale.

Exactly how much is for a court to decide. Until then you will have plenty of time and opportunity to get all salient facts to hand to present as evidence as to why he shouldn't get more than a fiver.

If you're very fortunate he won't qualify for legal aid so going from what you have posted so far, it's unlikely that he'll have the funds at hand to finance any action against you.

Here's hoping!