Partner's stolen from children

Padstow

People do the strangest things, or rather don't, as in looking to see how much is in the accounts over a sixteen year period.
One of the spurs to save is seeing how much has accumulated.

Why on Earth did you save £100.00 pm, when you were so hard up you had to sell the house? Maybe you raiding that money would have prevented that, or not. After all, CB is to be used by the parent for the good of the children, at that time, and I consider stability to be important. More important than the possibility they may go to University. In times of need you use the money. Uni's a bridge to be crossed when you come to it.

Many young people put themselves through Uni after all, and the irony is if you are so stretched, they would get help.

What a pity the money wasn't invested in National Savings Bonds. Not only would there have been a lot more, but both of you would need to sign for a withdrawal.

Mine wanted to go to the South of France with PGL. I had no choice but to dip into her savings, husband had to sign too though.

I'm sorry to be so down on you as I know what it's like to be married to a thief.
The only difference was, I found my husband was stealing from me, and when caught, sniggered like a little boy caught with his hand in mummy's purse.

I'd lived for 22 years with a compulsive liar and cheat. I never contemplated he would steal from me as well. Divorced last month.

Had he stolen from our daughter, I could well be in prison for my actions, so you have my utmost sympathy.

I could trot out all the excuses for your husband. "He wanted to provide for his family." "He felt less of a man for struggling to keep you."

Doesn't alter the fact he stole from his children! Do they know by the way?

daska

the_cat wrote: »

ETA...... if he's done this, what else might he have done. Time to go through every account with a fine toothcomb, get credit checks done to see what loans etc you don't know about etc. Stealing from your kids is not the first thing people do usually when they are wanting money

Good idea - if he doesn't admit to the kids' accounts I'd do it openly, on the basis of identity theft.

McKneff

I couldnt help but see in the OP

I from MYchild benefit.

Child benefit is to help keep children on a day to day basis.

Perhaps father couldnt manage to provide enough to feed and clothe all of you and has had no choice.

And Im sorry, but no one is FORCED to send their child to a private school, there would have been places further afield for your child.

Sit down and talk to him. Maybe some of the fault is yours.

BillTrac

And how many people bleat that it's the end of their marriage etc?

so what? If people sink so low that they resort to stealing money from their children, what the hell has piece of paper got to do with it!!

If he had good reason to steal wouldn't he have spoken to you about it? Oh, I forgot you're 'married'

Fork, neck and kerb come to mind.

HappyMJ

So he's used government money, the child benefit, to spend on his children and you are accusing him of theft. Strange world. You both need to sit down and discuss family finances much more. Get help from a charity if it all just turns into arguments at home.

aliasojo

HappyMJ wrote: »

So he's used government money, the child benefit, to spend on his children and you are accusing him of theft. Strange world. You both need to sit down and discuss family finances much more.

To be fair, at this point it's not certain what the money was used on, it's all just conjecture. Agree they need to talk though.

BillTrac

HappyMJ wrote: »

So he's used government money, the child benefit, to spend on his children and you are accusing him of theft. Strange world. You both need to sit down and discuss family finances much more. Get help from a charity if it all just turns into arguments at home.

NO, not government money - taxpayers money......

although we still have no idea if the op was involved/included in the spending of the childrens money.

Sounds like they don't talk about anything at all

jtr2803

I rarely post on threads like these but I am utterly perplexed....

1) You have been married for x? number of years and you don't really seem to have any idea what sort of money he was earning or where it went?

2) You have not thought to check the accounts more often? I can't find the post now so I could be mistaken but I believe I read you noticed money going out of the accounts in 2006, did you not think to keep an eye on it?

3) You don't believe he has provided adequately...um, you have children, isn't it a joint effort? If you feel that way then you talk about it, not ignore it.

IF he has taken the money without consulting you and agreeing that it was in the best interest of the family then yes, that is not right but I'm quite stunned that you seem to have little knowledge of how the family finances have run for a considerable amount of time?

jetta_wales

I must say some of these threads are just so ridiculous I can never help but doubt if that many of them are actually even real.

Mrs_P_Pincher

Jetta, I can absolutely see where you're coming from, but after being a family lawyer in private practice for many years, I could tell you tales and you would wonder how these things could happen, how people could be so trusting, or, dare I say it, so stupid, but it happens. I'm not going to comment on OP's post, but I can quite believe it could happen and perhaps we should just choose not to judge, because there but for fortune go the rest of us.

Mr P is at home all day when I am at work. Often when I come home, there are cups in the DW. If I ask, he will tell me who his visitor has been. I believe him because I trust him and have no reason not to. I hope I will not have egg on my face one day.

Mrs P P