How do I prove he is depriving himself of income?

jetta_wales

izzybusy23 wrote: »

Thats good that you can keep that attitude; however, things do and can change; I'm not sure why anybody wouldn't want to buffer themselves against unforseen events.

Because in some situations buffeting yourself for those unforeseen events that might never happen might well be of detriment to what actually is happening in the present.

AnxiousMum

jetta_wales wrote: »

Your situations certainly sounds quite different indeed if he's doing it to avoid paying you all together.

I just don't buy the pleading poverty on that much CSA onto of her own earnings or benefits (as they're not deducted from benefits now) so personally I'm inclined not to sympathise at all.

If it was about how little he does for them or sees them and how bad a parent he is in any other respect than money then sure expect more and give the kids the world but it's not it's about how much she really needs that extra money and I don't buy that tbh. £300 a month is plenty enough to bring it way out of the realms of 'need' and just into want.

A little stereotypical isn't it? I've been a single mum, I get child support - yet I'm yet to ever claim any out of work benefits. I currently receive £47 per week in child benefit, no child tax credits, no hb, ctc benefits or any other such benefit. However, that is greatly due to the combined incomes of myself and my OH. Not all PWC's are sitting at home on benefits as a single parent hauling in the cash and trying to bleed dry the NRP - many of us just want them to pay their share, just as we do

And you know what......so what if I want my children to have the lifestyle that as a young couple, their dad and I planned for, worked towards AS A COUPLE - yes, my children are entitled to their rights of full and proper childsupport, and as a parent, it is my responsibility to ensure that they get what they are entitled to. In my case, the ex certainly wouldn't be where he is today - as without me having supported him, he wouldn't have been able to do what he has accomplished. Hmmm, maybe I should just go after his pension etc. instead eh? lol

jetta_wales

izzybusy23 wrote: »

Don't shoot the messenger.

I didn't mean to, sorry if it sounded that way.

SarahT1980

g-sharp_major wrote: »

Could this be a case of diversion of income?

Diversion of Income. I Googled and found this: (ww.) childsupportspecialists.co.uk/parent-with-care.asp

Does anyone have any experience? and what the burden of proof?

Marisco

AnxiousMum wrote: »

In my case, the ex certainly wouldn't be where he is today - as without me having supported him, he wouldn't have been able to do what he has accomplished. Hmmm, maybe I should just go after his pension etc. instead eh? lol

That is why I asked did the op help her ex achieve what he has? That is totally different to the op's situation. Reading the posts, it must be said, no she didn't, he apparently inherited it. Was she still with him when he inherited it? If not, then it really has nowt to do with her.

clearingout

Marisco wrote: »

That is why I asked did the op help her ex achieve what he has? That is totally different to the op's situation. Reading the posts, it must be said, no she didn't, he apparently inherited it. Was she still with him when he inherited it? If not, then it really has nowt to do with her.

with the OP, I agree. but the child/ren,it has everything to do with them.

AnxiousMum

Marisco wrote: »

That is why I asked did the op help her ex achieve what he has? That is totally different to the op's situation. Reading the posts, it must be said, no she didn't, he apparently inherited it. Was she still with him when he inherited it? If not, then it really has nowt to do with her.

But everything to do with THEIR children

If I wanted to claim anything off of my ex though in terms of me contributing towards his gain - then I would do that through ancillary relief - for my children to benefit, it is dealt with through child support. I am not benefiting from my ex's current situation, my children are - to the standard which he and I had planned.

I wonder if when the OP and the EX had children, they had planned for their children to get by on as little as they could get away with......somehow, I doubt it

jetta_wales

clearingout wrote: »

with the OP, I agree. but the child/ren,it has everything to do with them.

Not if it was the express wishes of the deceased that it not be to be of benefit to his ex, if he wants to provide for them in other ways then CSA with his capital then he can do so but the will sounds very very specific and purposeful and pretty tight to be honest. It was the deceased's business after all and it was his right to chose to word it that way. He may well not have left it to him if it couodn't have been done that way.

Marisco

AnxiousMum wrote: »

But everything to do with THEIR children

If I wanted to claim anything off of my ex though in terms of me contributing towards his gain - then I would do that through ancillary relief - for my children to benefit, it is dealt with through child support. I am not benefiting from my ex's current situation, my children are - to the standard which he and I had planned.

I wonder if when the OP and the EX had children, they had planned for their children to get by on as little as they could get away with......somehow, I doubt it

Yes, but be honest AM, how many people do what you do i.e put every penny of CB and CM in an a/c for the kids? That of course it what should happen, but we all know it doesn't. Maybe the ex would be willing to open an a/c for the kids? That way the kids benefit but the ex doesn't. It's worth a go I suppose, because reading the op's post about the will, it seems quite watertight TBH. Maybe the deceased knew the op would go after the business/more money, and that's why he wrote it like he did.

AnxiousMum

Marisco wrote: »

Yes, but be honest AM, how many people do what you do i.e put every penny of CB and CM in an a/c for the kids? That of course it what should happen, but we all know it doesn't. Maybe the ex would be willing to open an a/c for the kids? That way the kids benefit but the ex doesn't. It's worth a go I suppose, because reading the op's post about the will, it seems quite watertight TBH. Maybe the deceased knew the op would go after the business/more money, and that's why he wrote it like he did.

I put the CB away for my kids, always have done. CM has only been getting put directly into bank and transferred to my son's account since he started university back in September - as the money is for his living costs, and I don't have any for him while he's at uni. When he's home, I provide for him - if he's home here working over the summer - won't be expected to pay room and board as his older brother does. I also contribute towards his account from my pay on a monthly basis - as I know that in two years, he's likely going to be hit for £9K in tuition fees for first year med school - as no student loans available for it.

However, when the ex had to cough up almost two years worth of arrears - the first thing I did was book a holiday for all 7 members of my family - as my three younger children had gone without things due to my ex not contributing and us still having to pay airfares etc. to go visit him etc. I don't feel guilty one bit about that - I know he'd have a cow - but my OH and I provided fully for ALL children while the ex decided not to contribute to our child at all. Come summer - it's Australia on the agenda - and yes, I'll send him a lovely postcard

The will in OP's case does seem pretty watertight, and very likely set up that way with the view to the 'ex' couldn't benefit from it. Seems horrid for a parent though to not want his children to benefit. Sorry - just doesn't sit right - a parent should do all they can for their children - not just the new woman/man on their arm Maybe he is putting money away for them - who knows.