Should i compromise?

piratess

This year is our first proper year as a family living together me and my DP have been together for 4 years but lived as a long distance relationship anyhoo

last night he made a comment that it makes him laugh the way i do xmas! .. I ask the kids to write a list for santa and then they put it on the tree! then i buy wrap and on xmas eve i put them out in two piles one for each DD, any pressies from family i put under the tree! on xmas morning we do the stockins in our bed and then go down stairs for santas gifts

anyway at his mums!!! she wraps and puts all the pressies under the tree! .. the kids have their stockings in the morning and then they have breaky etc and then send the kids in to sort out the presents under the tree and pass them round one each to open at a time!

anyway we have a son between us 20 months and he said i dont want him to do it your way i want him to do it how we always did!, as its better! ... now do i change and put the pressies all under the tree???? ... or do i stick to my guns? ... my Dds are 12 and 8 !

help! .. i can sence a row brewing! xxx

Spendless

piratess wrote:

last night he made a comment that it makes him laugh the way i do xmas! .. I ask the kids to write a list for santa and then they put it on the tree! then i buy wrap and on xmas eve i put them out in two piles one for each DD, any pressies from family i put under the tree! on xmas morning we do the stockins in our bed and then go down stairs for santas gifts

anyway at his mums!!! she wraps and puts all the pressies under the tree! .. the kids have their stockings in the morning and then they have breaky etc and then send the kids in to sort out the presents under the tree and pass them round one each to open at a time!

anyway we have a son between us 20 months and he said i dont want him to do it your way i want him to do it how we always did!, as its better! ...
help! ..

Sorry I'm a bit lost as to where you put the pressies for your 2 daughters after you ahve divided them into 2 piles, their bedrooms or under the tree?
I'd say your problem is that you each think your way is better, hence the hi-lighted bits;) , they're not, just both different.

I think you need to find some third way ground and introduce a combination of the bits you like best from each 'family' or scrap it all and start again with your own traditions. I also think your partner needs to accept that things will be very different for your girls this year, and they should have something of a routine that they are used to, or a say in what new things you are going to introduce.

Good Luck :beer:

victory

how about do it for your son but not for the DD's? Madness how xmas turns into war isn't it?!!
We do piles, easiest way I think, saves all the rummaging, both kids know which pile is theirs and they can run to it in the morning but having said that MIL passes them around like pass the parcel, more inter-active she says and takes longer to get the pressies. xxx

piratess

sorry spendless! ... on xmas eve santa comes and leaves them in two piles near the xmas tree! .. so when they come downstairs they have a pile each waiting for them
stockings they have on their beds and they bring them into my bedroom and sit on the bed in the morning,

Im not saying any way is better he just made me feel like i was doing it wrong! and contradicting what i do and what involvment santa has

*flutterby*

Why not ask the children where they would prefer Santa to leave thier gifts...

I like the idea of getting them from under the tree and I kinda feel it encourages sharing and working together etc... but I guess children may prefer to come down to a HUGE pile and think WOW etc...

But then what if one pile is bigger than the others? Does it leave the children disheartend? I am the eldest of 5, we are 26, 25, 24, 19 and 15... We all go tomy mums on x-mas morning, and open our presents together just like when we were kids... As we get older our presents seem to get smaller and smaller so our 'piles' look smaller and even at our age now we still notice it!

piratess

thankyou flutterby thats a great idea .. i may just try it this year and see if i get any comments the pile size is a worry! as i tend to try and compromise with them if one is smaller than the other!

Victory i dont think id like to do it different for our son, as it would seem odd! and would have my daughters asking to many questions,
Think ill try everything under the tree this year and see what comments i get !

where does santa leave the pressies in Your house?? and do your children write a list or do you ask them what sort of thing they would like ? Im getting paranoid now!

nearlyrich

I used to put my children's gifts into a big sack each by the tree, as they are older we put everything under the tree including gifts we are giving to other people. (If small santa believers arrive and see them we say the elves will collect them tonight!)

On Christmas morning now we all sit down together and pass the presents around, much more civilised than a mass ripping of paper but it was so much more fun when they were little.

My family who arrive for dinner etc open their gifts when they get here, I like to see their reaction to my offering.

victory

santa leaves the pressies at 1am or more (when the kids have settled down and are no longer pretendig to be asleep!!) they come in from the shed/neighbours/garage.
The kids write a list but I have a tendency to ignore it as I know what is best for them and cheaper as they get the Argos catalogue out and just cut the pictures and paste it onto their lists!!!
They give an idea I adjust it xxx

siren13577

Hi there,
My OH's mum used to put the presents at one end of the room so there'd be no arguments, not very christmassy. There are five children in my family and we'd have our presents put in a 'sack' or actually pillow case and wake up with them on the end of our beds in the morning. It was very exciting because it felt like Santa had really been, even though it was my dad. We also had a couple more to open after christmas lunch. Perhaps you could bring something like this as an agreement. Your partner should meet you in the middle. My oh and I have agreed there'll be a sack on DS's bed but some presents downstairs too.
I hope you get it sorted, Merry Christmas everyone!!!

Siren xx

*zippy*

We do it like you piratess.

They have stocking on the end of their bed, which they bring into bed with us to open, in the lounge I put the santa presents on seperate armchairs. They do have to take it in turns to open them though and now they are older (10+15) I ask them to save a few till after lunch, so nanny and grandad can see them open some and make the excitement last a bit longer, presents from family go under the tree, which are opened after lunch. In Laws pressies are on Boxing day as thats our day with them.

Amanda65

Hi all - just to put my twopenneth worth in, my DD's and DS (15, 13 and 10)have stockings in their rooms with little pressies in which they all open together in eldest DD's room giving me and DH 10 minutes of peace for a cup of tea and to brace ourselves for the day ahead! I love hearing all their comments to each other and every s often that is interspersed by something running in and saying thank you!

OH then goes downstairs and opens first bottle of the days champers (v important job) and once done we all troop downstairs to the living room where everyone (oncluding me and OH) have a seat / bit of sofa each piled with pressies. This was always the way it was done when I was little so have just carried it on. Under the tree are pressies for my parents, bro and SIL who arrive late morning. The kdis now buy each of these a pressie out of their own money £5 per head limit) and love handing out the gifts they have bought.

We then have tree pressies after lunch which usually consists of one small present each - pen, diary, chocs or similar, although one eyar my mum organised this and got my OH a tube of No More Nails!!!!! I have been in charge of these since - perhaps I should put that on the 'worst present' thread. Lol.

I don't think it matters how you do Christmas pressies, just that you are all in agreement. Maybe now would be a time to compromise / amalgamate both sets of ideas and start your own traditions. Good luck xx