Should i compromise?

Heth_2

I feel quite lucky that my husband and I have relatively similar family traditions. We both are used to stockings from 'Father Christmas' (we each do the others stocking) and then presents from family under the tree. Father Christmas would always get my sister and I little presents, often school supplies, socks and stuff my parents would have bought us anyway, as some chocolate. We opened stockings on my parents bed, then after breakfast had the tree presents. I still remember how magical it was going into the lounge and seeing the massive pile! My parents would always get us lots of little presents under the tree, eg books, cds as well as a big gift, eg a new winter coat. My husband on the other hand is used to less presents under the tree, maybe one or two big ones, and things like a new book would be in his stocking. He is also used to doing presents after lunch, we did them before.


I think if we have kids we'd try to have more presents under the tree and smaller stockings, just because its so nice seeing a large pile under the tree, all wrapped up together. We'll try and add some new traditions as well (bicks fizz for breakfast being my favorite new one), and maybe do presents both before and after lunch.

ikkleosu

piratess wrote:

This year is our first proper year as a family living together me and my DP have been together for 4 years but lived as a long distance relationship anyhoo

last night he made a comment that it makes him laugh the way i do xmas! .. I ask the kids to write a list for santa and then they put it on the tree! then i buy wrap and on xmas eve i put them out in two piles one for each DD, any pressies from family i put under the tree! on xmas morning we do the stockins in our bed and then go down stairs for santas gifts

anyway at his mums!!! she wraps and puts all the pressies under the tree! .. the kids have their stockings in the morning and then they have breaky etc and then send the kids in to sort out the presents under the tree and pass them round one each to open at a time!

anyway we have a son between us 20 months and he said i dont want him to do it your way i want him to do it how we always did!, as its better! ... now do i change and put the pressies all under the tree???? ... or do i stick to my guns? ... my Dds are 12 and 8 !

help! .. i can sence a row brewing! xxx

I don't think there's anything wrong with the way anyone does it, because whatever a kid is used to will seem normal and best fot them.

But my instinct is to say that your hubby's way is in some ways better, as it makes the kids have patience and means they see what everyone else is getting, instead of just focusing in opening their own pile. If the pressies are under the tree and get passed out one at a time, it makes the whole process last longer and each pressie is focussed on for longer, whereas in a pile they tend to just rip through as quickly as possible.

Oh and writing lists is a big yes! We always gets stuff not on the list too but the list shows the main things you would love to get.

ftbworried

sorry to be blunt but I read that and thought 'does it really matter?'. IMHO it's really not worth causing an argument over- is it really that big a deal how the presents are 'arranged'? Is this what Christmas has become?

Knelley

But my instinct is to say that your hubby's way is in some ways better, as it makes the kids have patience and means they see what everyone else is getting, instead of just focusing in opening their own pile. If the pressies are under the tree and get passed out one at a time, it makes the whole process last longer and each pressie is focussed on for longer, whereas in a pile they tend to just rip through as quickly as possible.

I disagree:o not in a bad way:)

Santa DOESN'T wrap in our house so you come down and spend a couple of hours going through all Santas pressies. Then we sit around the tree and do the one pressie at the time thing. So just because the pressie are not handed around one at a time doesn't mean it doesn't last long. It is just different. I feel as long as the kids know WHO the pressies are from is important. It all depends on what each parent feels is important for their child:)

Knelley

ftbworried wrote:

sorry to be blunt but I read that and thought 'does it really matter?'. IMHO it's really not worth causing an argument over- is it really that big a deal how the presents are 'arranged'? Is this what Christmas has become?

ftb- when you are a child - it is the most important thing in the world! So I would say yes, it is important as a parent what you pass onto your child:)

Tuttifruitty_Theresa

hi when i was little my parents used to put all our presents in our bedrooms when we were asleep, then we when we woke up we took them into their bedroom, snuggle into bed with them and open them on their bed, my parents still say it was magical for them and i must admit it was for me too, now i'm an adult it's just not the same opening them from under the tree.

xxxx

piratess

Im not saying that we wikl be falling out over it, not atall and no christmas hasnt become about where the pressies end up but i just felt as if after doing things my way for 12 years i was doing it correct i now know that there is no correct way! and also feel that to make a change in how i do things to make my DP happy will confuse my 8yr old my 12 yr old doesnt believe anymore, and as for my DP doing it differently for our son i feel it should be one way for all to avoid any awkward questions, I think we will maybe put them all under the tree but stick with the stockins in our bedroom, and tell the kids that maybe santa ran out of room to make piles so put it under the tree! ...

Thankyou for all your advice and a sneaky peek into how you do xmas in your houses xxxxxx

Smashing

Start a new tradition and put the presents on the roof.

Spendless

piratess wrote:

I think we will maybe put them all under the tree but stick with the stockins in our bedroom, and tell the kids that maybe santa ran out of room to make piles so put it under the tree! ...

Depending on how big the parcels are, I see no reason why some can't be stacked in their individual piles under or around the tree. That's the way my parents did it for us. Mine one side of the tree, my sisters the opposite. My parents were left on either end of the settee. If you are unable to stack the pressies all on top of each other, come out further into the room IYSWIM. Depends on how big your room is.

Stockings could then be kept in bedrooms to save on space downstairs;) .

My parents opened their pressies last so they could watch both us kids unwrap pressies first. If we were steaming ahead, and they couldn't concentrate on both of us they would ask one of us to slow down till the other caught up.

Now just to decide, when best to eat breakfast before or after pressies. Are you starving hungry first thing, or just too excited and can't wait to see what everyone has got. Having brekkie first would space out the day more, but I haven't got the constraints:rotfl:

emmaBZ

my kids write a list and put it in their "helpful elf" boxes the elves come and take the letter to "santa".....in the morning the stockings are in living room and the presents are all mixed up under the tree we all sit around tree and me and OH hand out pressys ....then grand parents pop around late morning and we exchange gifts with them...