Should i compromise?

Spendless

Knelley wrote:

if you change something that they have been used to, especially something that is as magical as Christmas it can change their whole perception of a situation.

Actually I agree. I remember feeling very disgruntled the first time at my IL for Christmas that they served cold turkey:eek: with the rest of the meal hot.

To the delight of my neice who had probably spent every other year being told not to be a spoilt brat, when she complained about liking hot meat with a hot meal, I warmed both ours up in the microwave:D

kathyd_2

When my OH was a lad they each had chores to do and then breakfast to eat before they could tackle the pressies. Then the eldest was nominated to hand each present out. They had to take it in turns to open a pressie.

When I was young our pressies (4 kids) were left in piles on the armchairs and 2 piles on the sofa. Mum and Dad had their presents under the tree. After we youngsters had opened our presents mum and dad then opened theirs.

When we had children it was my OH who suggested we had Christmas morning the way I did things rather than the way he did things as he hated it. My OH always goes down early to put the tree lights on before anyone else goes down. Our children are now young adults and we still do this.

TheFlyingGerbil

The most important thing is that your daughter's traditions dont change - the baby wont know anyway and the partner should realise if you explain that the girls wont understand why santa has changed his habits - I didn't like it when my parents changed how I got my presents and I was well into my late teens with no pretence of believing in Santa - I just liked our traditions.

Part of being a family is putting your children first a lot of the time, and this is one of those times. Tell him you will put his presents under the tree for him if he wants it!

Joe

Knelley

kathyd wrote:

When I was young our pressies (4 kids) were left in piles on the armchairs and 2 piles on the sofa. Mum and Dad had their presents under the tree. After we youngsters had opened our presents mum and dad then opened theirs.

When we had children it was my OH who suggested we had Christmas morning the way I did things rather than the way he did things as he hated it. My OH always goes down early to put the tree lights on before anyone else goes down. Our children are now young adults and we still do this.

That is exactly what we do:) I rush down to make sure said Christmas tree lights are on = Santa has been as it is magical to walk into that. I still get a tingle when I do it. My partner and I were very very lucky that our traditions were the same! It would have cause sooooo much grief between us as we are both so into the Christmas traditions.

Spendless- Our Santa pressies were all our presents from Mum and Dad. We never got anything from them at Christmas and yet we never questioned it. Just that Santa brought our presents and that the rest were under the tree!

The presents we got from Santa ranged from our Stocking, which always got hung from our fireplace in the Living room. This consisted of anything that would fit into it! I now leave my boys stockings next to their 'Santa' toys. I never leave them in their rooms as you then have the problem of waiting for them to get to sleep as they get older. Thought it was easier to leave them downstairs.

We always open the stockings first. I put in, bubble bath and toothbrushes, keyrings etc, basically small things that can fit!

Our presents from family were whatever they wanted to buy us and for my boys whatever relatives want to buy them. I never know what they are getting so it is a surprise for me too:)

And I think Flying Gerbil - great name by the way:) - hit it right on the head. It is all about changing traditions and it doesn't matter what age you are, if the tradition changes too much it isn't the same:( I am going to introduce my boys to new jammies on Xmas Eve,and me to my smoked salmon and cheese bagel with my champagne breakfast New traditions that we never did before but they are extra to what we already do. And boy, am I looking forward to that champagne!:beer:

kathyd_2

Oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhh I JUST LOVE CHRISTMAS :rotfl:

I'M SOOOOO EXCITED.......... AND A LITTLE BONKERS :rudolf: :xmassmile :snow_laug :santa2: :xmastree: :xmassign: :snow_grin _party_ Anymore Christmas smilies? :rotfl:

Edit: Sorry folks, didn't realise that would be quite so big

pesky_princess

piratess wrote:

This year is our first proper year as a family living together me and my DP have been together for 4 years but lived as a long distance relationship anyhoo

last night he made a comment that it makes him laugh the way i do xmas! .. I ask the kids to write a list for santa and then they put it on the tree! then i buy wrap and on xmas eve i put them out in two piles one for each DD, any pressies from family i put under the tree! on xmas morning we do the stockins in our bed and then go down stairs for santas gifts

anyway at his mums!!! she wraps and puts all the pressies under the tree! .. the kids have their stockings in the morning and then they have breaky etc and then send the kids in to sort out the presents under the tree and pass them round one each to open at a time!

anyway we have a son between us 20 months and he said i dont want him to do it your way i want him to do it how we always did!, as its better! ... now do i change and put the pressies all under the tree???? ... or do i stick to my guns? ... my Dds are 12 and 8 !

help! .. i can sence a row brewing! xxx

does your partner have children already apart from the son you have between you? I have taken it as he has not as I didn't see it specifically mentioned... anyway.. if he only has your son, and your girls have always done it a certain way, then I think your way should carry on... despite whether he thinks his way his better... your son has never known anything else, due to his age - but your daughters have been doing the same thing for 12 and 8 years! it would be unfair to make them change, and your son will grow up with the ame way too!
Just my opinion! I think your way should stay as your children are used to it, and if he wants to do it his way just because he did it that way when he was young, then I think he should grow up and stop being selfish and put children before him.. after all.. christmas is mainly for the children, and he is certainly no longer one!!!!!

katmac_3

We used to have a special dinner on Xmas Eve at which all presents from each other and relatives were given out. We'd take our stockings to bed and it was great to wake up in the morning, feel the weight at the end of the bed and know Santa had been. We'd open them in my parents room and we couldn't go downstairs until everybody was washed, dressed and my Dad had a chance to start the breakfast. Big presents from Santa would be around the tree - unwrapped - Santa doesn't wrap.This meant there was a clear distinction between Santa and the family who'd given us presents (no excuses for not sending those thankyou letters). It also meant we could eat what we liked on Xmas day without 'spoiling our appetites', as all my Mum had to do was lay out a nice buffet and play. This continued until the youngest was about 12 and then we reverted to Xmas dinner on the day. It really worked for us and meant the grownups didn't get frazzled and had time for the kids rather than being stuck in the kitchen.

amanda40

In our house Santa leaves piles for each of my DS either side of the fireplace ( both have different coloured wrapping paper so it saves confusion for Santa). Stockings get left on top of the pile and they both decided they didn't really want Santa creeping about their room ( can't blame them!). All the presents get opened first thing in the morning. Any presents from friends and relatives go under the tree and we usually open them after dinner or on Boxing day.

We do a letter to Santa ( around now) asking for 2 or three thingsif it is something we are not sure of we try to 'guide' them to something else ( then by the time Santa brings it they are convinced it was what they always wanted!!), but he always leaves a lot more.

Our presents were never wrapped as children from Santa, but hubby and I decided to wrap ds's - but if there is anything big they don't get wrapped. We don't give them any presents from us and they have never questioned it.

Breakfast is normally coissants and chocolate brioche bread - kids are allowed sweets for Breakfast - it is the only day that happens. Our kids never go down stairs themselves on Christmas morning - normally we have to wake them at 8 as we can't wait to see their faces.

piratess

I just wanted to thankyou all for your comments and points of view! i think im goin to arrange under the tree but still have some form of umm pile! if that makes sence and then its taking some of his traditions into it to well he'll think so hehehehe .....

and the stockings we will do the same as always upstairs on our bed!,
I do like the idea tho of only opening a few and then waiting until after breaky etc and then opening more!

alwaysbusyMUM

after 8years of doing the same thing, I'm actually changing it slightly this year, normally the MIL & SIL who are both disabled come here 1st thing about 8am, our DD's are now 20 & 11, so the norm was to bring them round we'd all be half dressed/asleep and then open all the pressies - by 9am it's all over, so after a discussion with the DD's, this year MIL & SIL will open their stockings in their home !!2mins from us} at whatever time they want to get up with in reason, we'll do the same here, then after breakie we'll go & get them all jolly & fed to open all the main pressies, chill watch new dvd, get meal ready for 5/6pm ish. No more mad rush, to get up + get dressed.

We also pass the parcel's round, which have been left under the tree, I always make sure each DD's opens a present from the same relative together too.

We used to do letter's but not anymore, being trying to keep the youngest to believe but it not worked :rotfl:

Merry Christmas everyone