Me and DH have a different approach to money

sp1987

beasygirl wrote: »

I'm not about to start claiming any JSA, I haven't done so before and don't intend on doing it now. We will manage on the one wage. We have to.

I'm applying for part time jobs every day, and am not fussy I only want part time hours so will clean toilets if I have to.

With all due respect, if you are not up for claiming money you may be entitled to (or are if it is contributions based JSA for 6 months) you are helping to make the mess a bit worse?

The debt free wannabe forum will probably be a good place to go and post your soa. They can probably cut your outgoings by quite a lot.

jetta_wales

Bang that mans head against a wall till some sense comes out of it! Good grief what blind stupidity!

sp1987

nickyhutch wrote: »

You've left a full time job and are now unemployed, wont claim JSA, but are complaining about your OH's attitude to money?

Thank goodness you and the above person posted. I thought it was only me who thought that and there must be a reason why it was not suitable.

beasygirl

We already receive child benefit and tax credits so I'm not going to accept anymore hand outs from the government, we can manage on one wage and have done for the last few years, that is not the issue and I don't really want this thread to go down that route.

I just want to make my husband understand that taking out a high interest loan and living off credit cards is not the way. He just does not realise this and thinks he's onto the next best thing. We have never been in a situation where I haven't been earning, I feel like I've lost my say into how things are done, and he now has control. It's not a nice feeling:(. But thank you for the comments so far, it's interesting to see how I come across.

michaels

How can the op claim jsa if she quit her job?

DVardysShadow

beasygirl wrote: »

We already receive child benefit and tax credits so I'm not going to accept anymore hand outs from the government, we can manage on one wage and have done for the last few years, that is not the issue and I don't really want this thread to go down that route.

I just want to make my husband understand that taking out a high interest loan and living off credit cards is not the way. He just does not realise this and thinks he's onto the next best thing. We have never been in a situation where I haven't been earning, I feel like I've lost my say into how things are done, and he now has control. It's not a nice feeling:(. But thank you for the comments so far, it's interesting to see how I come across.

Actually, you have paid for the JSA, so take it without being ashamed. Of the 2 principles

• not accepting more state aid
• not taking loans with an APR of 457%

if you could convince your OH of just one, which would you prefer?

In my book, the 2 of you are being stubborn to the point of damaging your financial health. Perhaps you should lay down your principle?

sp1987

You clearly are not managing well though or you would not have a debt free date of October 2014?

That is not meant as a criticism, either. Plenty of people are on this forum for the very reason that they have money worries, but some worries can be helped by claiming any entitlements one may have. If nothing else, to maintain your children's wellbeing long term. Taking out 50% loans could turn into a real mess later on.

Oog

Hi OP,
Can you persuade your OH not to take the loan?
Perhaps show him how much it will cost and see if there is a different way. 'Costs' in terms of hours he has to work might be a good currency in which to explain!!

Is there room to use the credit cards if he wants the rent to be one month in advance, as it were? Is he suggesting this to help you spend on the cc so that he doesn't have to give you cash/know there is money in the bank?!
Do you have a joint account, and if so, can you 'offer' to look after the house keeping so you can manage it the way you want to?
Regarding the JSA, if you don't sign on, (and I'm sure someone on here will tell me) does that mean you lose any NI stamp? There may be other reasons to sign on other than the actual money.

You seem so against this arrangement! Put your foot down and tell him! (And suggest some financially sound alternatives.)

lily76

But because it is his money we have to do it this way.

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As a married couple, it's not only his money but also yours. You have a right over it.

Making new debts to pay off the old ones will only result in more debts I am afraid. Try to save some money by cutting some less-necessary spendings to pay off debts and once all the debts are cleared never get into debt again. I know it's easy to say and hard to begin with. If you do not want to ruin his mood by talking this with him all the time you might try some free debt helplines asing them to talk with him.

Never think in the way that he makes money so he has more control while you don't. You quit your job for the sake of the family and you have been both working and taking care of the family for so many years. You are great! He should thank you for what you've done. The problem is actually not money but your idea about your changing role. I don't mean to make you unhappy, but you just do not value a full time housewife plus full time mum enough! Also, your husband should comfort you more during this special time to give you more feeling of safety.

JoJoB

For goodness sake there is no shame in claiming contributions-based JSA to tide you over while looking for new part-time work. You've paid your contributions, you are entitled to it and by the sounds of it you need it. Are you really going to let pride get in the way of a sound financial decision?

And yes, your husband's idea is utterly ridiculous. Maybe the best way to get him to see this is to draw up a yearly budget - one with outgoings based on his method showing all the extra interest, and one where you do things your way.