SAHP v Working Parent

Mojisola

AimeesMum wrote: »

I am 22yrs old with a 3yr old and a 5 month old baby. I am about to go back to work full time after being off on maternity leave for 6 months.

AimeesMum wrote: »

Thanks for all your encouraging stories. I am not a single parent but my partner is on incapacity benefit (has been for 2yrs) and our relationship isn't as secure as I would like.

You have a lot on your plate for a 22 year old!

Good luck with whatever you decide.

meds12_2

AimeesMum wrote: »

Thanks for all your encouraging stories. I am not a single parent but my partner is on incapacity benefit (has been for 2yrs) and our relationship isn't as secure as I would like. I like to have my own money and am fully responsible for the food, paying the rent and the kids things etc. I try to live financially like a single parent as I am aware that things could hit the fan with us at any point.

I feel much better about going back to work now Thanks everyone xxx

Sorry have only just seen this, if things are not going well then yes I think you are right to be financially independent.

shy-but-need-help

If you are worried about the prospect of the relationship ending then I think persuing your career, keeping a foot on the ladder so to speak and keeping on moving up would be a good idea. It gives you options, alot more options than you would have without that work experience if/when the relationship ends.

It sounds like you gain alot of security from knowing you and your children are, or can be, financially independant of their father.

Have you looked into the free nursery sessions your three year old qualifies for? In some areas schools will allow the 5 half days of nursery sessions to be taken as 2 full days and a half day, others will work with the pick up/drop off service of nearby private nurseries which could really help reduce childcare costs and get your oldest familiar with the school prior to beginning reception.

Kimberley82

I understand your need to feel independent, but you will never get the time with your children back again.

Spendless

In your circs, I'd work f-time for now. In a couple of years when your eldest starts f-time school, I'd then review the situation based on your circs at that point.

anguk

I think going back to work or being a sahm is a very personal decision. I personally chose to stay at home, I was lucky that my OH fully supported my decision and he also earned enough to financially support us (this was in the days before tax credits) although it was with a low income.

There's no doubt me not working has had an impact on our lives financially, we've never had foreign holidays, don't own our home, haven't been able to afford the latest gadgets or new TVs but those things have never bothered us or our children.

I just felt very strongly that I wanted to raise my children, I wanted to be there when they left for school in the morning and there when they came home. My mother was very career minded and I remember her not being there more than she was there and it wasn't something I wanted for my kids.

I did have a few doubts when the kids got a little older, all their friend's mothers worked and they always had more money than us so I worried incase my kids were missing out but recently my son, who is now in his 20s, told me that many of his friends were actually envious of him because I was at home!

It's entirely down to you and what you feel in your heart is best, some mums need the outside stimulation of work, some have no choice because of finances. For me I wasn't bothered about a career, I've always kept myself busy and my brain active and I've never been bothered about material things either so have been happy with little or no money!

property.advert

Unless you have around £250,000 lying about somewhere that you don't need then you're going to have to work and save for their university education. And yes, it could be that expensive and much more !

My child does 5 full days in nursery / kindergarten and she is so much better for it.

Slinky_Malinky

Do you have the option to return to work on a part time basis? This would offer the best of both worlds as you can keep your career going but still have time with your kids.