Problems at work - advice welcome

ceridwen

wantsajob wrote: »

Also is types of things people will say to try cheer you up, when it is not something they truly believe to be accurate.

That may or may not be the case.

Some people will say things like that about the boss to "cheer someone up". Others will say exactly what they actually ARE thinking themselves about the boss. Whilst I understand the point made - I felt it necessary to say this because I was instantly thinking "If I say something about someone - then that is exactly what I really am thinking about them..." (errr...I do keep my mouth shut most of the time - but, if specifically asked what I think about someone - then its a dead straightforward assessment of the facts that I can see).

So - someone does have to assess how "factual" a person the commenter is - but some of us (for one reason or another) do "tell it like it is" if we are asked and simply wouldnt believe in saying what the other person "wanted to hear".

SevenOfNine

You did very well to land this job in the first place, particularly as you'd be out of work for a couple of years, so you mustn't forget that.

Personally, I think it's easier to get a job when you have a job, so I'd be reluctant to advise you to just walk away from this one. I do think that you MUST start keeping (& go backwards as well if you can recall dates/times) decent notes of outbursts from boss, shouting, unreasonable expectations etc (along with your responses). You may not feel at the moment that you want to go down the 'bullying' route, but who knows if you have a really bad day you may walk out, then constructive dismissal could be an option if boss has been truly awful. Or he/she might decide to sack you, who knows what's in the future so you should at least protect yourself by keeping a diary of these events.

Do you also think that given your mental health, breakdown, depression etc, you MAY be a trifle sensitive. I'm not suggesting you are, just perhaps 3 or 4 years ago you may have been more able to deal with this?

As for working extra hours, well TBH you did agree to cover holidays/sickness so as long as the extra IS for that purpose I don't think you can argue with that.

It would seem that the best thing might be to discuss this with someone else within the company, is that an option? Perhaps by saying your boss seems to have issues with your ability that you don't feel are fair, but you would like to resolve it so that you don't constantly feel harassed and bullied.

Good luck

dickydonkin

Do you also think that given your mental health, breakdown, depression etc, you MAY be a trifle sensitive. I'm not suggesting you are, just perhaps 3 or 4 years ago you may have been more able to deal with this?

Looking at it another way, is it possible that the unacceptable situation that has been carrying on at work for some time has contributed to the OP in being unable to deal with a situation now?

I accept we are all different and we deal with situations in a way that our genes dictate, however, just because a person has a less robust temperament, does not excuse anyone from treating that person with contempt, but unfortunately, it is these very people that bullies target.

Maybe I have a parochial view on this, but this situation is no different than asking an employee to work on a dangerous piece of equipment or carry out a dangerous task - both can cause physical harm as both are obvious dangers, however, it is the injury to the mind which is not so obvious that can and does cause psychological harm.

It seems that the OP’s employer is not just a nasty piece of work, but should be classed as a hazard – insomuch he has the potential to cause his workers harm – which it seems is correct as the OP is testament to that.

A physical injury such as a cut or bruise is visible and relatively easy to remedy, however, psychological injuries are less easy to detect and arguably more difficult to treat.

Ultimate control of the risk of harm is very simple - remove the person from the hazard or the hazard from the person and I would think in the case of the OP, the former will likely be the best option and hopefully she will find a new job in the very near future as based on the post, it seems there is no reasoning with her employer and as she is reluctant to even attempt to make contact with him (which I fully understand), it would seem that the situation is irretrievable.

electric_comperella

I struggled for many months now with the idea that I might be just being "too thin skinned".... so I carried on working there in the hope that I was! I actually hoped it was just my sensitivity that was the problem and that it actually was a normal situation....

So I carried on dragging myself in....hoping not even for days when my boss was nice to me...but JUST civil

A day when I could at least say I hadn't been shouted at and I could get through my daily tasks successfully

I upped my game and worked harder and faster, kept smiling no matter what I was thinking/feeling...

But now it seems no matter how hard or fast I work, nothing is good enough and nothing can prevent the constant bellowing - when I'm out of my bosses sight it seems they always assume I'm not working...

There is no higher authority for which keeping records would help...I can't email my boss with my concerns as I know it wouldn't go down well...the ethos at work is "suck it up and get on with it"

We all roll our eyes and sigh to eachother when we're alone (the employees) but nothing will change there...I feel so helpless....I NEED the offer of a new job ASAP....

But then comes the issue of having to serve notice with a person who I feel wont like me taking matters into my own hands...

I feel that even if...(can't be sure) they want rid of me they still wont be happy about me rocking up with my resignation in hand...

and then I have to serve out my notice with someone who was already atrocious to work with in the first place....I can't help but feel it would get worse....

I have acid reflux each and every day and think of this situation every minute even when away from work.... it's literally "doing my head in" I was so pleased to get back into employment and have given this job my all...

Now my blood runs cold at the thought of my place of work and my boss .... still a few more days to decide what my fate is...

once again thank you to all for your comments, they give me the opportunity to question and debate my own thoughts/feelings which is always a good thing...I really want to make a decent informed decision so I don't do something which I later come to regret...

so thanks to you all again x

Savvy_Sue

But if you get another job, and make it clear that you may not get a good reference because the boss is unlikely to be happy about you leaving, you could then go and see your GP and ask them to sign you off. Given what you have said, this wouldn't be unreasonable.

Then you get a breathing space before starting the new job.

electric_comperella

that's a good idea Sue... thanks

alls I need now is the job offer and QUICK! x

Savvy_Sue

Having said that, I bet your contract doesn't give you company sick pay, so you might be on Statutory Sick Pay, which goes nowhere.

electric_comperella

yeah contract just gives SSP?

Savvy_Sue

OK, so you need to make sure you can survive that notice period without your normal salary.

btw I don't recommend this routinely.

electric_comperella

I'm considering going back and hoping for the best in the coming week....then fingers crossed I get another job that wants me to start asap and that'll aid my needing to leave the job quicker...