Problems at work - advice welcome

Googlewhacker

Ihatecameron wrote: »

The best way to deal with bullies who shout is say, "I can't hear you, can you speak up a bit please". Then watch as the explode in a tirade of abuse. Then say "calm down dear, you will have a stroke if you carry on like that".

Being antagonistic will not help, you are better of documenting things and keeping a record but at the end of the day if it is the owner you will most likely need to move job.

ceridwen

Horace wrote: »

dmg24 is a retired employment lawyer and I have never known her to be nasty.

OP, having been in a similar situation with a bullying boss, I can sympathise with you. Have you considered making a formal grievance about his behaviour towards you?

Not wanting to be rude, but sometimes when you have been ill with depression you take things that are said more personally and think that someone is taking a swipe at you when they are not. I am not making excuses for the boss but running a business is extremely stressful in itself especially during this recession - every penny counts and time is money and it could be that he is worried about the business and the staff if work isn't completed on time - if the work isnt done, the business doesnt get paid and he can't pay the staff. I don't think he has been unreasonable in asking you to work full time either - he is thinking of the needs of the business. If he thought you were rubbish at your job he wouldnt have asked you to work full time - think of this as a positive and not a negative.

I would disagree with a couple of points in your post actually....

The employer is the one who should have "thought of the needs of the business" - at the outset. Why did he employ a part-time person if he really wanted a full-time one? He had the responsibility at the outset for either holding out for a suitable full-time person OR employing 2 part-time people. He advertised the job as part-time and took on a part-time person - and therefore has no right to complain about it when O.P. sticks to what was agreed - ie by staying part-time.

One way or another - the employer has some sort of problem or other and is taking it out on O.P. The problem may be purely and simply that he is a nasty person on the one hand - it may be something other than that on the other hand. From the either side of a computer screen its not possible to tell exactly what personal issue the employer has that he is bringing into work. What IS clear is he knew who represented a suitable person for him to "take it out on" and bully - ie he is using O.P. for "kick the cat syndrome".

O.P. - hope you get another job soon.

ceridwen

Googlewhacker wrote: »

Being antagonistic will not help, you are better of documenting things and keeping a record but at the end of the day if it is the owner you will most likely need to move job.

Agreed.

....unless you get really lucky and someone else takes over the business and he's outa there...

electric_comperella

Thanks guys

I spent the weekend so far printing out various versions of my cv (industry specific and generic) and addressing envelopes....

I also collected a job application for a job I've seen...so full steam ahead with the trying to get out of there project...

I did try sticking up for myself with the boss and it basically back fired...so it's a lost cause....

there are others that feel as I do too where I work...but they're older and with less ability to move jobs unfortunately...

unions wouldn't help as raising a grievance would go down like a lead balloon and I'd end up having to move jobs....

as it stands

I feel I have 3 options

1: sickness leave absence...but i'm nervous of having to have contact with my boss...I'm even nervous of having to have contact of any kind....as I know they'd try to bully me into coming back to work asap for another helping of the constant abuse...I feel I'd be abused on the phone and bullied while on sick leave....there's also the impact on future references which tbh I think would be poor anyway...but still sickness leave looks bad

2: stick it out as I have been doing (not sure how long I can do this without snapping on shift).... and desperately hope that one of my job applications/speculative cv's comes to fruition...I'm also scared of the atmosphere at work and how it could implode when/if I give in my resignation....

3: Resign...sticky wicket financially...not sure what I'd do and how it'd go down with the social security office etc...ideally I want to be earning....as I've been paying off my debts nicely and I do enjoy working (the bullying issue aside) there's also the notice period to work with this option which I don't relish the thought of!

4: maybe hand notice in and have sick notes throughout the notice period?...anyone ever done this? pro's and con;s?


*sigh* lots of food for thought

thanks to everyone who's posted so far...your experiences/thoughts and opinions really do help...and when FF starts working properly I will start clicking "thanks" buttons xxx

wantsajob

Maybe one day the boss will figure out treating people in this way is bad for business. Or maybe he just wants to be the "big man".

Assuming your condition comes under the appropriate definition of a Disability within the act, you are entitled under the Equality Act to reasonable adjustments for your condition. These include working hours. No idea if this helps or not http://www.equalityhumanrights.com/advice-and-guidance/guidance-for-workers/working-hours-flexible-working-and-time-off/reasonable-adjustments-to-remove-barriers-for-disabled-people-and-avoiding-discrimination-arising-from-disability/

A drug like Omeprazole (prescription only) may help with acid reflux. I know how nasty it is when you wake up with the burning sensation in your mouth that nothing will ease.

Googlewhacker

wantsajob wrote: »

Maybe one day the boss will figure out treating people in this way is bad for business. Or maybe he just wants to be the "big man".

Assuming your condition comes under the appropriate definition of a Disability within the act, you are entitled under the Equality Act to reasonable adjustments for your condition. These include working hours. No idea if this helps or not http://www.equalityhumanrights.com/advice-and-guidance/guidance-for-workers/working-hours-flexible-working-and-time-off/reasonable-adjustments-to-remove-barriers-for-disabled-people-and-avoiding-discrimination-arising-from-disability/

Good advice but the caveat is it **MAY** allow for working hours to be flexible or reduced hours for eg but if a business can show for business reasons its not able to then they can refuse.

A simple example, in retail when the shop opens at 9.00am and someone requests to start work at 7.00am then it is likely to be fair for the business to say no as there is no need for someone in at 7.00am

williacg

It's great that you're sittting down and thinking out your options and planning what direction to take, it shows that you're well on the mend, and not hiding under the duvet, hoping that it will all go away.

With regards to placing a grievance, I can fully understand why it's such a daunting option to consider, and the backlash it would probably attract, however, you've pointed out yourself that you don't know how long you can carry on until you eventually lose your cool and snap, you will then have played right into the bullies hands. By setting a grievance procedure in motion, you will be seen to have proactively tried to resolve matters, and in the event that you do leave, and have to apply for benefits, it would help your claim for constructive dismissal, if you just walk out of your job, you will most certainly be sanctioned when applying for JSA.

There is no easy solution, as at the end of the day, it is you who has to face the bully on a day-to-day basis, but you really do need to protect yourself, and ensure that you have as much support as there is available to you, such as a union and documenting any relevant events.

electric_comperella

yeah my contract states i have to cover sickness and holidays, not sure if DDA helps...small businesses?

Tiddlywinks

electric_comperella wrote: »

.....

My boss bullies me each and every day and although I'm still training in a field I've never worked in before - expects me to know everything - even things I've not been shown how to do...

last week was the crux - I was being shown by a colleague how to perform a new task and my boss bellowed "YOU DO IT!" I was aghast...I had no idea HOW to do it, until I was shown....

All day I was bellowed for and shouted at...I'm regularly had a go at for the mistakes made by others...on one recent occasion I was taken to task for a mistake that happened when I wasn't there!

By this point after several months of the same thing...I decided rather than to be humble and just take it regardless (As I have been doing) I stood up for myself and made it clear I wasn't there...and the ranting at me carried on!

How about sending an email to your boss following any such outbursts; outlining the events in a brief and factual way - for example:

"This morning, after you asked me to xxxx, you appeared surprised that I was unable to comply and so I just thought I would outline the background for your information. I have yet to be trained in this area as I have been carrying out other duties (xxxx) but would welcome the opportunity to gain additional experience in this area so look forward to hearing the details of when this training might be delivered. Kind regards...." or
"This morning you appeared to suggest that I may have been responsible for xxxx. I just wanted to confirm that I was on leave (away from the office or whatever) and would not want you to be left with the impression that this was a situation of my making (or whatever). Please do not hesitate to contact me if you require any further clarification. Kind regards"

electric_comperella wrote: »

Everyone I've spoken to and explained the various episodes to think my boss is:

a lunatic
nasty person
bi-polar/drug taking
and/or just unhinged...

I don't want to sound negative BUT these people will be providing an opinion based on what you have told them from your own perspective - they are only going on what you tell them - can this be a balanced view?

I think you should see your doctor about how this whole affair is impacting on your health. I also think that you should consider that things may now appear worse because you are now seeing every day through a view clouded by your stress (and negative experiences) - you may also be conducting yourself in a different way at work (defensive, reserved or remote?) which will mean that people will respond to this difference in your persona - just a thought....

wantsajob

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

I don't want to sound negative BUT these people will be providing an opinion based on what you have told them from your own perspective - they are only going on what you tell them - can this be a balanced view?

Also is types of things people will say to try cheer you up, when it is not something they truly believe to be accurate.