Feeling Hurt and Mixed Up :(

[Deleted User]

This is not really in relation to my last thread but im soo confused. At the weekend i bumped into an ex i was with for a long time. The relationship ended badly last year but for some reason ive been thinking about the good times. I dont know whether its because ive seen him but i keep thinking of the good times. He hurt me badly and in return i hurt him. Anyway i heard hes been txting a friend of mines friend even though hes messaged me afew times on facebook message (hes not on my friends list so hes messaged me). He also sent me a birthday card. I know im not with him and he can txt who he likes but this really hurt especially as it seemed this friend that told me is a joint friend and we were all in the same place (by accident, not arranged). Im confused, i shouldnt be hurting, i know hes still in love with me because ive been told. Is he doing this to get a me because i met someone else 3months after we split up (which went wrong btw and im single) because the women hes txting really isnt his type as we all know eachother and when i was with him he used to laugh at the state she got into when out drinking (not on friendly terms just were around the same places and we regognise eachother). Why is it hurting me???? Maybe i have feelings that i didnt realise or maybe its because its the first time ive spoke to him in 9 months.

balletshoes

Life really is too short for this isn't it? You hurt him, he hurt you, it ended. You're only thinking of him now because you've seen him again. You don't want him, its only stroking your ego that you've been told he's still in love with you. His actions, texting, messaging someone else etc, whatever they are, can only hurt you if you let it.

Let it go - be happy for him, and get on with your life.

Errata

Maybe you need to sit down and write a list of all the crap things about him, just to remind yourself.

balletshoes

ImDoingItForMe wrote: »

Trouble is he cant either. Hes the one that messgaged me, poked me and sent me a card and made sure he was around where i would be.

you can't control what he does - you can however control what you do.

Emmzi

two minutes typing and sending a card isn't really putting effort into a relationship, is it now?

unless you broke up due to lack of texting, move on.

scooby088

Theres an old saying never look back, we all tend to look at past relationships with some sort of fondness but alas we can't live on what might have been, all i can say is forget about him, if he's on your facebook block him so you can't get any of his messages.

balletshoes

you shouldn't forget the hurt and pain, that was part of the relationship too - remember it if you're going to recall the good times with him.

make_me_wise

After a while the feelings of hurt, pain and upset we feel about a relationship diminish. Its healthy for that intensity not to overwhelm us or continue.

On the other hand it can leave us with a rose tinted glasses view of what being with someone was like. We focus on the lovely times and memories and forget how ultimately bad we were for each other.

There were reasons why you broke up. Dont dwell on them but keep moving forwards. Before you know it someone who you are far more suited to will walk into your life and make you smile again.

In the meantime enjoy being single.

meritaten

You hurt each other badly in the past - why? I am not asking you to post the reasons on here. but to ask yourself honestly why you hurt each other. then to assess whether those reasons would still apply today - if someone hit me, that would apply, cheated on me , that would apply, belittled me, that would apply too. see where I am going? If you had good reasons for splitting - then they still apply and you should ignore this guy. If however, you were just immature or there was a misunderstanding - then an honest conversation with this guy would be in order.

Plans_all_plans

Please do yourself a favour and ignore this man. If you see him on the street, blank him; if he facebooks you, blank him; if he texts you, blank him. I'd also tell mutual friends you couldn't give a t0ss what hes up to so you don't want them on about him to you.

ailuro2

When you meet "the one" then you will realise that any who went before him were just for practice.;)

If it was meant to have been forever, then he wouldn't have done what he did to hurt you, and you wouldn't have hurt him back.;)