wedding plus 1!

sammy_wheeler

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-13047570 love this

my ohs niece isn't invited- we have been together 4 years and i have met her twice- she is 15 but never makes an effect to see us- therefore we put on oh's brother's invite- ???? and ????? (his gf) and didnt invite neice
i was fine with this- and so was oh. mil2b said shes the only grandaughter that isnt invited and its not really fair. i said- well ive seen her twice and money is tight so she isn't getting an invite!

sorry bit long winded!!


loving the article!

Rahven

I was just reading this too. Dreading sending out some of the invites without a plus 1 but really can't justify spending money for someone I don't know!

Magicboo

we didn't put any plus 1's on our invites-we're limited on numbers because of the costs, so why would we want to invite people we don't know when there are people we do know who we would love to invite if we had the money!
However, I had a very well worded letter from my Uncle saying that my 17 yr old cousin would have liked to have bought her boyfriend to the wedding, but they understood this would most likely not be possible, so would I invite him for the evening, then the cousin & him would come to the wedding, go off and have a meal somewhere in the afternoon, and come back for the evening reception! I was glad they hadn't put any pressure on me to invite him to the day and was happy to go along with it, but my parents were livid that a 17 yr old girl expected her boyfriend to come along, and refused to come along without him!! What a difference a generation makes!!
I've been to a wedding by myself with 260 guests where I didn't know anyone except the bride & groom, which was a bit daunting, but at a wedding, everyone is so friendly, it's not like you're going to be stuck in a corner with no one to talk to! I had a great time!

laura2481

OMG plus ones!! I was spitting feathers when my OH's auntie added a plus one for his cousin without asking, for a girlfriend he's just started going out with and she hasn't even met yet- and then when we had a few people cancel and we said it's ok she can come- she came back with 'oh she might be working that weekend afterall we'll let you know' are you s***ing kidding me?! Arrrgh. rant over.

twirlypinky

Ah, this is one plus point of a wedding abroad. We invited every soul we knew, plus their partners and children, on the basis that only 10% of them would come. There will be 19 of us!

sharpee

We decided on a small and intimate wedding to avoid this (well and the fact I have a family of 5 and H2B is 50+!!!):o

They only person we don't know is my friends GF but knowing how lovely my friend is (he was my plus 1 to my Mums second wedding and was an absolute treasure on the day and a lot of help) that we know his girlfriend will be the same. Plus she's the same age,a teacher and has the same interests as my brothers girlfiend so hoping everyone will get on.

We've just got to tackle why we're not inviting 95% of his family as they all seem to think they have a right to come. I am half tempted to say fine but you have to pay for yourselves as its £90 per person and I know none of them will a) travel the 300 miles to get there or b) pay the costs.;)

steph3008

this is my biggest dilema at the moment plus one it has even caused a big family arguement, due to me having a lot of cousins coming to the day i couldn't afford to invite their partners so to be fair i have only invited the partners who are married and have stated that all partners can comwe in night but if anyopne drops out then and i have enough room i will invite all their partners as i didn't want to single anyone out... everyone has been fine with this except my one auntie who im not very close to anyway, has kicked off big style over me not inviting the partner of my cousin's partner.... who i have met one and then not talked to them and just got snubbed by them.... its driving me nuts lol... as i have stood my ground and they have stood theirs. they have all decided not to come so and now i have the room for all my other cousins partners to come they are gonna be happy.. however with 12 weeks til my wedding i think the mood feels like a ticking bomb awaiting to explode again
and the rest of my family seam to afraid to comment on anything as they are not wanting to get the brunt of it either.

Weddings who would have them

looktothefuture

I've only allowed plus 1's for those who are family or know no one else at the wedding (plus 1's are for my mom, dad, stepfather, FIL2B and I've paired my great aunt with my grandfather) - the only other 2 people who've we've allowed plus 1's for are my best friend and a very close male friend coming all the way from South Africa to come to our wedding and who's going to be either seperated or divorced by that time (funnily enough who once briefly "dated" each other many years ago!) - and I'm very much hoping they'll have 10 years of catching up to do so won't need thier plus 1's! Am I mean? LOL!

MissGG

OMG - PLUS BLOODY ONES! I'm not even getting married until June 2012 and already we have had 'heated discussions' on this. My MIL2B is adamant that my H2B's older sister must be permitted a plus one. His sister is a 33 year old woman who will be surrounded by her own family and is actually a bridesmaid too (to keep the peace).

MIL2Bs reasoning went like this ...'well XX will DEFINETLEY have a boyfriend by then I know it and, if not, she will need a plus one anyway and can take a freind'.........erm.........excuse me, i'm supposed to include on my guest list either an imaginary boyfriend who doesn't yet exist or a friend I have never met in my life - at £80 a head - no way! Forget who I upset, that is just plain ridiculous. Maybe a friend of hers in the evening if there is any leaway but not a sit down meal and a full day invite!

Rant over. For now, until this conversation repeats itself which I know without doubt it will lol

codemonkey

Arrrgh. Plus ones. Trying to find a balance in our guestlist is more bleedin complicated than trying to bring peace to the Middle East. If it's not plus ones its children, if it's not that then it's couples splitting up or entering into open relationships (does that mean I have to invite their OHs)???

rubyrara

I'm with you guys all the way...guest list is written, but invites have to be written yet, so I might accidentally miss the plus ones off....

My MIL2B wanted to invite the parents of my two brother-in-laws to be to our wedding (ie not really family, but married into like me) which her 2 daughters themselves thought was outrageous...so luckily that put a stop to that. Then there is the cousins, who no-one really sees but feels like they should invite, with a plus one, and when the aunts and uncles (brothers and sisters of my MIL2B) themselves dont speak to each other anymore because they had a big fall out!

What a mess and wedding in less than 15 weeks now.....