CSA Payments seem way too high - HELP!

tsstss7

tsstss7 wrote: »

:eek::eek::eek::money::money::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::money::money:

Sorry my 3 yr old posted that lol

clearingout

You're asking for sympathy from a bunch of people who, on the whole, receive nothing in child maintenance or receive far less than they should. If we got what we were owed, we wouldn't be here! Everyone else is here 'on the other side' as a result of CSA errors. You have been given good advice but you're ignoring it and choosing to focus on the wrongs and rights of moving on, having more children etc. etc. It's not about that.

1. You won't get sympathy from those of us who receive nothing at all. It's not funny trying to support your children when your ex is messing about. It is far easier for me to see the ex partner's point of view than it is yours - all I'm seeing is someone moaning about having been caught out not paying (I realise there's far more to it than this, though, so apologies for the bluntness, I am sure you can see where I'm coming from!).

2. You have learnt valuable lessons. The main one being that no matter what side of the fence you're on, the CSA are next to useless. Keep everything. Tell them even the smallest change of circumstance immediately on the phone and then follow it up in writing, and send it via recorded delivery. The CSA are a job to do in their own right - you need to treat it as such.

3. You and your husband are adults. You can't expect the CSA or anyone here to take responsiblity for you. That is a lesson many of us have learnt as a direct result of splitting up with a partner we have children with. You have the internet, read the information on the CSA website. What you don't understand - ASK here as there is a lot of support for people who are genuinely struggling with getting their heads round their systems (let's face it, CSA staff aren't great at getting their heads round their own systems!) and working things out. You won't get support if you don't face your responsibilities.

4. Get your file from the CSA. Work out if their calculations are correct and you're paying the correct amount based on the arrears you owe. If this is the case, then job done. You will have to live with it. If they're wrong, you may well be able to get the payments reduced. But you can't do that without the file and a calculator!

5. Your partner's child has a right to a relationship with his child. The courts will deal with that for him if he wants that. Again, he needs to take responsibility and not moan about it. You don't need a solicitor generally - the courts are pro children seeing both their parents. Google Families Need Fathers and you will find a wealth of information and experience on just this issue.

grimsbyavon

with all respect 'clearing out', neither myself nor my husband are after sympathy from anyone, i was just asking for a bit of information or advice from people in the same situation, and am grateful for what everyone, including yourself, have written.

like i have said in multiple posts on this thread, we are not trying to get out of making payments. He has been making payments throughout his working life, maybe they were a lower amount at times but at the end of the day it is better that he has been supporting his son with regular payments than nothing at all. After all, like you said, some non resident parents dont pay a single penny.

i appreciate that many of you may be single parents or not currently in a relationship with the partner of your child but surely we are all sharing one common thing, we all want wants best for our own children. I just dont see how when we are actually paying money each month why we are looked at as being the bad ones here for questioning a high amount being paid. It shouldnt be us, the ones who are paying, that people should take their anger out on for their ex partners etc not paying.

we have contacted the csa today and our reassessment is being put on high priority as the lady on the phone said the amount they had taken seemed a lot for the situation my husband is now in, i.e working part time, with 2 other children to support. I am not saying that our children should be priority as the other child also has financial needs etc, we just want to make sure the payments made are as fair as they can be for both parties involved as at the end of the day there are 3 children to consider not just his son nor just our 2 children.

i just hope that people can stop reading my posts as though we are against making fair payments to his ex when this is not the case, i feel the way some people are responding is that we have never made payments to his ex and now have been caught and have to pay the price, that is not the case and i have tried explaining that.

FBaby

grimsbyavon wrote: »

but at the end of the day it is better that he has been supporting his son with regular payments than nothing at all. After all, like you said, some non resident parents dont pay a single penny.

But that could be said of your children too, after all he is contributing towards them, which is better than if he was bringing nothing in.

I am playing devils advocate, you are clearly a caring person and do not intend to manipulate things to get away from contributing towards your partner's other child, and yes, it is normal that you should think of your children first, but what people are trying to say here is that your partner shouldn't. The above is acceptable for you to say, but wouldn't be for your partner to think.

grimsbyavon

i see what you are saying, but it has never been about not paying or being unfair etc to the ex and their son. it has always been about how much they are taking now that doesnt seem to add up (due to the fact he has been making payments etc)

the amount they say he owes, well, i just dont know how they get to that figure. Put it his way, if he was paying the flat rate on the understanding he only had the one child, (not the additional 2 which he now has), the amount is practically double what the total would be if he had paid the said amount every month of the childs life. This is what doesnt make sense, that is the reason we are currently getting the account re-assessed and why i was questioning the high amount in the first place. It isnt that he never paid and has now been 'caught out' as people have put it. i am sure anyone in our situation wouldnt want to be paying more than we have to, as we, aswell as the ex, has bills to pay etc. Its not we want to pay as little as possible, we just want to pay what my husband owes and nothing more.

vasseur

grimsbyavon wrote: »

i see what you are saying, but it has never been about not paying or being unfair etc to the ex and their son. it has always been about how much they are taking now that doesnt seem to add up (due to the fact he has been making payments etc) But again the CSA were under the assumption that his salary was much higher and he was only supporting one child

the amount they say he owes, well, i just dont know how they get to that figure see above and because he was only paying what he could afford without telling him his change of circumstances arrears have accrued.. Put it his way, if he was paying the flat rate on the understanding he only had the one child, (not the additional 2 which he now has), the amount is practically double what the total would be if he had paid the said amount every month of the childs life. This is what doesnt make sense, that is the reason we are currently getting the account re-assessed and why i was questioning the high amount in the first place. It isnt that he never paid and has now been 'caught out' as people have put it. i am sure anyone in our situation wouldnt want to be paying more than we have to, as we, aswell as the ex, has bills to pay etc. Its not we want to pay as little as possible, we just want to pay what my husband owes and nothing more.

I think it all comes down to non-communication with the CSA. Do as clearing out has suggested and get your file off the CSA and sort out the calculations yourself. You will find a wealth of knowledgeable people on this board who can help with any queries you may have.

If it turns out that their calculation is correct then you will just have to find a way of getting through each month. Check the OS and DFW boards for ways to cut expenditure. As someone who hasn't had any maintenance since before Xmas I have found those boards invaluable.

mrsspendalot

I think being an NRPP is one of the hardest positions to be put in

OP, I hope you can get a straight answer about how the assessment has been arrived at. It does seem high, but could it be that they have added WTC & CTC to his part time earnings, which makes it look like he has a higher income, and therefore a higher assessment? That could explain why it is so high.

If it is high because no reassessments have been carried out at various points of changes of circumstances, then there is probably nothing that can be done. However, it will be a valuable lesson to keep the CSA informed of all future changes.

As an NRPP too (and PWC) I can fully understand your concern towards your own children. I think that is completely natural. I will always prioritise my own children too, as they are mine and as their mother my job is to ensure they are provided for. It's not easy having someone else dictate how your family can live in this way. The way to try and deal with it is not to think about the PWC or the child, and see the figure as a bill. Imagine it is your gas or electric bill which has just doubled - you would simply have to find the money. Mentally detach all emotion from the payment - it is a bill like your council tax, rent/mortgage etc. It is amazing how quickly you adjust to not having the money when you have to. My ex stopped paying maintenance for a whole year, and at the time he was paying me £60 a week for our children. The sudden loss of that came as a massive shock, but I soon managed to adjust my budget to take it into account.

clearingout

grimsbyavon wrote: »

with all respect 'clearing out', neither myself nor my husband are after sympathy from anyone, i was just asking for a bit of information or advice from people in the same situation, and am grateful for what everyone, including yourself, have written.

like i have said in multiple posts on this thread, we are not trying to get out of making payments. He has been making payments throughout his working life, maybe they were a lower amount at times but at the end of the day it is better that he has been supporting his son with regular payments than nothing at all. After all, like you said, some non resident parents dont pay a single penny.

i appreciate that many of you may be single parents or not currently in a relationship with the partner of your child but surely we are all sharing one common thing, we all want wants best for our own children. I just dont see how when we are actually paying money each month why we are looked at as being the bad ones here for questioning a high amount being paid. It shouldnt be us, the ones who are paying, that people should take their anger out on for their ex partners etc not paying.

we have contacted the csa today and our reassessment is being put on high priority as the lady on the phone said the amount they had taken seemed a lot for the situation my husband is now in, i.e working part time, with 2 other children to support. I am not saying that our children should be priority as the other child also has financial needs etc, we just want to make sure the payments made are as fair as they can be for both parties involved as at the end of the day there are 3 children to consider not just his son nor just our 2 children.

i just hope that people can stop reading my posts as though we are against making fair payments to his ex when this is not the case, i feel the way some people are responding is that we have never made payments to his ex and now have been caught and have to pay the price, that is not the case and i have tried explaining that.

best interests of the children?! No, my ex hasn't acted in their best interests for years. Only person he's interested in is him and where his next holiday is coming from!

I don't think any of us have read your posts as if you're trying to get out of paying. What we're frustrated with is the fact there is little we can do to help until you either get the file or you recognise there is little to be done unless you take control of the situation yourselves. The CSA are a law unto themselves and make life difficult no matter which side of the fence you are sitting on. I am sad to say that they only thing you can do is keep on top of it - shouldn't have to in the way that many of us have to (recorded letters, doing our own calculations, phoning them on a regular basis etc. etc. etc. ) but that's life. It's imperfect so we try and make the best of it. I appreciate your frustrations, I really do.

grimsbyavon

I would just like to thank everyone for all their opinions and information regarding this matter.

Like i say, we all have one thing in common and that is we want whats best for our children :-)

I suppose that a lot of this has come about due to my husband not keeping the csa informed of changes of circumstances, he probably thought he was doing the right thing by actually making regular payments (all be it reduced payments) yet the csa was obviously expecting more and thats why we now have this debt. He should have contacted them regularly and updated all information upon every change then maybe the payments wouldnt be so high now.

As many people have said, there is a lot of good advice from people regarding this matter on here, and i will definately suggest to my husband that he requests his file and calculates things himself. That way he can maybe prove certain things and possibly/hopefully get the payments down slightly, especially if what some people say is true that they have no idea how to work out what is owed on a debt in the first place.

like 'mrsspendalot' said, let that be a lesson to us, we will definately be keeping their number on speed dial for any further changes to stop this hassle and stress in the future!

vasseur

grimsbyavon wrote: »

we will definately be keeping their number on speed dial for any further changes to stop this hassle and stress in the future!

Yes but get them to call you straight back once you've got through because the calls are rarely short!

All the best