CSA Payments seem way too high - HELP!

kelloggs36

I was a PWC who had to go without ANY child support for 8 years whilst my ex lied and ducked and dived his way out of it - or at least for a while! In the end it caught up with him and he had to pay me 30k altogether - he was forced to pay 25k as a lump sum which he did by remortgaging his house. He blames me for his situation, where I argue that had he paid when he was supposed to have, he would not have been in the position he was in. He was offered an agreement years previous of HALF what the CSA wanted - but because he had lied to them, he relied on not getting caught and so refused and thought he would have the nil assessment forever. Sadly for him, his lies all unravelled and he was forced into a corner - pay up or go to prison - he chose to pay up. Now he is bitter as I have had a lump sum - poor him, he was struggling for a while - but to be honest, that wasn't my problem. Not once did he consider that his daughter had to go without because we were struggling - we were relying on charity shop clothes, the bare basics to eat just so I could pay the mortgage. I went to work in London in order to pay the mortgage and support us and had absolutely no life whatsoever, other than work and looking after my daughter. Had he paid his child support, I could have treated my daughter, and maybe she would have had a better life. AS it was, we struggled for years, and things only improved when I met my current husband who took us both on as a package, and he supported my daughter as his own. He didn't begrudge it in the slightest as she was part of the family - and things didn't change when we had our 2 children - my dd is equal in his eyes. All the while we went without, I fought with the view that I had nothing to lose but to get my ex to pay. I was fortunate because I met a new partner, many are not, and struggle for years and years with no support but nobody seems to care about them - yes they may get tax credits, but this should not replace support from the parents. When parents split up, they cannot split up from their children - and I strongly believe that both PWCs and NRPs need to remember that they already have children to support before they have more children - if they think they can't afford it, then wait or don't have more - you can't prioritise new children over existing children - they are equal and should be treated as such. I do think it awful that some PWCs don't allow their children contact with the other parent, and my personal belief is that all NRPs should be given free court access to make it fair.

tsstss7

:eek::eek::eek::money::money::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::money::money:

fannyanna wrote: »

Some good advice here. As others have suggested first of all contact the CSA to establish whether calculations are correct. It's also worth trying to negotiate a slight reduction in the amount of arrears you pay every month. They might not budge (as ultimately they can take up to 40% but you have nothing to lose from trying).

But ultimately it looks like he'll be paying back a fair wack for a while so as suggested by FBaby you might want to look at your budget to see how you can accomodate the payments.

As I said having been in a similar situation to you I really can sympathise. We both know that the maintenance has to be paid and from what you've said I have no doubt that you are fine with maintenance being paid. I think from an NRPP point of view it's unfortunate when things like this happen. I'm sure when most families have financial difficulties they tighten their belts and cut back to reduce their outgoings. However if you're an NRP you can't cut back with child maintenance and you still have to pay a set percentage (even though if you were still in the relationship you and the ex would probably cut back and provide slightly less for the child).

Ultimately as someone else said the CSA is generally unfair to all parties involved at some points. At some point it will be the NRP getting the raw deal and at some point it will be the PWC who gets shafted.

grimsbyavon

my husband was making payments when i first met him, but due to work situations when he was laid off he obviously couldnt afford to pay. when he did get back into work thats when he got a letter saying he was in thousands of pounds debt, but surely if he wasnt working they shouldnt be able to add up the amounts he was paying originally when in work as a debt. i.e he shouldnt have paid when he had no income. therfore are they in the wong saying he owes so much money and thats why the payments are so high now. As i keep saying we both know we have to pay for the child. Also even though he was making payments of a decent amount it has only just come to light that the csa havent been aware of our two children, in which case would they be able to reduce the debt as you get a discounted rate if supporting other children? what im trying to say is that for example, say he was paying £50 a month with them thinking he was single, when infact maybe he should have been paying £35 a month due to the fact he has two other children to support, would they be able to take into account the £15 overpayment and reduce the debt slightly? im not trying to leave his ex with no money at all, i wont the arrangement to be fair on both families as at the end of the day its the children that are missing out in both situations. i wish people would understand my situation in wanting whats best for my family at the same time as doing whats right for his other child, it seems some people have it in their heads that were against giving the ex any money what so ever and that is far from the truth!

AnxiousMum

Does your husband have copies of his notification to CSA of changes in circumstances and asking for reassessments? Or did he not ask for a reassessment? I don't know if they back date them if not requested or not.

re thinking that people are under the impression that you don't want to provide in any way for the husband's child - I think that it's just the way that some of your posts have been worded, maybe come across wrongly and not as intended. On a forum, people can only go by what is typed - remember there's no facial expressions, tones of voice etc., and sometimes it can make a big difference in how something is read.

If there were changes in circumstances reported, and there has been no reductions/recalculations made, then you should probably get a copy of your personal date file from them, and see exactly what info they do have on file.

fannyanna

tsstss7 wrote: »

:eek::eek::eek::money::money::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::money::money:

Confused.com????

grimsbyavon

my husband has no copies of anything apart from the latest statement saying the amount of debt he owes and that they are taking the percentage out of his earnings.

When it first came about we didnt have any children so he was just paying to support his son.

it wasnt till the last time he started a new job after being unemployed for around 6 months, (although during this time he was making regular payments, all be it low ones) that it came to our attention they didnt know about the children we now have. thats why im now thinking the payments are a bit high.

the fact is he couldnt pay so much due to being unemployed at times, yet it is like they feel he should have kept paying the amounts he was whilst employed and thats maybe where the debt has come from.

its not that he hasnt been making full stop like some poeple may believe.

i understand this is a strange situation and i might not be making everything seem clear to everyone else and the way i word things might sound different to what is intended when i write them. i am just trying to put what i feel and how things seem in my personal situation, whilst including relevant information

it is my first thread so am new to all this but am gratefull for all responses whether in favour or against my views, as it does let me see the situation from all points of view. thank you

vasseur

grimsbyavon wrote: »

my husband has no copies of anything apart from the latest statement saying the amount of debt he owes and that they are taking the percentage out of his earnings. Where the CSA is concerned it is paramount that you keep copies of ALL correspondence.

When it first came about we didnt have any children so he was just paying to support his son.

it wasnt till the last time he started a new job after being unemployed for around 6 months, (although during this time he was making regular payments, all be it low ones) that it came to our attention they didnt know about the children we now have. thats why im now thinking the payments are a bit high. If you didn't tell them about him being unemployed, then earning consierably less or having more children they are going to assume the circumstances are the same.

the fact is he couldnt pay so much due to being unemployed at times, yet it is like they feel he should have kept paying the amounts he was whilst employed and thats maybe where the debt has come from. Did he tell them that he was unemployed.

its not that he hasnt been making full stop like some poeple may believe. Unfortunately unless you tell them about change of circumstances, arrears will build up.

i understand this is a strange situation and i might not be making everything seem clear to everyone else and the way i word things might sound different to what is intended when i write them. i am just trying to put what i feel and how things seem in my personal situation, whilst including relevant information

it is my first thread so am new to all this but am gratefull for all responses whether in favour or against my views, as it does let me see the situation from all points of view. thank you

I've added a few points above.

fannyanna

I'm not sure they'll backdate the changes if you didn't originally tell them in the first place.

My husband lost his job and we told the CSA a week after he lost his job and the reduced liability only took effect from when we told them. From this I've learnt a very valuable lesson - let them know of changes as soon as they happen.

Rebecca01

You seriously need to write to them recorded delivery , tell them about your two children and describe his periods when he was in and out Of work.

They can change the assessment if they have not included children, they did with us but you do need to inform them of facts and this is best done in writing.

kelloggs36

grimsbyavon wrote: »

my husband was making payments when i first met him, but due to work situations when he was laid off he obviously couldnt afford to pay. when he did get back into work thats when he got a letter saying he was in thousands of pounds debt, but surely if he wasnt working they shouldnt be able to add up the amounts he was paying originally when in work as a debt. i.e he shouldnt have paid when he had no income. that would depend on whether he told them at the time - if he didn't and told them when he got the bill it is too late - he should have notified them when it happened. If he did and he can prove it, then they can indeed go back and correct it.therfore are they in the wong saying he owes so much money and thats why the payments are so high now. As i keep saying we both know we have to pay for the child. Also even though he was making payments of a decent amount it has only just come to light that the csa havent been aware of our two children, in which case would they be able to reduce the debt as you get a discounted rate if supporting other children? again, that would depend on whether they were notified at the time, if not then no, they cannot backdate the change in circumstanceswhat im trying to say is that for example, say he was paying £50 a month with them thinking he was single, when infact maybe he should have been paying £35 a month due to the fact he has two other children to support, would they be able to take into account the £15 overpayment and reduce the debt slightly? im not trying to leave his ex with no money at all, i wont the arrangement to be fair on both families as at the end of the day its the children that are missing out in both situations. i wish people would understand my situation in wanting whats best for my family at the same time as doing whats right for his other child, it seems some people have it in their heads that were against giving the ex any money what so ever and that is far from the truth!

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