Love of your life?

bluebell13

tesuhoha wrote: »

My 24 year old daughter is with a man who is less than wonderful. She says that not everyone meets the love of their life and she can't see herself ever leaving him because he is all she has. Suppose she left him and then didn't meet anyone else. I say she won't meet anyone better until she leaves him but she is frightened of being alone.

He certainly leaves a lot to be desired.

As hard as I find it being on my own with the children, I look at my ex now and see the same controlling, lying man who was with me. If I do stay on my own it will be better than the life I had with him (this is not me being bitter, by the way, his own family say far worse things about him!) I hope your daughter finds the courage to go and get the sort of partner she deserves before children come along because then its far more difficult.

tesuhoha

bluebell13 wrote: »

As hard as I find it being on my own with the children, I look at my ex now and see the same controlling, lying man who was with me. If I do stay on my own it will be better than the life I had with him (this is not me being bitter, by the way, his own family say far worse things about him!) I hope your daughter finds the courage to go and get the sort of partner she deserves before children come along because then its far more difficult.

This is what I am afraid of. I'm afraid of her marrying him. I told her that if she married him her life would be nothing but housework but she said isn't that what a wife is supposed to do? She doesn't know what its like to have a decent man and to be taken out and treated with respect.

I hope you meet someone lovely.

Indout96

I met my wife 29 years ago when I was 20, she was 28 getting a divorse and had a little boy of 3, my family said I was mad :mad:

They were all wrong :rotfl: we were married 11 months later, had our daughter 15 months after that and have just had our 28th anniversary. I never dreamt I would find someone as wonderful as she is but I did :beer:

sjc3

tesuhoha wrote: »

My 24 year old daughter is with a man who is less than wonderful. She says that not everyone meets the love of their life and she can't see herself ever leaving him because he is all she has. Suppose she left him and then didn't meet anyone else. I say she won't meet anyone better until she leaves him but she is frightened of being alone.

He certainly leaves a lot to be desired.

That is so sad, she must have incredibly low self esteem. Fancy at just 24 settling for someone who will "just do, incase no-one else comes along"

candygirl

tesuhoha wrote: »

My 24 year old daughter is with a man who is less than wonderful. She says that not everyone meets the love of their life and she can't see herself ever leaving him because he is all she has. Suppose she left him and then didn't meet anyone else. I say she won't meet anyone better until she leaves him but she is frightened of being alone.

He certainly leaves a lot to be desired.

Ditto hun, and sadly all we can do is sit back and watch it all turn to sh1te for them.Is he violent like my SIL?:mad::mad:

Tropez

I like to think that I have.

I have a wonderful partner. She is beautiful, affectionate, supportive, intelligent, driven... heck, any number of very positive qualities.

I love every moment I spend with her, whether we're out doing something, or just lazing on the sofa watching tv. When she's not here, I miss her and I'm always happy when she gets back from work so I can see her again.

Kate78

sjc3 wrote: »

That is so sad, she must have incredibly low self esteem. Fancy at just 24 settling for someone who will "just do, incase no-one else comes along"

That was me, with my ex, but when we finally split up it was like a liberation, a whole new beginning.

I was totally fine with being alone, bought my own home and then - bingo - met my now future husband.

And now I finally get it, the songs, the movies, the romance novels... ahh, he makes me feel like a teenager (although I never felt this good when I was a teenager).

tesuhoha

candygirl wrote: »

Ditto hun, and sadly all we can do is sit back and watch it all turn to sh1te for them.Is he violent like my SIL?:mad::mad:

No but he takes her for granted, ignores her, doesn't really talk to her and when he does he is only interested in himself. He never takes her out apart from the supermarket. When she lived with him for a few months she was very miserable and used to ring me up crying to come over here. He was always stonewalling her. She begged him to go to the pub and even swimming but he always refused saying it was too cold.

He also used to make her go out in the dark on her own to buy electricity and it was a dark deserted area. She used to walk to work in the dark at 5 in the morning down a road where lots of lorries went past but hardly any pedestrians. While she was doing this I was besides myself but he never used to worry.

We managed to persuade her to move out but she is still seeing him regularly. He has a car now but nothing much has changed. Recently when she went to see him he said that buying food for her was too expensive and that they would have to eat plain pasta and grated cheese so she bought herself a ready meal. Its not as if he spends any money on her anyway.

She has got very low self esteem and I don't know why because she is a beautiful girl.

I booked a table for my birthday for the 5 of us which included him and when she asked him he said he didnt know, he might be bored. I therefore think he has probably been bored all the times he has visited us before. Christmas Day before last he went to bed at 8 and this last Boxing Day he fell asleep a short time after arriving at our relatives' house who he had never met before. Therefore no more invitations will be going out to him. My daughter agrees wholeheartedly with this.

Sorry, just needed a bit of a moan.

LadyMorticia

Tesu - Your poor daughter. I really feel for her. She's the same age as me and she shouldn't settle for someone like that just because she's worried she won't find anyone else. A couple of years ago I was in a bad relationship. I was upset when he went to visit his family in Ireland and then decided to not come back, but after that I was relieved because of all the crap he put me through. Your daughter needs to see how wonderful she really is and hopefully find a man who will treat her well and like the beautiful person she is.

[Deleted User]

I havnt yet : ( Ive had two failed long term relationships and when i do met men they get far too heavy too quickly. Im very independant and own my own home, car etc. All the men i met are really lovely to begin with, they all start of with wanting to look after me and are very sure of themselves, then someway along the line when they probably realise ive got friends and a life they try to start changing me. Theyve all ended up moaning that i dont want them or need them and end up starting rows and feel very insecure with me. Is there any men out there that can handle a modern woman. The last one said when he asks me to marry him if i say no thatll be that, he wont ask again. Trouble is he wanted to move in and live with me within the 1st 6months and marriage within a few years. He tried to plan my life for me the way he wanted it. I dont want to think about marriage at such an early stage.