parent buys daughter a house.

Yorkie1

In addition to all the other comments, at present you rent your house from the council so they are responsible for all the upkeep.

If you scrape together money from your mother and son to buy it, and you are on benefits as a result of caring for your mother, how do you raise funds when there is a capital outlay needed on the house? The roof leaks, the boiler needs replacing, etc. You will have no emergency fund at all.

I too think it's a really bad idea what you're proposing.

rising_from_the_ashes

I'm afraid I agree with the others in that you should not be taking your son's money into account - it is his inheritance from his late father.

I am sure he may have plans for this money - such as maybe using it for university or a deposit for a house etc and it would be extremely unfair to expect him to wait 14 years (or even until you're gone as you suggest in a later post). I'm sure your son would prefer this than to have to wait several decades to inherit a house.

If your mother wants to sell her house and move in with you then that would be her choice and you could use that money to pay for her care (with you providing) although to me that doesn't seem much different from paying the state to do it.

At the end of the day, her house is HER asset and if she needs the capital from it to look after her needs in her old age then that's what it should be used for.

Valli

max123 wrote: »

he says im 71yrs old and when im gone, you, your brother and sister get a third each of my house,

Assuming he doesn't suffer a decline in health and has to pay for support...

shegirl

max123 wrote: »

i have asked my dad what to do, he usually gives good advice. he says do it, he says im 71yrs old and when im gone, you, your brother and sister get a third each of my house, to pay the lad back 5 times what he put in. oh i soo dont want to rip off my own family, but wouldnt it be nice to know you have money to leave your kids one day. and i truely cant tell you how much i would love to live with mum, we are like sisters, if you think im jumping for joy, you couldnt be more wrong, i havent stopped crying for days, worrying about mum.

Wow,I wish I could lose 2 years in less than an hour...he was 73 not long ago :rotfl:

If you do this you should be disgusted with yourself.You are being selfish.There is no need for you to buy the house and there is no need for you to take the money of your mother and your son. Move your mother in and forget about buying the house until you can do so without taking the money of others!!!!!!

ViolaLass

I wonder how much money you would be losing by not working full time and taking benefits to care for your mother instead? I imagine the benefits would add up to less than you could earn.

Cheeky_Monkey

I agree 100% with both of Shegirl's posts.

A blind man could see that the OP is thinking of no-one but herself and trying to screw her mum and son out of their money to buy her a house - simples!

Despite being asked by several posters, she refuses to say why she has to buy her council house now rather than when she has her inheritance money in the future. IMO, her silence speaks volumes.

The title of this thread says it all IMO

Littlered81

I'm a social worker and have spent seven years working in Adult Social Care. There are several facts I want to highlight to you.

You have never mentioned your mother's feelings on selling her house and moving in with you, is this what she wants? Obviously I don't know your mother's needs, but if she is looking at moving in to a residential or nursing home, this is because she needs round the clock care. I noticed in one of your responses you suggest you could get a part time bar job to pay your son back. The chances are you would not be able to leave your mother that often and for the length of time of a shift at a pub. To that I would also like to point out the huge strain of being a full time carer. Your home and life will essentially be dominated by the care you provide for your mother. Some people are better equipped to manage this than others. From a personal point I have found that people who have a large support network of people prepared to help out, either with care or other tasks, cope better. However, this is no guarantee and the strain on your relationship with your mother as well as the complete change to your lifestyle need to be thought through carefully. I have known carers who have had difficutly being able to go and do basic tasks, such as weekly shopping, trips to the bank, the hairdressers, dentists, etc.

I would go back and look at the link to the deprivation of assets information you were given earlier on. Giving you all the proceeds from her house could give you both a major headache in the future. If you find you need a break from caring, or perhaps need two carers to lift her or use a hoist, the local authority will deem her to have intentionally given you the money to avoid paying for care, as by now she clearly recognises that she needs support, as do you. She will therefore have to pay for carers herself. It may become too much to care for her at home, either because of her increasing needs or you coping as a full time carer. If she moves in to a home at a later stage, she will again still be liable to meet the full cost. Fees vary from around £400-£1200 per week for care as a very rough figure.

As a last point, I think you should be aware that depriving her of capital could also affect her pension credit, so she may end up with less income than you have counted for.

max123

thanks for comments, i have taken them on board, it has made me realise that i cant do this to my son. if i ran this past a solicitor he is going to ask, how are you going to pay you son back, his money? so i am thankful people have raised that question. does any one know if i am allowed a tiny mortgage, in my name with the council, if im not working? say 14000, over 14 or even25 yrs. so small infact that i dont claim for the interest on dss, but pay it myself. this way i borrow nothing off my son. there is no way i could ask dss to pay mortgage interest, as inm already unemployed, so rightly so, that is a no brainer, but could i have a mortgage so mall, over so lng that i pay it all myself, and my son pays nothing. would the council agree to this ? if my mum kept her money and moved in, she would have to pay £100 a week rent, we would not qualify for housing beefit. and she would be taxed on the home she doesnt live in. many thanks.

ViolaLass

max123 wrote: »

if my mum kept her money and moved in, she would have to pay £100 a week rent, we would not qualify for housing benefit. and she would be taxed on the home she doesn't live in. many thanks.

Why would she be taxed on the other home? She could still sell it.

At the moment, it just sounds like you will do ANYTHING to avoid having to spend your inheritance before it gets to you. Your mother's money is just that, your mother's money. If she needs to spend it to be comfortable in her old age, you should be encouraging her to do so.

thistledome

max123 wrote: »

if my mum kept her money and moved in, she would have to pay £100 a week rent, we would not qualify for housing beefit. and she would be taxed on the home she doesnt live in. many thanks.

She wouldn't have a home she doesn't live in. She would sell her home and keep the capital and move into your rented house with you.

Your Mum would be very ill-advised to do what you're proposing. If it doesn't work out for her or you at your house, she will have no home and no money.