parent buys daughter a house.

ViolaLass

I would also question the wisdom of tying everyone's money up in an asset. Do you have an emergency fund? Does your mother? Or would it all go into the house?

max123

thanks everyone for your comments, good or bad, i needed to hear the truth. i dont know if i can do that to my sons savings. my dad tells me to do it, he says he is 73 now and when hes gone me , and my brother and sister will get about 15000 from dad. guess where my third will go, u got it, my son. however this is not a good plan i know and i am seriously wondering what to do ??? if only i could raise that money without asking my son. if i could work and take mum in i would do it tomorrow, but i cant, she needs looking after.

ViolaLass

You still haven't explained why you need to buy your council house. Why can't you continue to rent it or find somewhere else to rent?

sp1987

Move mum in to your house with you and son. Mum sells her house. Mum pays her way to you via some of her capital so family can afford to all live together (essentially covering the costs of having her). You continue to claim whatever you are claiming now that you still can then (+ e.g. carers allowance if applicable). You may still qualify for housing benefit or similar as mum is not your partner and so her capital won't be counted as yours and you will not own a property.

Nobody owns any property, but your mum and your son both still have their capital. When your mum/or dad eventually die you can use whatever inheritance you then have from each to buy a house, in addition to a mortgage where necessary. Son can use his to start his own life, not subsidise yours whilst quietly resenting it.

Would I give my mother any savings I had at 16 to help house an elderly relative? Of course. Would I spend every day resenting it wishing she had picked an obvious solution so I did not have to go without savings I had received from a deceased relative of mine? Absolutely.

It seems very, very simple. Although your son may agree, it is not the same as what he would want. Do the best for him and your mother, as they both deserve that and there is a way that everyone can be accomodated and under the same roof.

bluenose1

would you not consider waiting until you can afford a mortgage yourself rather than using sons savings? I can see were you are coming from as it would eventually be your sons inheritance but that could be a long way off, he may get married and have kids himself by then.
think I would ask mum to move in with you, I assume she gets state RP and AA etc so she will have an income to live on. Then as you say eventually you could afford to buy from future inheritance.

max123

i have asked my dad what to do, he usually gives good advice. he says do it, he says im 71yrs old and when im gone, you, your brother and sister get a third each of my house, to pay the lad back 5 times what he put in. oh i soo dont want to rip off my own family, but wouldnt it be nice to know you have money to leave your kids one day. and i truely cant tell you how much i would love to live with mum, we are like sisters, if you think im jumping for joy, you couldnt be more wrong, i havent stopped crying for days, worrying about mum.

ViolaLass

max123 wrote: »

oh i soo dont want to rip off my own family, but wouldnt it be nice to know you have money to leave your kids one day.

But it's not OK to take their money and spend it in the meantime leaving them with the promise of money one day. This money is your son's money NOW and it should stay that way, regardless of what he may or may not inherit one day.

thistledome

You still haven't said why you need to take all your mother's money to buy your council house. This would leave her with nothing in the event of you not being able to care for her.

Why can't you continue to rent your house and just let your Mum move in?

Your Mum would be very unwise to leave herself with no capital and no house of her own.

Pitlanepiglet

Money left to your son should be in trust for him, I doubt that you will be able to access it.

Please answer why you need to buy the house that you currently rent.

annie123

I think your dad is seeing this as an opportunity for you to own a property. This is a separate issue from your mums needs.

Have you asked the council for a price yet?
would they consider part buy part rent?

Being a property owner has it's positives and negatives; with no savings left and no job income how would you cope if the roof needed doing, or discover that buildings insurance doesn't cover you for damage caused by a tree falling on it, wet rot, dry rot, ceiling plater falls off, etc? You could end up, up s*it creak with out a paddle with teenage kid/s and an elderly mum all relying on you to sort it out.

You are adding financial pressures having reduced available savings/assets. This is not the best situation to be in, let alone having deliberately put yourself in it.

Would you consider mum coming to stay with you, ( she can pay housekeeping money from her savings) without her selling the flat? or is it mum can come but only if she sells and I can buy?