Real life MMD: Should I cough up?

Carrie.F

You posted this on the 8th of April - I assume the "celebration " was on the 1St and they know how you would react :rotfl:
Put in a tenner and tell them its your birthday next week :beer:

katiemay_2

happyinflorida wrote: »

Normally in offices where I've worked, whether you're there or not, makes no difference, you are expected to contribute to people's birthdays.

If however, you're facing financial hardship, then just have a word and offer either what you can afford or say you're broke and really cannot afford it, I'm sure they won't mind if it's true! As long as you're not going out enjoying yourself other nights of the week?!

It's not a great deal nowadays, £5, so if you can afford it, why on earth are you asking?!

I agree - everyone in my office knows that I went through an IVA recently so am on a strict budget - i contribute, say, £2 for everyone else's £5 - and no-one minds because they understand the situation.

Otherwise, if you are solvent (!) and it is the norm - as in you would have paid up had you been in the office that day - then you will look tight if you don't. If you wouldn't have contributed had you been asked then don't.

omendata

The only people who waste an iota of their precious time over this dilemma have no testicles - If you dont want to just tell them whats the problem.

This country has gone mad people are so afraid of offending anyone now its ridiculous.
Afraid to look tight - so what?

So you change your principals because of what other people think - jeezus what a country full of ball-less men this is!

Say it as it is - speak your mind and you will have a much easier life - you may not be well liked as people dont often like hearing the truth but your life is more important than a 5 quid extortion!

stmartinsdiver

Heads you lose, tails you don't win. I'd give "junior" the £5 as the deed was done in good faith, but suggest that only those going to present should be asked - in advance if it's the norm for the office to give someone a present + cakes. I worked in a large office where the norm was for the person who had the birthday to provide the cakes - most people did not really like doing it but no one had the nerve to say no and it ended up with people who did not even know each other footing quite large bills. Once it's in place it's hard to stop it but most people only liked doing it when it was kept to a small group who knew each other well and had worked together for years.

Equatorial_Guinea

Hello,

I am the person who sent the question in. I just read through all of your advice, thank you.

In the end, I just sent a polite e-mail to the junior staffer and said that I wasn't there for the event and I was not going to contribute. Even before I declined to contribute I was never told what the birthday gift was.

There are about 90 people in our office. I have been employed by the company for 6 months. In that time there have been 6 birthdays, 8 departure gifts and 1 wedding. I am on holiday now, but in checking my work e-mail there have been 2 more birthdays and 2 more departures. One of the departures was for the contractor whose birthday it was in my original question.

I'm on a decent salary, but at 5 pounds a pop it's starting to get pricey-- and I would hate for the junior staff, who don't make much money, to be out of pocket.

There is no set way we are asked for contributions. Sometimes it's beforehand, sometimes it's after. Sometimes we have to cross our names off on a sheet. Sometimes we are told to give 5 pounds. Sometimes we can contribute as much or little as we want.

I have only declined twice. Once for the case above and the second time for a leaving gift for someone I didn't know at all, didn't work with, didn't even know what she looked like.

For my birthday, I purposely kept quiet, but someone found out. A couple days later I was asked to come to an urgent meeting. When I arrived in the conference room there were 8 people there wishing me a happy birthday.

I'm not against birthday celebrations, but it would be nice if we could do them once per month-- everyone who has a birthday in June, for example we celebrate on June 1.

Thanks for the advice.
E.G.

Mistral001

The custom is to buy the others in your workplace buns on your birthday.

I would pay the £5 though. Not worth falling out with idiots. I would leave it to the head of the firm to decide on such practices obviously introduced by a self-appointed disillioned person probaly not in a vety high position in the firm but wanting to throw their wait about.

janiebquick

It does seem a bit harsh to ask you to cough up if you weren't actually there.