Real life MMD: Should I cough up?

noodle

Would you have put £5 in if you'd been there? If so, then maybe pay-up, but warn the collector not to be so presumptive in the future.

Alternatively, and f you want to avoid being seen as tight, then give the collector £5 but insist that s/he puts it in a charity box or somesuch... your non-skinflint credentials are intact, and the collector has, rightly, 'suffered' due to spending someone elses money without asking first.

bluebird

No, you do not have to contribute the £5.00.

more of a case of would you have done so before?

Its a choice you would need to make but if it were me NO i would not cough up for someone i barely know.

Its very wrong of anyone assuming you'd pay,what gave them the right to decide you'd bung in a fiver?:mad:

NO NO and No again.

JoannaS_3

Hi there,

I don't think it is fair for the member of staff who arranged the cake etc to ask you to contribute when you weren't even there!

If they had gone round all staff and asked if they would like to contribute first, that might have been a better idea then just going out and buying things and then expecting other staff memebrs to contribute.

It's always difficult as these 'collections' always seem to happen on the wrong side of pay day, I have a colleague who is leaving after being here 6 months and a collection is being sent round......am I contributing? No....Why? well it's the wrong side of payday and in the 6months we've been colleagues we've probably had a total of 5minutes worth of conversation and as money is tight, I think it is more important to spend my money on those I care about instead of those I don't really know!

It's a bit like the 'discretionary' service charge added to restaurant bills, you can cross it off and not pay it if you don't want to, it doesn't make you tight!

If I were you I would not contribute and have a quiet word with the person asking for your contribution and say that as you weren't at work on the day and hadn't been asked about it before, you won't be contributing...what they then do with that information is up to them but I feel principals should be stuck to!

Good luck and whatever your decision, don't feel bad about it!

Augustus_the_Strong

I don't see why you should have to pay up if you don't want to, plus £5 seems a lot. However, it may be worth being generous in this instance, but point out you won't be doing it again. I think Noodle's idea about telling junior to put it in a charity box is a good one.

happyinflorida

Normally in offices where I've worked, whether you're there or not, makes no difference, you are expected to contribute to people's birthdays.

If however, you're facing financial hardship, then just have a word and offer either what you can afford or say you're broke and really cannot afford it, I'm sure they won't mind if it's true! As long as you're not going out enjoying yourself other nights of the week?!

It's not a great deal nowadays, £5, so if you can afford it, why on earth are you asking?!

minicooper272

It's harder to judge when we don't know the size of your office, or whether it was an important birthday, or if you normally celebrate birthdays like this.

If it was an important birthday, or it's what your office normally does, then cough up - you're paying for the gift as well, and arguing you weren't there to see him get it is just tight fisted.

If it wasn't an important birthday, or your office doesn't normally celebrate, then ask the juniors' line manager to explain how things are normally done. In the mean time you should still pay up - leaving an office junior out of pocket is mean.

geri1965_2

I used to work for a well known insurance company, and it seemed like every day someone would come round with an envelope collecting for birthdays/weddings etc, it was £2 for a normal birthday or leaving present, £5 for a "special" birthday (18,21,30,40,50!) Once there was even a collection for flowers because the mother of someone who I didn't know had died.

I always paid up but I wasn't happy about it. On the plus side, when I left after only being there 3 months I got a pretty decent present!

Where I work now we don't bother with stuff like that. If someone has a birthday they usually bring cakes in but it's not expected, and we only tend to buy leaving presents for someone if they have been here a long time.

[Deleted User]

Resign immediately in protest at having to pay £5. Live in a box outside the office, so they can see what they've done to you and feel really bad. If you're lucky, they may throw you small pieces of old birthday cake so you can survive.

Tigsteroonie

As others have said, I think it depends on what is the "custom" in that workplace. Are there normally collections for birthdays? Was their a collection for your birthday last year? Are the whiprounds ad-hoc (only those present) or organised?

We have a "birthday club", there's a published list of birthdays, and every payday we collect £2 per birthday in the coming month. Last month was expensive, this month there are none.

bennett2kuk

Is it a regular thing that happens in the office? If it is and you have yourself been the subject of the "small celebration" then you should probably contribute. They should have saved you some cake at least but it's swings and roundabouts.
In our office it is the birthday boy/girl's duty to bring cakes in for the rest of the department. If you're off on your birthday you do it on the day before or after.
We get collections occasionally for special birthdays but if I don't know them well or they're from a different department then tough, I don't pay up. That's not our system.