Real life MMD: Should I cough up?

awehla

I work in an office of 8 people including me. We do a collection each time someone has a birthday and you can contribute however much you want and we get the birthday man or woman a present. Usually the person whose birthday it is buys cakes/sweets for everyone in the office but not always.

In two previous offices I've worked in we've just done the cake tradition where whoever's birthday it is buys cakes for everyone in the office.

If this is a normal thing you do in your office (and from your post I don't think so) then you would give him the contribution whether you were in the office or not. If this was an impromptu thing you don't have to pay. Plus I do think it makes a difference if this person was a temp you don't really know well or someone you've known for a while - it's up to you really.

19lottie82

I guess it was wrong of the junior to assume that everyone should chip in £5, some people might not be able to afford this, especially if it’s the end of the month and they have children to take care of.

In my work we have collections getting passed round the office all the time, mainly for people leaving or people getting married or having babies, but it is entirely up to you how much (if at all) you contribute. Personally, if I know them and get on with them, then I will usually contribute a few quid. However, I would be very angry if it was suggested that this donation was mandatory.

I guess in this situation, you should cough up, in fear of looking like a tight wad, if you don’t. But as someone has already suggested, perhaps maybe make the junior aware that, although you appreciate that he was trying to do something nice, it isn’t practical to have a collection for a present and a cake every time it is someones birthday, especially not contractors, as some people might not be happy about being “told” to contribute.

burgewhit

This kind of thing really winds me up, no you shouldn't have to pay but you will look bad if you don't.

My ex boss, who no-one liked, left last year and there was a collection for her, I was flabbergasted when someone suggested £10 but begrudgingly paid up. I was even more annoyed when she opened the gift and even she was surprised (and obviously flattered) at how expensive it was.

This year her ex boss, who was in the job only 2 1/2 yrs (acting up on what would have been a massive payrise with a final salary pension scheme, no application or interview required!!!!) retired. We were asked by one colleague (who works in a different office) by e-mail, to give a contribution by a certain date if we wanted to but after a team meeting another colleague went round asking all of us for a fiver each for 2 people retiring so she could pass it on to the original person asking (I didn't really know the other retiring person). I ignored her so she specifically asked me and I told her no. I'm not short of money and felt bad about this but didn't want to give this person anything because he treated people like s*** and had basically been given a golden handshake from the old boys club. Instead I went to a guy on the team about to run a marathon and gave him £20. £10 I would have sponsored him anyway and £10 for the retiring gift, I'm sure the charity he was running for needed the money more.

At the end of the day, nobody should be forced to give money towards gifts they don't want to contribute towards and nobody knows your financial situation even if you are a senior person you could be struggling with your finances and why should you give your money away to someone else. I'm never going to do it again, maybe charities will be seeing more of my money over the coming years to appease the guilt I feel in not giving money to people I hardly even know or like, although to be fair I probably would contribute to anyone else's leaving pot!

pennypinchUK

It all depends on how much you're prepared to stick your neck out and risk being seen as 'tight' with your work colleagues.

It's never ceased to amaze me how much it costs to work, when you tot up the cost of travel, clothes, after work drinks, office parties and contributions to whip-rounds, etc.

pineapple

I think it's immaterial whether you were there or not. You missed out on a bit of cake - so what!
If it is custom and practice to do this AND if you were consulted beforehand, then pay up.
If it's outside the norm AND you weren't consulted, then no don't pay.
If it's the norm but nobody mentioned it beforehand that's the grey area for me. I would probably pay though.

Marco12452

For the sake of a fiver, not worth losing face.
Would you have given to a collection, if so then not a big difference.

Solomon_Broad

The only person who decides where my money goes is me. What someone else chooses to do with their money is up to them.

I wouldn't give the individual the money. I don't have cash to just give to random people, especially if they try to make me feel obligated to give it to them. I'd have probably given if asked beforehand (or maybe not, depending on how much I liked the person), but when it gets to the point of "you owe me because I made a decision on your behalf", then you can go tiddle.

tallgirld

Five quid!! that's taking the mick you wasn't even there to agree to it. What would happen it you don't have £5 to contribute?

I would refuse on principal.

BobbinAlong

We only collect for those leaving and have a printed list of everyone's names (except the recipient) that goes onto a big envelope and gets passed from desk to desk for you to contribute in private as much or as little as you wish and cross your name off when you've done it. Birthday cards go around the same way for signing but we don't collect money and each year we all put a pound or so into a fund for buying the cards.
Birthday person is expected to bring cakes on or close to their birthday and we all do it willingly as we all like cakes.

jinger_2

Personally I would politely decline unless I was aware of the collection prior to being away from the office.

I have worked in two offices where it was customary that the birthday person brought treats in to share with others. I have never understood the logic in this and have declined to take part, especially when one office had over 100 staff! When treats came round for Joe Blogg's birthday I would always decline the offer, knowing I wasn't going to bring anything in on my birthday. Some people were snooty about my thoughts on the subject but I never let it bother me.