Who asked for *your* opinion?

sleepy

I've been sharing books with my dad since I was about 10, and still do. Mum was into Catherine Cookson (even that young I knew that I didn't want to read them ) and Dad read crime/thriller/mystery books. So from a young age I've been reading Dean Koontz, Patricia Cornwall and the like. I don't think it's hurt me one bit. I'm now almost 21, at university, and me and Dad still share books.
My boyfriend is amazed at how much I love to read, and I think this is down to my childhood. We used to go to the library every week as a family and get books out. At my library children were only allowed 4 books at a time, so my parents would get extra books out for me. After years of reading so much, of course I had outgrown childrens books.
I think a love of reading is something wonderfull that should be cherished and encouraged, not stopped by a teacher because it's easier for them if the whole class reads the sime kind of books.

Debt_Free_Chick

Queenie wrote:

I did ask and I respect you for playing DA;

Good of you to say so, thanks. I genuinely wanted to prompt a different angle.

Actually, the book doesn't feature much sex and certainly not out of context or even graphically.

And I wonder if the teacher knew this or if it was a snap judgment based only on the jacket. hhmmmm

Yup, also agree that a teacher has some say over what could/should be read within the school boundary: however, if she has such concerns, perhaps it would be more appropriate to address them to us first?

Agree entirely. I often find that teachers treat all kids the same i.e. if some of their class require a very firm hand, they all get it. In business, we're taught to manage people as individuals and that no single style will apply to all. Why don't teachers do this?

After all, he is still our son, 10yo, has my permission to read it; we are discussing it as he progresses through (as we did with the HP's; LOTR etc.) and it's a good platform for moral discussion, not to mention the sexism aspects, historical values, etc.

From that comment alone, it's a great pity that the teacher didn't talk to you about it

So, should teachers be omnipotent in such matters, irrespective of how their comments may make the child and therefore the parents feel, or, should they at least have the basic good manners to discuss it with the parents if they feel it's so unsuitable? Depending on what "unsuitable" actually means!

Can't disagree with any of that.

Queenie ... why don't you speak to the teacher. By that, I mean in a constructive way to find a suitable solution, acceptable to all. The teacher might learn something

Good Luck

elona

Just read the last post and I doubt very much if the teacher is capable of learning anything that would threaten her view of herself as all knowing and all powerful.

The best of luck.

RedOnRed

The books that you mention wouldn't be on the school syllabus because they're "adult" reading material, which you have already described them as being so. The film versions would also most likely be inappropriate as well.

Would you approve of a teacher reading adult books to your child at school? Most likely not. You shouldn't really treat a book any differently to an unsuitable film.

Additionally, you have to be careful moving them on too quickly, because as soon as they've discovered more grown up material, every thing suitable for their own age suddenly beomes boring to them.

svmitche

RedOnRed wrote:

Additionally, you have to be careful moving them on too quickly, because as soon as they've discovered more grown up material, every thing suitable for their own age suddenly beomes boring to them.

I disagree. As an adult, I am still happy to read Roald Dahl, J K Rowling and Jacqueline Wilson. I have been known to revisit The Princess and The Pea when I'm feeling poorly.

If a child expresses an interest in reading more 'grown up' books then this should be encouraged and the OP took the right approach giving her child a book she had read and was ok with.

When I was at middle school, the library was next door to my school, so I would change my books over on the way home. I was in top reading set and had read all the books that held my interest in the school. I started getting Catherine Cookson and Barbara Taylor Bradford books out of the library. My mum was ok with that as it fostered my love of reading and she had read the books herself, but as I was 11/12, when I went and got a new book, every time the librarian would ask if the book was for me or for my mum. I don't encourage lying, but I used to tell her they were for my mum, not that it was really any of her business.

RedOnRed

svmitche wrote:

I disagree. As an adult, I am still happy to read Roald Dahl, J K Rowling and Jacqueline Wilson. I have been known to revisit The Princess and The Pea when I'm feeling poorly.

But we're not talking in the context of adult rational thinking. We're discussing a child's mind, responses and attitude.

My child was given an XBOX for christmas a couple of years ago and will now not return to all the toy cars and things he used to play with prior to having it.

The same thing applies to most films and books which are past his age range. It's not necessarily damaging, it's just something to consider.

Queenie

You raise an interesting point RedOnRed; naturally I did not expect to see it on the syllabus and of course I would not expect the teacher to read aloud adult books to her class. (To clarify, my son was reading his book, not to the class, nor his peers, nor even aloud to his teacher on a one-to-one).

As for the film versions, well, to attract a bigger audience the sex scenes are given more of a priority than actually exists within the context of some books; hence the term "gratuitous sex".

This particular book can be purchased in any bookstore and does not come with a rating stating it is only for over 18 - perhaps that is another topic
However, just to be clear, I do not allow my child/ren to watch video's, films or play computer games which are above their ratings. Images move so fast that would be much harder to monitor/judge their perceptions etc.

It is because the range of books available to him for his "age" have already become tedious that he asked me in the first instance - yet I know for a fact that when the latest HP hits the shelves he will not only be as keen to read as I will be, but no doubt he'll be sneaking a look while I have it on my bedside table and he has to bide his time (Mothers perogative ).

Regarding his "mind, responses and attitude" then naturally that has to fall down to me to be responsible, which I believe I am, as they are a foundation for discussion - yes, even Horrid Henry, Captain Underpants, Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella prompts a discussion.

RedOnRed wrote:

My child was given an XBOX for christmas a couple of years ago and will now not return to all the toy cars and things he used to play with prior to having it.

Yup, we were heading that way too (my boys would be "rewarded" with PS2 time at weekends; it has steadily crept up to dominating their time, priorities and was in danger of turning them into surly, argumentative, frustrated and unpleasant to be around people - solution? I have withdrawn it for Lent! Now they have rediscovered the joys of other games and are even inventing their own. Very refreshing, plus they are pleasant company once more).

RedOnRed

Queenie wrote:

Yup, we were heading that way too (my boys would be "rewarded" with PS2 time at weekends; it has steadily crept up to dominating their time, priorities and was in danger of turning them into surly, argumentative, frustrated and unpleasant to be around people - solution? I have withdrawn it for Lent! Now they have rediscovered the joys of other games and are even inventing their own. Very refreshing, plus they are pleasant company once more).

Hmmm, that sounds all too familiar a description of my little angel.

That's what happens when we lead them up the path sign posted This Way For Growing Up Too Quickly..

elona

I agree with not wanting my children to grow up too quickly but the one thing I really want for them is that they have a love of reading as it opens so many windows on the world as well as helping spelling grammar and comprehension.

My oldest daughters were reading books above their age range from about six years old - not adult ones but not what the rest of the class was reading as their reading skills were not up to it.(the rest of the class I mean)


I could not agree more with the original poster and if the teacher had not made such a song and dance about it then the rest of the class would have known nothing about it!

By continuing to make the son uncomfortable the teacher is showing a lack of sensitivity and common sense which makes me wonder if she is up to the job or if she is "displacing" by concentrating her attention on something that is not really relevant to her or the school

My hunch is that the teacher never finished the book and is speaking from a knee jerk reaction. (jerk being the appropriate word):):):)

Queenie

RedOnRed wrote:

......
That's what happens when we lead them up the path sign posted This Way For Growing Up Too Quickly..

We? I do hope you haven't included me in your "we"?

All my children have had access to "The Body Book" by Claire Raynor; this book is aimed at children, young children. It has pictures of naked bodies from birth through puberty to adulthood. It has pictures of and descriptions of the processes of intercourse. Covers other topics too such as poo, wee, burping, pregnancy, birth, grandparents/death.

The historical novel my son is reading does NOT have graphics of erect penis', vagina's or intercourse.

As for making him grow up too soon .... he is 10yo; one of my adult son's, who is now a parent himself, came to me to ask: "Mum, what is a 69?" At that time, he was just 11yo - only 4mths older than this ds! Seems it had been a topic of conversation with his peers in the playground. Mind you, when he told me what they *thought* it was, it was enough to make your hair curl!!

By comparison .... when I was 10yo, I asked my Mum what a "virgin" was - (playground topic) - she almost swallowed her false teeth! (she had me late in life) She asked me where I had heard that word, so I said the Virgin Mary. Do you know what she told me? "It's an unmarried mother". Thing is, I never, ever, doubted a word my mother said ... zip forward to 15yo, all girls school, in my white socks in the dinner Q. 6th formers point at me and say: "Heheheh, she's a virgin!"
To which I replied, most indignant: "Oh no I am NOT!" ..... I actually learned a few years later that I had a reputation from that little scenario as being a bit of a slapper!

If the child is old enough to ask the question, then we have a duty to answer them truthfully; he already knows about the birds and the bee's; the book doesn't tell him anything he doesn't already know.

Making him grow up too quick? Nah.