Who asked for *your* opinion?

Queenie

Sometimes, just SOMETIMES, I feel that people overstep the mark by offering, nay, forcing (!) their opinion on others when it's neither asked for, wanted or appreciated!!

My ds, 10yo, recently asked me if he could read some of my adult books (hang fire! We're not talking "adult" books here ) I read a range of books and he's referring to my novels - he thoroughly enjoyed "The Borribles Trilogy" and "Lord of the Rings" and so I said: "Ok!"

He's chosen one of the historical novels. Frankly, if he can sustain his interest in it beyond the first chapter, I'm more than happy for him to read it; he shares my love of reading and I'm happy to encourage that. (To be fair, I excluded any Sara Waters from his choices!! )

Off he trots to school (they are allowed to read books from home at school) quite happy in his world.

He came home, bit out of sorts. Seems his teacher saw him reading the book and told him: "That is *not* suitable reading for a 10yo, put it away".
Ds explained that we are ok with it and she told him: "I've read that book and it's totally inappropriate, put it away!"

Later in the week, dh had to call the teacher about something else and as he was ending the conversation she chimes up with: "Oh and one more thing, I do not think K should be reading that book."

Well, excuse me! Did I *ask* for your opinion?

Sheeesh! What's going on here? Am I supposed to turn to teacher and ask her opinion/recommendation on what I am allowed to give my child to read now? Should I be questioning my own judgement, based on her opinion?

Grrrrrrr!!!!!!!

elona

I would love to know what the book was and what exactly she was objecting to?

I have started my daughters reading terry Pratchet (the adult ones) but have always read the book first and had an idea of what they were reading as I felt a bit of irreverance never hurt anyone.

I suppose you might be on shaky ground as it is on school premises if there is anything that is scary and I suppose some historical novels might have gruesome bits in - but how could that be worse than Horrible History?

Basically I am completely on your side and it looks like teacher is a pompous fool with an inflated opinion of her abilities and judgement .

Unfortunately if you go to headteacher I bet he or she would back up the teacher as an instinctive reaction.

I have recently been looking at some of the posts and it has reinforced my opinion that I cannot wait till daughter leaves primary and small minded and bigoted attitudes behind.

Sorry about the rant but it really annoys me when responsible parents get treated like fools by people with the intelligence and sensitivity of a maladroit warthog! LOL :):)

Queenie

"maladroit warthog" ROFLMAO!! Quite!

The book is: "The Queen's Fool" by Philippa Gregory and dh didn't ask what it is about it that she objects to. Yes, I believe the Head would indeed side with her staff, predictably.

Hmmm, maybe next week I shall send him with "Lady Chatterly's Lover" ... seeing as it's a "Classic"

elona

Queenie

I bet I know what she is objecting to - and I bet she has not read the entire book from cover to cover.

It gives an excellent overview of the political and personal upheavals over several reigns from a personal and balanced viewpoint BUT - on the cover description and on the first couple of pages ( which is probably as far as her limited skills could take her!) there is reference to a three letter word beginning with S**! Shock and horror!

The depravity(never mind they are exposed to worse in playground News etc) .

How does your son feel about "War and Peace" "Decline and fall of the roman empire " ?

I like the idea of checking the classics as she has probably not read those but now "She has the bit between her teeth" she will probably check everything your son is reading so it conforms to her limited world view - Teletubbies Anyone?

xela_17

I have to chime in here, as although I do not have children, my mother let me read a lot of her books when I was young (10ish). I read all Agatha Christie, my first Stephen king when I was 10 and several similar (Dean Koontz etc). I was a very keen reader and my school actually encouraged me to read books that perhaps weren't for my age group. I feel that reading "adult" books can really bring on a child who is not being challenged by kid's books, moreover surely this is the parent's decision, if they feel that their child can cope with it?

robnye

if the teacher is against certain books...... due to wordings/storylines
would it be worth asking what books are recommended (not by the teacher , but by the education authority), i realise that a child sometimes only has to read the daily papers to see the same type of stories, or if they access to the internet...

I agree that if a child wants to read and the books they are reading help to further their vocabulary, my youngest (9) has read most of the jacquline wilson books (due to the two older sisters having them), but she has also read the Narnia chronicles..... (blood thirsty in parts), then we as parents should help to broaden their readings, the only downside on my daughters part is she is a chatter box..... always asking questions (somehow answering because doesnt stop them) or always talking about something that interested her during the day...... which is great, but not so when she repeats it to everyone she sees........ and you where the first one to hear it...... :rolleyes:

Debt_Free_Chick

Playing Devil's Advocate here ...

But I think the Teacher has to consider what, on average, would generally be regarded as "suitable". Remember that he/she has to consider what the reaction of other parents would be if their child wanted to read a book which, by its own cover, seemed to feature $ex fairly highly. You know what it's like ... kid B goes home to mum, wants to read that book, mum say no and kid B says "well Johnny was reading it at school the other day so it must be OK".

I really don't think that the Teacher was trying to control what you let him read. But I do think the teacher is allowed to have some say over what should be read within the school boundary.

Just my opinion ... well, you did ask, didn't you

Queenie

Debt_Free_Chick wrote:

Playing Devil's Advocate here ...

But I think the Teacher has to consider what, on average, would generally be regarded as "suitable". Remember that he/she has to consider what the reaction of other parents would be if their child wanted to read a book which, by its own cover, seemed to feature $ex fairly highly. You know what it's like ... kid B goes home to mum, wants to read that book, mum say no and kid B says "well Johnny was reading it at school the other day so it must be OK".

I really don't think that the Teacher was trying to control what you let him read. But I do think the teacher is allowed to have some say over what should be read within the school boundary.

Just my opinion ... well, you did ask, didn't you

I did ask and I respect you for playing DA; interestingly the kid B scenario did come up today because now, ds' literacy teacher has asked him if she can see his book (which he didn't have with him) so she can take a look. (It didn't come across as a positive and ds is left feeling that he is the talk of the staff room!) One of his peers called from across the room (which she chose to ignore if she did indeed hear it): "I'm reading Bravo Two Zero!"

Actually, the book doesn't feature much sex and certainly not out of context or even graphically. (Did anyone see "Jack" on Ch 5 on Sunday? Rated PG, where boys were reading !!!!!! mags?). Now, compare that to your average soap on TV (we only watch 'enders and Casualty) where the topics of rape, incestual rape, abortion, murder et al all feature, I think the contents of the book - having read it cover to cover myself - are very mild by comparison. The primary theme of the book is about loyalty, duplicity and unrequited love!!!

Yup, also agree that a teacher has some say over what could/should be read within the school boundary: however, if she has such concerns, perhaps it would be more appropriate to address them to us first? After all, he is still our son, 10yo, has my permission to read it; we are discussing it as he progresses through (as we did with the HP's; LOTR etc.) and it's a good platform for moral discussion, not to mention the sexism aspects, historical values, etc.

I also feel that by making such a fuss (I say fuss because now she has drawn in the literacy teacher too - despite the fact my son hasn't taken the book back to school since half term) she is undermining *my* role as a responsible parent! My dh and I are both intelligent, educated people; in our 40's, with combined parenting experience totalling more than 140 yrs! (well, if you add up all the ages of our children ); we tend to feel that we do have a teeny bit of knowledge on the matter and are not operating under ignorance or naivety. Shouldn't that be given due respect?

So, should teachers be omnipotent in such matters, irrespective of how their comments may make the child and therefore the parents feel, or, should they at least have the basic good manners to discuss it with the parents if they feel it's so unsuitable? Depending on what "unsuitable" actually means!

elona

I sent you a reply which has disappeared somewhere in the system.

If your son is able to read adult books then why does he have a literacy teacher?

If the teacher is not dealing directly with your son then why is she asking?

If this incident happened weeks ago then what problem does the original teacher have?

She sounds quite obsessive and if she carries on like this then you may end up asking head teacher why there is a policy of regulating what pupils read at home as your education department does not appear to have heard of this.

Surprised teacher does not suggest the grand old tradition of book burning- beloved by zeolots and bigots over the centuries.

It sounds to me as if the teacher is in need of "a nice rest" and I would question how good a teacher she can be if spending so much time on what is none of her business.

elona

As regards "unsuitable" - if you read " alice in wonderland" then I think it is the Red Queen who says that when she uses a word then it means exactly what she wants it to mean!" LOL :):)

Queenie

elona wrote:

I sent you a reply which has disappeared somewhere in the system.

If your son is able to read adult books then why does he have a literacy teacher?

He is top set of reading, so he and others in that group have a seperate Literacy class/teacher - same applies with Maths.

elona wrote:

If the teacher is not dealing directly with your son then why is she asking?

Good question!

elona wrote:

If this incident happened weeks ago then what problem does the original teacher have?.

LOL - yup, I'm wondering the same!!

I shall be writing a letter over the weekend.