Beating Stress and Worry

Hobsch

It is very hard. What I have found is exercise helps. A nice run or even walk alone helps clear my head a bit of stress. When feeling really stressful I have a punchbag that I hit the s*** out of. It helps.
Writing stuff down is also good.
I also - and its not intended to offend anyone, but think of this site and that there are people in the same boat as you or worse off so your not alone.
This site is in itself a stress relief to me. So glad when I came across it.

duncans-mum_2

Dawn, although easier said than done, worrying about it won't make it any better. Although that doesn;t mean ignore it. Take positive steps forward, and try not to think you must sort everything soon. Write down what the actual worries are and then go down the list and try and work out a plan of action. Someone on here quoted the words "baby steps" to me a while ago when I thought I was slipping, and they were so right. Take each problem/day as it comes and try and do something that you may think will help you on your road to debt free.

Eating though should be top of your priority list, because if you are hungry/malnourished you will feel less likely to cope / lethargic.

Psykicpup

Its gonna be ok hunny :grouphug: you've come to the right place!
I take it you cant sleep for worry as your post was at 1am!
Do you think you could post your SOA yet? or is that too full on just now?
Try not to worry too much & remember we will all try to help as much as we can ok....
:kisses:

dawn35

WOW Guys

Only just managed to log on, my pcs been on the blink all day. Im touched that so many of you replied.

I posted that thread last night when i was totally freaked out, and i still am now. I feel even worse today. Getting out of bed was a mammoth task this morning.

I was with my brother this morning in marks and spencers, he was buying some lunch and it took every ounce of strength for me not to breakdown there and then. Being able to offload to you guys is invaluable when you have no one else to talk to. Its so horrible to think that your going to lose it in the middle of a shop. men with white coats time i think!

I think this is my biggest problem. That no one knows is the hardest thing for me. The thoughts that are whirring round and round are excrutiating. Also its almost impossible to get any persepctive when its you in the middle.

I have banging headache from hell and i just want to cry myself to sleep at the moment.

This time last year I had no debt at all, and now, a year on, im might just lose everything. Its seems so surreal to me alll of this.

I have a business which isnt doing well, i need to concentrate on it to make money, i cant concentrate because im worried to death all of the time, vicious circle. I work with my brother and i feel like smacking his head in half the time.

I went to see my friend this weekend. we havent seen each other for 8 months and it was nice to catch up. Shes really happy with her boyfriend, i only just met him this weekend, seems a nice enough fella. They bought a beautiful house together, in a georgous villiage in Oxford. The inside is stunning, theyve decked it out beautifully. They are starting their own business in a month, everythings worked out perfectley, in fact it couldnt be better. Im truley and absolutley happy for her. She a good mate and deserves the best, but as i sat there at their table talking to them about their business and home etc i felt sick. I looked accross at my son (hes 16 and also knows nothing about my problems) and i felt such a loser. I wanted to run screaming out of that house. It kind of underlined what ive done to myself, and what i could of had if i hadnt been such an idiot.
Im not jealous but im envious and i dont want to feel that way. I honestly just couldnt wait to get out of there, and i know thats sooooo bad.

Phew!!! ive been dying to tell someone that !!!!

Anyway i think there should be a place on this board, like a dedicated space for when we need to offload, and tell each other how scared and upset we are, and try and gain some perspective cause ive lost all mine it seems !!!!

I know that i dont know one of you from Adam but thank you for being there for me.

Dawn xxx

dawn35

and one more thing.........

Sassers wrote:

Dawn - I hate to think of you going without food because you can't afford it. I've just sold one of my parcels on Ebay this morning, it's a £5 but it could get you some grub. I could send it to you via Paypal so you can eat and at least buy some basics, even if it's only cheapie bread, potatoes and beans..
Please let me know.....


Anyway, have a good day peeps
love Sas xx

I was blown away by your kindness. What a beautiful person you are.

I managing thanks babe, super noodles arnt that bad

Dawn xxx

do_it_today!

:A You have a son and you have your health.... thats a good start... I know its hard and the more you think the more freaked out you become but please take some time to breath and everyday try and recall three things that are going right (or not going wrong) you also pat your self on the back you ACKNOWLEDGE things arent great right now but you are taking steps to move forward... coming on this site is a small step but every step you carryon taking will get you to where you want to eventually.
forget about your friend right now and focus on you, Im sure there are many things you have been through and conquered and you Will do the same with your debt one step at a time.

every time you feel like a drink take a deep breath have some water.... its cheaper and your head wont hurt in the morning.

dawn35

I have posted my SOA on another thread but ill do it again now.....


HSBC Mortgage £410.21 (no missed payments)

HSBC Secured Loan £167.81 (no missed payments)

First Plus Secured Loan £661.25 (am currently paying half for the past 3 months, they have told me that i have to pay the full amount or if the account goes into 2 months missed payments it will be passed to the debt collectors)



CitiFinancial Unsecured Loan £252.24 (haven’t paid the past two payments, have sent them a letter telling them that I’ve got a meeting with the CCCS on Friday no letter back yet) This has now been moved to Dec 5th.



HSBC Unsecured Loan £215.00 (haven’t made one payment yet, the loan was deferred for 3 months, the first payment is due December)



HSBC Overdraft £1700.00



Poll Tax £64.00



Gas £26.00



TV Licence £11.00



Phone/Internet £29.99



Sky £40.00



Life Insurance £28.06 (bank said i have to have it for mortgage)



HSBC Secured Loan Insurance £15.00



Maintenance for Flat £33.00



Ground rent £10.00



School Fees £4.00



Water Rates £26.41



Pet Insurance £10.50



Mums catalogue £90.00 ( i cannot not pay this) my debt



Mums Credit Card £110.00 (I cannot not pay this) my debt



Electricity £31.00



That the whole sorry story. I haven’t included shopping petrol or clothes. Money for my sons school lunches. The list goes on.



I have just changed bank accounts to Natwest and cancelled everything on HSBC. Current OD at £17500.00 250.00 over the limit.



So they are going to chase me as my mortgage payment secured loan and new loan will all bounce.

There you have it

D x

dawn35

Always forget this bit.

Incommings £2,000.00

FAB!!!!!

Dawn x

BarmyCow

Hi Dawn

I'm not an experienced MSE but, like everyone else, am happy to offer all the moral support and encouragement you need. In fact, I'm really touched by the support on here and it's not even for me.;)

Having scraped myself out of some serious debt in the not-so-distant past, it still gives me the cold shivers when I think about how I felt everytime the phone rang or the postman called round. I can honestly say that I ignored post, left bills unopened and didn't answer the phone - all the things that you are advised NOT to do !:eek:

My suggestion would be to sit down with a nice cup of tea, take a deep breath and start phoning your creditors. When I did this I was amazed that they would even consider helping me and spent a lot of time crying on the phone to total strangers. I understand that you want to sort your debts, get the best deals and do it all yesterday but if you speak to your creditors they may well be able to help you in the short/medium term which can only help in the long term.

Chin up, know that you're not doing this alone and you certainly aren't the only one in this situation and if you are ever in/near Lincolnshire and you need a nice brew, a good chat and a hug -let me know !:D

M x

Pobby

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!{Dawn}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} hug from me!