It's just a jump to the left... or "Confessions of a Debt-Free-Wannabe"

tyllwyd

"And regarding the different debts:
The graduate loan is not too bad a rate and a short term with 32 months, the Co-operative Band credit card needs transfering to a new 0% BT by the end of January 2007 - that could be hairy if my credit rating isn't going up immediately.

How about I move
£309.65 HSBC Current Account (£500 agreed overdraft)
£1653.39 HSBC Credit Card
£279.41 HSBC Business Account (£0 agreed overdraft)
£493.70 smile Current Account (£500 agreed overdraft)
__________________________________________________ __
£2755 TOTAL to a 0% BT credit card?"

Getting these smallish debts all into one place at 0% sounds sensible - the only thing is to transfer overdrafts I think you need a card that allows Super Balance Transfers (confession time - I know nothing about this but I've seen other people here mention it). If you can't do that, you could probably get it sorted out by juggling money around between you and your partner though.

You mentioned that you are thinking about starting up your freelance earning again - I think that is a brilliant idea. If you have enough time spare and you have a skill that can earn you money, then that's got to be the best way to get your finances back on track rather than taking out consolidation loans and paying some bank shed loads of interest. Good luck!

diekleinemue

Mh, things feel a little stuck around here. I feel a little stuck.

My partner and I believe that moving my overdrafts to a 0% BT credit card (taken out by him since my credit rating has gone sour because smile and Co-operative Bank both rejected me for personal loans when I wanted to consolidate) really is the right way forward for now but I can't find the necessary info on which card to use for such a venture. Neither of us has money lying around to pay my overdrafts off just like that, so I have to be able to transfer the balances to this card or use the card to "pay off" the balances. "Super Balance Transfer" is the term I keep hearing but so far I haven't found a card that would let me do that. So I keep looking. *looks under the sofa, behind the garden shed, in the cats' secret hidings places, on this website, in her favourite book - looks EVERYwhere*

On a lighter note, my partner and I both keep spending diaries now and are enjoying some mild competition in terms of who can spend the least money. Nice work! Tonight we had potatoes with home made bolognese sauce from last night for dinner because we didn't want to spend money on pasta... Are we taking this a little too far?

We are also both gathering more data about our finances and I am compiling this in excel to be able to work with the figures. Interesting stuff! *outing herself as total geek* Ah, well...

I think one of the most amazing things for me is just how refreshing it is to talk about these things openly with each other. I come from a family where people can't really talk about anything, let alone their financial difficulties. My parents' financial situation is very unstable, always has been, even at times when my step dad's business went really, really well. That was mainly due to them compensating their unhappyness with spending money, preferably on exclusive foods, (I grew up quite a food snob and probably still am one sometimes. Food doesn't have to be expensive, but my main concern is that the quality of the food I eat stands in direct relation to my physical (and consequently mental) health. If I eat a lot of chemically treated junk it has a knock-on effect on my entire system. This is the fuel with which I run this body! How am I/is my body supposed to work properly? I could rant on about this forever so I better stop here...).

Where were we? Oh yes, my parents, our family spent lots of money on things like food, Christmas (which was effectively payback for all the !!!! times and arguments througout the year. I got extra pocket money to be able to buy Christmas presents. Go figure...?!), clothes, (both my mom and my step dad were always very well dressed. My mom once didn't want to go out me with because the linen trousers and shirt I was wearing that day weren't ironed properly and a little old, so the whole outfit didn't look so crisp and fresh. I was 24 then, studying and living on my own and somehow I thought it wouldn't really matter what I wear when I go out with my mom for a coffee or a meal. Mh...) - I'm getting easily sidetracked in elaborating on matters. Anyway, I think you get the picture.

When my mom met my step dad he didn't pay taxes and it wasn't long until a huge bill landed on their door step. My mom took all the money out of my savings account to help him pay this bill. A drop of water in the desert. For me it was my life savings gone in an instant. I was only 14 years old then. My mother never asked me or told me, so when I found my savings account book lying around and saw the withdrawel noted in it I was quite surprised. I eventually mustered up the courage to ask her about this and she was embarrassed, but she also said that because they had bought me some clothes recently they hadn't really taken anything away from me. The clothes they bought for me were a fraction of the money I had in that savings account but I left it at that to avoid any further conflicts and we never spoke about it again.

Until 16 years later, that is. See, I have a little bother, he is 16 years younger than I am and the money he received around his 14th birthday (which was almost three times as much as the money I had 16 years earlier) went exactly the same way. My parents took it to pay back their debt. Nothing has changed. My step dad took the money his mother has been saving up for almost 18 years to pay for my brother's driving licence. My step dad was in a really tight spot, his business wasn't going that well any longer and he needed to pay bills. That's just how it is.

I guess, what I am trying to say here as well is that my parents aren't bad people. They are very generous, particularly my step dad. He'd gladly give his last penny (and has when my mom's brother was on the verge of bankrupcy and needed the family's help urgently.). He is only copying what his father did, while trying to live a better life.

If it wasn't for the betrayal of my brother's and my trust and the fact that our parent's mismanagement of their finances led to my brother being expelled from the school he was at (because the state school just didn't work for him, although he had to default to the lowest possible level of state school after being expelled and left without any qualifications, partly because he didn't learn very much but also because the stress of the situation wore him out, draining him of any motivation and ambition. That remains one of the hardest things to compute: to see my little brother disillusioned at the age of 17 and I will never forgive my parents for that.), if it wasn't for these things it would probably a lot easier to talk about money or anything for that matter at home.

But instead my step dad feels like he let everybody down, he is like a wounded animal that has been cornered, lashing out at anyone who is approaching, friend of foe. Desperately trying to hold on to the pieces of the 'rich life' they once led, he continues to spend money. My mom has stopped listening and talking and is physically shrinking away. Scary! Her worries made her quite ill (my step dad too actually - again copying his father who worked himself into an early grave at the age of 54, dying of a heart attack) and earlier this year I thought they might split up over this impossible financial situation with them spending money they don't have while not looking at any ways out. This has been going on now for almost 4 years.

So, thinking about money and my financial situation and all, I wonder, is it really surprising that I am not as considerate and alert in dealing with my money as I should be? I am not saying it's my parent's fault - don't get me wrong! I am saying that I didn't learn how to budget. I didn't learn how to plan ahead, how to save up for something I really wanted, how to let my money work for me. You know, since my mom took that money out of my savings account I was never again in any credit to speak of. When I had money I spent it and I guess from a psychological point of view that's not much of a surprise. (Did I mention that I am a trainee person-centred psychotherapist? Maybe we should open a counselling thread...) I made some good investments, like for example my beautiful Lowden guitar, (I am also a singer/songwriter and was gigging a lot in my late teens/early 20s), I bought a house together with my partner (although since I am not contributing anything to the mortgage costs in the moment I am not sure if I can call this 'my' house... *sigh*), I am improving and having found this site has been a huge step forward to a much better understanding of how money works, how banks operate and of the importance to constantly keep an eye on the ball.

I don't know if any of you saw "Evicted" on the BBC yesterday evening. It was a very moving programme and I have been thinking about how easily this could happen to any of us. I just need to imagine I am losing my job on top of having a debt sitatuation that isn't fully dealt with yet. Or worse - my partner loses his job. He is after all paying all the bills. That's it. We don't have any reserves to blow over for a couple of months. That's really scary!

Well, it got me thinking that it might be a good idea to develop a game, an educational board game about money. A mixture of Monopoly, the Game of Life, Snakes & Ladders and Sims where you make life style choices that change your financial situation. It would have to be based firmly within realistic parameters, that the day only has 24 hours, that there is no magic (but nice surprises like finding £20 on the street or being invited to dinner). You might win money in the lottery (but only if you budgeted for the ticket), you might budget £20 for a weekly shop and then on your shopping day move your figure to the shopping mall (not to forget thinking about how much it costs to get to the shopping mall and home!!) and have to decide where to shop with your budget. You might pick a card that then tells you how you did considering your budget and if your family will get by on that... Can you see it? It's not quite there yet. Bear with me on this one. I can see glimpses of the game when I think about it for a while.

It could be a game where quite a large group of people could play at the same time, maybe even keep their "status" once they finish a (couple of) "round/s" and they can readily enter the game again, even join a different group as long as they hold on to their data. It could be played in schools. It should be compulsary to play it in school!!! (Thinking about the franchise now...) You could add components to the game like particular social issues that are relevant in this context, like for example homelessness or diet, or environmental issues... mh... I think we have a winner here. I'll get back to the drawing board, actually I'm going to bed now, but I'll be back with some sketches and more ideas soon.

Thanks for listening/reading!
nite nite!
diekleinemue

diekleinemue

Oh and to quickly update on my little cashflow forecast for this week:

Tomorrow is uni, I will take sandwiches and a bottle of water to save more money and I am getting a ride, so should cost nothing. Err..., except for that one book that is overdue and that will cost me £4.50. *sob*

Wednesday - Friday I am in work. If the weather is bearable it'll be £6.45 on transport (if it's pouring down it'll be £10.50. OR I finally invest into waterproof trousers and be done with it, but that's £20 I don't really have this month), and I know I'm cooking tomorrow night, so lunch for Wednesday is sorted and I'll make sandwiches for Thursday, leaving only one day when I will buy something to eat in town = £5. I will try spent no more than £12.50 by the end of the week no matter the weather!

Oh, sugar! And then there is my own counselling of course with £25, which isn't negotiable and part of my training. *sigh*

Ok, so I'll spend no more than £42 by the end of this week.

Well, the book fine was only £2.50 (hurrah!) but I spend £2.80 on a cup of tea, a piece of cake and some chocolate... *hangs head in shame*

Travelwise the weather was ace so that's £6.45 for the ferry.

I brought lunch from home on Wednesday and Thursday and today there is a conference and I'll get free lunch! *victory dance*shuffle*shimmie*

Counselling was as usual and that means so far I spent: *moves beads forth and back on her abacus* £36.75!! HA! £7 saved!!!!

Now, I will have to think about what I'm cooking tonight, have odd veggies at home, brussel sprouts, some cabbage, potatoes, parsnip and thought I could do a casserole or something? So might need some filo pastry or something similar.

AND this weekend I'll have to find a couple of Christmas tree branches for some seasonal decoration, (is it illegal to go for a walk in the woods and cut some branches off trees?). Yesterday I tied a wreath from the ivy, eucalyptus and bayleaf bushes and trees I have in my garden. Go me!

Am attempting a low cost Christmas season. The challenge is on!!

xx, dkm

Storm

Hi - just read through this entire thread - love your writing style!

One thought that popped into my head - if you're at uni go ask HSBC to change your account back to a student one - that way you'll get a 0% overdraft with them.

I am just wondering how filo pastry fits into a casserole...

diekleinemue

Storm wrote:

Hi - just read through this entire thread - love your writing style!

One thought that popped into my head - if you're at uni go ask HSBC to change your account back to a student one - that way you'll get a 0% overdraft with them.

I am just wondering how filo pastry fits into a casserole...

DUH! I feel like such a muppet!! Of course! I am only part time studying though but that's definitely worth a shot! ARGH! Right, will go and see them tomorrow morning about this!

And for the filo...? I thought I'd cover the various veggies with that before shoving it into the oven...? No? Maybe I need to explore more options here. We also have some really nice sausages in the freezer. I could defrost them and put them in with the veggies...? No?

Thank you for your feedback about the thread. Half the fun (and relief and my learning process) lies in writing about my situation, the other half is of course if someone reads it and enjoys it and might even contribute their thoughts and ideas. So thank you very much for that!

xx, dkm

Tustastic

Good luck with all your plans and efforts DK, I too keyboard almost as fast as I speak so it is hard to be concise.
About the money game - good idea and keep exploring it but I read the other day that if you tell lots of people about a brainwave it is then impossible to get a patent.
Also, I believe it is fine to take a few branches from trees in public parks ie some holly as long as it is just for your own personal use. I used to lead an annual holly-picking expedition in Epping Forest and we just collected one carrer-bag full each, or less.
Very interesting stuff about attitudes to money in your family, and interesting that you and your OH are finding it good for your relationship to communicate openly about money. Most of all, well done for taking responsibility for your own attitudes and behaviour around money.:)

diekleinemue

Hello Tustastic, thank you for the tip re: the patent... *ahem* I shall develop the idea a little further and see if anything comes from it. When I start negotiations with Hasbro I'll let everyone know.

Also, I'm going to go for a walk then this weekend with a pair of secateurs in my pocket... he he! I wish there was enough snow around to cover my foot steps and thus remove all evidence... Never mind. *hums Winter Wonderland*

Taking responsibility for my financial situation and to challenge my attitude towards money is the trickiest part in all of this because there is so much (false) solace to be found in thinking you got it under control when you have a personal loan that covers it all.

The fact that I was rejected this supposed security blanket twice is what made me rethink and finally woke me up. In order to stay awake and not lose track I have to remind myself every day about what I need to do.
Since I discovered this website and the forum I am "hanging out" here a lot. It is an important part in my dealing with my debt. I am so glad I found it!

Ah, time to go. I'm invited to the cinema!! Stranger than Fiction, am much looking forward!

xx, mue

CLAPTON

too much to read for me so this may already be resolved but

a super balance transfer is merely a CC that allows a BT betweeen your current a/c and the card..so once the money is in your bank you can use it to pay a loan off or anything else for that matter.

most (maybe all) MBNA cards allow this to happen .... Abbey A&L Virgin are all MBNA cards etc and also EGG Money is a SBT card.

just bear in mind that of course transferring loans to CC may not reduce your monthly payments and of course you need to find somewhere to move the money to after the 0% period is finished.

whatatwit

Hi Mue.

How was the veggie/filo/sausage concoction. It's almost as though we went to the same cookery school.

Have you had a mosey over to the old style board yet, they appear to make fantastic meals out of well....potato peelings....I kid you not.

Glad to see that you and OH are keeping the spending diaries and competing as well.

Looking forward to the next installment in the life of Mue. :rotfl:

moxie_2

Hi great thread, really enjoyed reading it. I'm a fellow Moomin fan too (my mum is Finnish). Good luck with sorting everything out, keeping a spending diary is so helpful to see where all the pennies (or pounds) go. And I get really excited now when I get a bargain!