Please help my daughter is picking on one of her friends!

pelirocco

Counting_Pennies wrote: »

Sadly this seems to happen at this age group with girls. Boys seem to bumble along well together, where girls have to know they are best friends, asert themselves and fight verbally and physically in order to keep it that way.

You are right to want to stamp it out however, as this can go all the way through their long careers in school if this doesn't get addressed.

I think it is highlighting it, that all of them can be friends together. How would she feel if she was left out and people told her she wasn't liked.

Reward charts are great for this age. Work closely with the nursery, and say specifically to them that you need to know whether she says the hurtful comments. On the days she doesn't say the hurtful comments she gets a star, and if she gets a star for every day of the week she will go to Toys R Us and get a gift up to the value of £x.

With boys it tends to happen when they are a little older. My son had an issue with two other boys. All wanted to be the best friend, and sadly one parent decided they would put all their might behind their son being the big best friend, and it really upset my son. Invited the other boy to play every weekend, each time my son had a play arranged with the other boy, they would invite the other boy round to play the night before and return him late, so he would be too tired to come and play the next day and it would be cancelled. This went on for a good 6 months. So I kept with it, and made sure all three boys played together. If one was invited to play, they both were, so I could witness the behaviour, and get down to their level and explain how they could all be friends and not exclude one another. They are now really good mates with one another, they love doing the same things in a trio.

hth

In my experience it happens with girls all the way through school ( amd possible beyond )

mummyplus3

Thanks for all your helpful replies! I think i struggled with the "like her father thing" recently because I got a trace pack through from the CSA a few days ago so its brought some mild annoyance to the surface.

we had a talk this morning about it over breakfast and DD says the G calls her a baby and says some nasty thing to her and they just end up fighting so I told her that if G says something to her she must just say that's not very nice and go and play somewhere else untill she has calmed down.

Went into nursery this morning and they are all best friends again, so I am hoping that they will sort it out now.

jinky67

mummyplus3 wrote: »

Thanks for all your helpful replies! I think i struggled with the "like her father thing" recently because I got a trace pack through from the CSA a few days ago so its brought some mild annoyance to the surface.

we had a talk this morning about it over breakfast and DD says the G calls her a baby and says some nasty thing to her and they just end up fighting so I told her that if G says something to her she must just say that's not very nice and go and play somewhere else untill she has calmed down.

Went into nursery this morning and they are all best friends again, so I am hoping that they will sort it out now.

and that is the right way to deal with it, I used to say that to my DD too, us 3 Mums used to laugh about the way our daughters carried on, cos we were all hearing the same story on different days:rotfl:
I think the problem was they all wanted to be top dog
They have to learn to sort it for themselves, it would be different if they werent great friends usually, it WOULD be a problem then