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Living life, loving life.......hypno's having a ball!
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Hypno - glad to hear you survived 'THE' day! xox
Work is very strange at the mo - a very senior member of the team has left suddenly this week, so there is much to do. It is very intense here at the mo as a result, but looking forward, it means that I get some "new" clients allocated to me, which can only be good news.Successful women can still have their feet on the ground. They just wear better shoes. (Maud Van de Venne)Life begins at the end of your comfort zone (Neale Donald Walsch)0 -
How lovely :kisses3::j:kisses3::j:kisses3::j2023: the year I get to buy a car0
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Thanks KC!Successful women can still have their feet on the ground. They just wear better shoes. (Maud Van de Venne)Life begins at the end of your comfort zone (Neale Donald Walsch)0
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hi carbootcrazy! Brief run down as follows for you and anyone else who needs a catch up!
Getting back together with (X)OH was an option, but I made the decision that there were too many things that were too broke to fix, and from there we decided to divorce very quickly and both allow ourselves, and our children to move on. This has, I have to say, been the best course of action for us (I can't speak for him, but I truly think it is best for him too). We remain on good terms, and that is an achievement in itself I think.
Once that decision had been made, I put the house on the market - it went up for sale in August, and I accepted a good offer in October, so not too bad considering. We were realistic in what we were asking, and it was meant to be. I did spend most weekends giving it a fresh coat of paint as some of the rooms were looking a bit "tired" and the woodwork etc had white gloss again rather than the faded yellowing paintwork of old etc. I also acknowledged that there were things that could still be done such as updating bathrooms and accounted for them in the price. I had already seen the house I wanted, so it was very simple. We moved in on 22nd December, in time to have Christmas there, and to hit the New Year as our "new" unit of me and the children in our very happy, very relaxed homeIt was hectic, as housemoving always is, especially that close to Christmas, but it was the best thing we could have done, and truly allowed us all to move on in more ways, hard though it was at times.
The final bit of the debt was paid off at the same time, and my mortgage is slightly smaller as a result of downsizing too, so financially it is much better - enough of a breathing space to allow me to develop this wonderful social life that I now have :cool:
So, I have a combination of old friends, and new - the lovely "bottle of wine and catch up on the sofa" type evenings, and the "try something new and get out there evenings" all fitting in together nicely. I no longer have to worry about not being able to buy a round of drinks at the bar, or about the cost of sharing a cab home....I budget for it all, and it all works. I can do stuff with the children too, which we have thoroughly enjoyed over this past year. And of course where possible we do it with clubcard deals, or whatever, so it is not just a case of throwing money away.
All in all, I am the happiest I have been in a long time. That is not to say that I am not sad that my marriage failed, because I am, but we change, time changes, and sometimes decisions have to be made that, although tough all round at the time, are beneficial to all going forward.
Our new house is relaxed and happy - friends are welcome any time, the children love it, we all have plenty of space.....both physically and emotionally.....and much fizz has been consumed
And in the process, I have discovered "me".......and I am liking the person that I am. Result :rotfl:
*ym delurks* Hi H, a lovely post as usual. I am in the same position as you were about 18 months ago. I am a little older than you and my two dd's are still at junior school. I read your diary and it gives me hope that there will be "light at the end of my tunnel." Hugs:)The past is over & done & cannot be changed. This is the only moment we can experience - Louise Hay"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection."-- Buddha0 -
yummymommy wrote: »*ym delurks* Hi H, a lovely post as usual. I am in the same position as you were about 18 months ago. I am a little older than you and my two dd's are still at junior school. I read your diary and it gives me hope that there will be "light at the end of my tunnel." Hugs:)
What I would say, is that only YOU can make YOUR decisions. Others may think they can, but if you don't do things, the light at the end of the tunnel will be some way away. That can sometimes be scary, and you have to be prepared for some emotional soulsearching. And of course not everything goes right first time, so be prepared for mistakes!
But keep going, and the light becomes brighterSuccessful women can still have their feet on the ground. They just wear better shoes. (Maud Van de Venne)Life begins at the end of your comfort zone (Neale Donald Walsch)0 -
Thank you. You're absolutely right, I hadn't looked at it like that. I am normally a very strong and confident person. I have to say though this has completely knocked the stuffing out of me. I do worry about my DD's. It is so strange after 18 years not to be part of a couple. Thanks H. Hugs x:)The past is over & done & cannot be changed. This is the only moment we can experience - Louise Hay"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection."-- Buddha0
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change can always be hard at first ... but sometimes needed ... good luck yummy mummy if there is anyone to look to see a bright future to it is hypno0
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Hugs to you too! Don't worry about your DDs - give them space, give them respect, don't say crappy things about ex in front of them etc. They are more resilient than you think. Although mine are a bit older, DD was just heading into her GCSEs and I thought the timing would be cruicial to her, but because we (both) dealt with it in a grown up and respectful manner (not perfect, but so much better than many I see), she took her exams and did just as well as we ever expected, so she wasn't unduly troubled, if that makes sense!
It is never the "right" time to do this sort of thing, but the way in which you deal with it makes all the difference.
You are in control of far more than you may think.Successful women can still have their feet on the ground. They just wear better shoes. (Maud Van de Venne)Life begins at the end of your comfort zone (Neale Donald Walsch)0 -
Thanks Elan. Hypno, you're right I am in control. I just need to keep telling myself that. Huge thanks xxx:TThe past is over & done & cannot be changed. This is the only moment we can experience - Louise Hay"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection."-- Buddha0
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Left work on time tonight, and so did a quick change and went for a decent run. 7.5 miles through the beautiful countryside, as the sun started to set over the fields - superb, and a reminder of why I love running, and why I love living where I do.Successful women can still have their feet on the ground. They just wear better shoes. (Maud Van de Venne)Life begins at the end of your comfort zone (Neale Donald Walsch)0
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