combining your shopping when you first move in with your OH!

londoner1998

brokeinwales wrote: »

Um... I wouldn't say it was a problem exactly. I do like to be in control of what I eat - and I do get a bit stressed sometimes if I have to eat away from home for more than a couple of meals - it upsets me how people can make a days worth of meals with no vegetables at all - and then I have to spend the next week feeling bloated, lethargic and spotty. (I think one of the reasons I first considered going from vegetarian to vegan was because people were constantly feeding me macaroni cheese!). Not to exagerate that I have a major problem - I like a bowl of chips and ketchup or a bar of chocolate now and then like everybody, but I very much like to have a say in the matter, rather than it be the only thing available.

So - yeah I guess you could be right that I'm a bit uptight about it and that's why I'm worrying more than strictly necessary!

I understand that and I think it is a good thing to consider that matter and how to go about it- but I would say, since he is fairly relaxed about it and you say that your food is probably more expensive than his, there is not much to worry about- just make sure you don't start critisicing his choices (I am not saying you are now, but I know how easy it is to start telling them how much better they would feel if we ate what we eat- mea culpa, not wih good but in other areas!!)

I suspect that since you will be living together and he will be sampling your food, sooner than later he will be converted: mine is pretty much vegetarian now anyway, and only indulge in his meat if he gets a craving or sees something on offer, or we are eating out.

As I say, enjoy it: I remember very fonly our first months together and he stills tease me about my breakfast choices during those early days...

FBaby

When my partner moved in together, we put a budget together for food shopping, assuming we would do the shop together but the reality is that we are still to do that. I guess some habits die hard!!! We both found it much easier to do our own shopping in our own time. My OH strangely really enjoys going to tesco, when always says no when i suggest he does a list and I would get. Our house is a bit mad when it comes to meals, my kids eat at 6:30 because they are starving and have homework, washing etc.. to do afterwards. My OH often goes mountain biking, or has work functions, so often doesn't get home until later and I have found hunger gets the better of me and I am not managing to wait, which he doesn't mind. We do manage to have some meals together, one cooking for the other but we plan these in advance!!

I can see how this would sound wierd but it works for us. I am just really grateful that my man is so flexible and not bothered with homemade meals because I don't think I could cope with the pressure (working full time, over 2 hours travelling per day, kids to look after...)

burnoutbabe

When boyfriend moved in, i applied for a new credit card in my name, with him as a additional card holder. We use this for all food shopping we do (even quick trips to buy milk) so that we can then split 50/50 at month end (so much easier than working out who spent what all the time)

First few months was fun, him buying stuff I wouldn't eat, but we learnt what each other likes now, and have the stuff the other doesn't like when the other is on an evening out. I pick up stuff often in the week (do men ever notice loo roll is needed???) and he trawls the reduced to clear stuff for bargains.

Oh, and when you move in together you WILL put on weight. My old days of "just have a baked spud for tea" have changed in that i tend to always have a main meal at dinner (even if had lunch out) and puddings and wine are often had! I could say no to pudding but i have no willpower for 25p rocky road deserts

have fun!

property.advert

If the OP wasn't a vegan then there wouldn't be a problem would there ? She is the one who cannot eat the other one's food.

Newly_retired

I often have to shop because we have run out of DH's "must have" items, whereas I can make meals with what we've got. But it doesn't bother me. When he is away I can have what I want eg pasta which he dislikes, or I use up left overs I have frozen or treat myself to something special.
I'm sure you will be able to work things out. I guess there are other things which might prove more tricky!

spugzbunny

brokeinwales wrote: »

What do you do about kitchen equipment and things like cleaning products and tea towels? (Just being nosy here btw!)

Well we buy everything that is non food together. In reality how that usually works is either I buy it and get the pennies back from him or I tell him he needs to buy X when he goes to the supermarket.

It's only food that we don't split! I don't have him on a meter for the gas or anything - although I probably should as I think I'd win on that one!:T

brokeinwales

On Friday late afternoons the milk round lad used to call at our house for the weeks money. i used to shout Dad to the door (cos I fancied the milk lad and could oggle him for longer;)). Dad used to then pay him from money in his wallet/pocket cos mum was not home from work till later. When mum got in Dad used to tell her she owed him the milk money and she used to pay it back to her ...from the weekly housekeeping money Dad had given her on his pay-day

Actually, I think I remember my parents doing something similar when I was very small! Parents are weird....

Thanks everyone for all the posts - particularly the stories about how you do it yourselves. It seems everybody works it out slightly differently according to what works for them, so I guess when it comes to it we'll probably play it by ear, maybe try a few different ways of doing things to see what works best. I'll have a chat with him about it (we need to talk about other things related to moving in together at some point anyway - when I lived with my ex we moved in together without discussing anything first, I'm sure that's one of the reasons it all ended up going wrong)

If the OP wasn't a vegan then there wouldn't be a problem would there ? She is the one who cannot eat the other one's food.

Bit of a moot point really. Veganism in itself doesn't mean we can't eat the same food - it just means he would eat milk/ meat etc as well (after all, who lives on only animal produce?!) . Being vegan isn't really much of an issue, as I see it it's more about different shopping styles

It's only food that we don't split! I don't have him on a meter for the gas or anything - although I probably should as I think I'd win on that one!:T

Oh man - I would totally lose that one! I love my hot baths... the CD/DVD budget on the other hand....

burnoutbabe

well cd/dvd budget would generally come out of the pocket of whoever wanted that item.

I'd stick meals out together under the "joint expenditure" category. So no need to do a running total of who paid when if its on a joint card. Drinking when out usually works as you do a round each so it evens out.

ilovecheese

Me and my hubby both work full time, I hate cooking and shopping, so every payday I give my hubby house keeping money and he does all the shopping and all the cooking. He doesn't eat crips but buys me a 6 pack every week!

He asks me each time he goes shopping if I need anything, and is really really good at making dinners he knows I like!

I have a very good hubby

Gigglepig

This sounds like hard work to me. My advice would be don't sweat the small stuff. If such a trivial issue causes stress, are you sure that you want to move in together? :-(

Is it really that hard to compromise - for example he can cook 3 days, you cook 3 days, you eat out or at family once a week, and you all just eat the food that someone has lovingly prepared for you? :-) If you find that both of you are inflexible completely unwilling to change I don't think that's good news.

And if you would like to change your diet or styles of cooking, approach it as a shared project, and for example consider some cooking lessons.... If one person wants very healthy veggie food and the other likes takeaways, perhaps learning to cook indian veggie curry could be a fun compromise, right? Cooking and eating together can be a fun interesting project.