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patchwork_cat wrote: »At 18 I certainly don't think you should be going behind his back to the teacher. I do think you have to carry on encouraging, but he is an adult or virtually.
legally maybe.. means nothing otherwise.. My 19 y/o actually said only yesterday, unprompted, from his own mouth... he is not yet an adult but he nearly is.. They are adults when they start behaving like adults and taking responsibilty for their own career is part of that. Apparently DS1 isn't responsible enough to be an adult.
I think going to the tutors and showing you are actually interested in your almost grown up children takes not only a fair amount of courage but if you have tried the nagging and the bribery and everything else what should you do? let them fail everything and end up supporting them another year while they do resits?
DS1 is a year behind already and hates it.. he is the oldest student in the college (20 in Sept.) and is totally humiliated by it..LB moment 10/06 Debt Free date 6/6/14Hope to be debt free until the day I dieMortgage-free Wannabee (05/08/30)6/6/14 £72,454.65 (5.65% int.)08/12/2023 £33602.00 (4.81% int.)0 -
Well I wouldn't do that and I am seen as on his case too much with regards to work, so goodness knows how much he would kick off if I went up to see his teachers without his knowledge!0
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patchwork_cat wrote: »At 18 I certainly don't think you should be going behind his back to the teacher. I do think you have to carry on encouraging, but he is an adult or virtually.
My dd is 18 and if I thought that she wasn't working well at school and that "going behind her back to the teacher" to work out a strategy/ get some straight answers/ ensure she didn't fail, I would not hesitate!
As a teacher, if a parent came to me to have a chat about their 18 year in confidence ie behind the student's back I would not hesitate to speak to them and keep the confidence!
My dd wouldn't like it but would not disowned me like an earlier poster said, because she is not stupid and eventually she would realise it would be for her own good!
These students may be 18 but as long as they are supported by their parents, said parents have every right to go and see teachers and do everything in their power to make sure they succeed! Also, although a lot of 18 year olds behave like adults, some don't. 6th form years are crucial. All in fair in love and war and the education of one's children!LBM: August 2006 £12,568.49 - DFD 22nd March 2012
"The road to DF is long and bumpy" GreenSaints0 -
I told DS3 that he could tell me what he liked about how he was getting on, but I was likely to check it out with his teachers, because experience had taught me his version of how he was doing wasn't always shared by them!
He's one of those lads who seemed to think that if he had not personally been told something, it didn't apply to him. That went for equipment needed to coursework to be done: a letter / email home wasn't enough, being told as a group in a lesson wasn't enough. He seemed to think that if they really wanted him to do something, they would find a way to communicate with him personally ...
I think we've got there now: he's at Uni, so I have no idea what's going on!Signature removed for peace of mind0 -
I think we've got there now: he's at Uni, so I have no idea what's going on!
Do you know this is what I realised earlier on today.
If he goes to Uni then I wouldn't know if there was a problem with his studying (unless he got chucked out of course!); if he goes into the Armed Services then again I would have no idea of how he's progressing and the same if he manages to get a job to tide him over before going to Uni or into the Armed Services.
The annoying thing is, is that his teacher has told me Junior is more than capable of getting the grades needed....and this is what has bugged me more.
Roll on the next 8 weeks I say!2014 Target;
To overpay CC by £1,000.
Overpayment to date : £310
2nd Purse Challenge:
£15.88 saved to date0 -
Let's not wish those 8 weeks away too fast.. I have 2 of them who will be under my feet 24/7 then... :eek:LB moment 10/06 Debt Free date 6/6/14Hope to be debt free until the day I dieMortgage-free Wannabee (05/08/30)6/6/14 £72,454.65 (5.65% int.)08/12/2023 £33602.00 (4.81% int.)0
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These students may be 18 but as long as they are supported by their parents, said parents have every right to go and see teachers and do everything in their power to make sure they succeed! Also, although a lot of 18 year olds behave like adults, some don't. 6th form years are crucial. All in fair in love and war and the education of one's children!
Absolutely :T:T:T:T:TPlease do not confuse me with other gratefulsforhelp. x0 -
Let's not wish those 8 weeks away too fast.. I have 2 of them who will be under my feet 24/7 then... :eek:
Either they will sleep all day or I'm sure you will bootcamp them and have a sparkly house without lifting a finger
Mum of several with a twisted sense of humour and a laundry obsession
:o
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Either they will sleep all day or I'm sure you will bootcamp them and have a sparkly house without lifting a finger
the garden has moss that needs removing so i can seed it.. job for ds1 ..
dd1 is going to be the proud owner of a mop.LB moment 10/06 Debt Free date 6/6/14Hope to be debt free until the day I dieMortgage-free Wannabee (05/08/30)6/6/14 £72,454.65 (5.65% int.)08/12/2023 £33602.00 (4.81% int.)0
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